To ask what is the most ridiculous thing you’ve been jealous of?

[Chillidoritto]

As a child I was ridiculously jealous of my 3 little brothers for being boys! Not the usual sibling jealousy but because they got to wear trousers all the time, even for weddings when I got made to wear a frilly dress. They got the type of trainers I wanted when I was stuck with girly ones. But most of all because they had a willy and got to wee standing up! 😂

I used to put a chapstick in my knickers and say it was my willy, to somehow try and compensate!!

My parents (and brothers) love to remind me about this!

I’ve thought of 2 more - I am clearly riddled with jealousy

Girls who grew boobs (I’m still waiting) and wore their school shirts hard unbuttoned to show off said boobs !

Women out running with earphones in and swingy long ponytails. I can’t run ☹️

I was a terribly, terribly jealous child. It all hinged round what I looked like and what others looked like - I don’t really know why, I was a completely normal looking little girl and I don’t recall ever having anything mean said to me. But I was intensely jealous of anyone I perceived to be better looking than me. For a long time I harboured some horrible feelings towards my own sister.

It’s quite uncomfortable thinking about it actually, I really hope none of my family being it up, I’d be mortified and so so upset. It was totally irrational.

Girls who could do walkovers and flips in the playground. I could barely do a handstand and never mastered touching my toes.

I was jealous of so many of these - relieved to see I wasn't the only weird child envious of inhalers etc

I came from a very working class background and lived on a council estate until I was ten. At school all my friends were very middle class (children of lawyers/academics etc) I spent most of my childhood feeling envious as a result. One friend had a housekeeper/tennis court/huge bay window that you could sit in overlooking the most beautiful sea view. I could hardly bear being in her house!

As an adult I feel sick with jealously whenever a close friend announces they're pregnant. I have two DC and I could have a few more if I wanted as age/finances aren't an issue, but I absolutely don't want any more and hated the baby years so it makes zero sense? It always passes very quickly and I can feel genuinely happy for them but my initial reaction is always jealousy - I have absolutely no idea why?!

People who were allowed to watch all the TV programmes my mum banned (including Blind Date, Gladiators and Rikki Lake).

People who were allowed to wear shell suits. I don't even care now looking back that they were ugly fire hazards, I still resent not being allowed to get one even when I had saved all my birthday and pocket money up.

A friend from my class in school. I flunked my A-levels because I started working part time in retail as a teen, found the overtime book and my studies went out the window. Then I got pregnant by an asshole, and now raise my ds in a council house and work part time in a job a monkey could do. She focused on her studies, went to uni, and now works for the Royal archives When I found out, I was positively green for a few days.

I love my life, and my amazing ds, but her achievements feel to much like "what could have been" for me, same school, age, similar backgrounds and personalities. If she posted on social media more often, I'd probably have to remove her, it's like getting a glimpse into a parallel life, where I could have had a life like hers.

I rarely get envious, so feeling it properly for the first time in ages, really took me by surprise, and it wasn't riches that triggered it, or designer clothes, but a youtube video of her handling archive stuff . It's made me realise too, that I am quite a strange wee bean, even deep down .

@TradedAtlanta

I was insanely jealous of my neighbour's dimples as a little girl. So much so I tried to inflict some on my face with a daily regime featuring the rubber on the end of my pencil.

Ha ha. This is so cute

*raise my ds as a single parent, . And I forgot at least one full stop too.

There was a girl from China in my class and she used to go back during the summers and come home with the most amazing hello kitty stationery kits. They had mini pencils, hidden erasures, tiny pink paper clips. I wanted one so badly. She also wasn't forced to have a fringe, so lucky.

@Level75

Children wearing glasses. I lied at the optician when they did the test (age 5) but I must have done a bad job and they saw straight through the ruse.

Ha ha I did this too Two of my best friends had gold rimmed glasses and I thought they looked cool. I pretended I couldn’t see the blackboard, so the school suggested that I should have an eye test. My mum took me to the opticians and I did my best Meryl Streep impression and pretended that I couldn’t see a thing, fully expecting to leave with a pair of glasses. Just like you, I failed woefully and left without glasses. I cried all the way home

"At primary school I was jealous of kids who had a nose bleed. All the blood! It was fascinating and I never had one. Still haven’t!"

I feel more normal now reading some of these . I was a bit jealous of all my sisters nosebleeds too, not for the attention (I got enough of that, being accused of causing said nose bleeds more often than not), but because I wanted to feel what it was like. I always felt the same about kids with plaster casts for broken bones too, especially the ones scribbled in messages and stuff.

Odd to think someone is bound to have been jealous of each of us, at some point in our lives, even while we've yearned for what someone else has.

I didn't think I had an irrational jealousy until I remembered I wanted a blue bat wing top that the girl from the Thompson Twins was wearing. I was so crazed about it that I cried. My mum was so nice about it explaining pop stars had people styling them and it was part of their job to look cool.

@itchyfinger

I was jealous of the kids in school who had asthma, they used to get "special" treatment and go to the nurses room every day for their inhaler

I was jealous of other children with allergies for similar reasons.

Ridiculous

I was brought up in London and was jealous of a girl who joined our school because she had a Scouse accent which instantly made her popular with everyone ( students and teachers).

My best friend at school had pretty scatter cushions on her bed, and one was embroidered with her name! Her name! It seemed incredibly sophisticated to me.

She also had a Ladro figurine of a boy in a wizard hat and holding a gold wand. I yearned for it.

Finally she had a pair of Nike's and the swoosh motif was in iridescent rainbow colours and she had the matching baseball cap.

The envy. The envy.

My friend's Strawberry Shortcake doll collection. It took all of my willpower not to pilfer one also they were in pristine condition, whereas all my dolls either had no hair, were naked, or both

I often thought of nicking my friend’s Sylvanian Family dolls. She had loads of them, all beautifully arranged in her room. She was also an only child which I envied SO much. I had two unruly brothers who’d mess up my boring Sindy collection, so something as expensive as Sylvanian Families were out of the question.

I still have her on my Facebook and she has a lovely shiny childfree life in the country. I am obsessed.

I always wanted to go to a school where a hat was part of the uniform. Not that I knew anyone who did but I read an awful lot of Malory Towers. I've no idea where this fascination with school hats came from but it was deep and it was real. I still get a pang of jealousy if I see someone in that sort of uniform.

I was jealous of the dog and cat because they had a tail, made myself one with wool that i used to pin on also plaster casts,only bone i broke as a chiid was my nose.

@Aspiringmatriarch

I used to be jealous of a little boy who was diabetic and had his own lunch from home which always looked really yummy. Obviously didn't have a clue at the time diabetes was anything serious.

I remember feeling jealous of toddlers and babies looking all cosy in their pushchairs while I was having to trudge round the shops with my mum. Odd for a child, but I've never been particularly energetic.

The worst one is probably feeling secretly jealous of people with eating disorders like anorexia for having enough self discipline to be thin. In my defence I was a teenager at the time and blinded by my own insecurities but that does still strike me as pretty crass!

I relate to the anorexia one. I feel a bit bad about it too, but in my defense, I was a compulsive eater and I always thought that if I had to have an eating disorder, I wanted to have the "better one". I really wished i could eat normally but in would swing from hard-core bingeing to trying to starve myself. I thought at least anorexics were thin. I was pretty overweight. It was as though my attitude to food was black and white. Either stuffing myself or if I tried to diet, instead of being a normal person and joining weight watchers, I would try living in an Apple a day for 3 days or something. Didn't help that I had OCD tendencies and was a failed perfectionist. High expectations but never succeeded.

I'm quite jealous of people on furlough right now. It's redic because I do like my job. It means my job isn't at risk. I actually have a job so shouldn't grumble.

I own my own home (mortgage) we move north out of London to afford to buy. I'm slightly jealous of my friend who rents a tiny flat for 1600 a month. As I miss London and its in a lovely little block with a shared garden. Again really should be counting my blessings.

I was sooo jealous of girls in my class with a brace...god knows why now...I used to unbend a paper clip and put it on my front teeth.

Same applied to girls with pierced ears. Used to get one of those awful cheap metal rings and break in half and clench each half on my lobes.

Also coveted glasses and 'stole' a girls pair from her shoebag once....and put them back 4 mins later feeling guilty- and i think that was my first ever memory of feeling guilty - aged about 7

Braces oh I longed for braces. But alas I did not need them. So unfair.

My most intense jealousy was when I was 4 and a little girl in my class had the most amazing braids. Her name was Iffy and her mother was a goddess of braiding. Amazing intricate patterns. I begged my mother to do my hair the same way. She tried to explain that it would not be possible with my very fine rather straight hair. I sulked for days

Similar personality type here and yes on the chunky side (well, I thought so at the time.) Compulsive eater at times too.

Sorry, that was @SnappedAndFartedInMaui