@Defeated88
Unfortunately just leaving him isn't that simple as I am currently 25 weeks pregnant. Although I have a good and would be able to buy him out of the house if it did come to it.
He gets angry as he doesn't like people not listening to him. If he says something once and you don't hear (even if you are doing something and genuinely didn't hear) he takes it personally. Not making excuses it is just the way he is. I often feel I am treading on eggshells around him and have to be 'ready to hear anything he says at all times.
Do you think that’s normal or acceptable? I’m not usually one to jump on the automatic leave him band wagon, but walking around in egg shells, always having to be ready to listen to what he says, screaming at a 6yo child in the face, he hinders your job, all sound like red flags to me. It reminds me of that domestic violence advert where the woman can’t move anywhere because there are egg shells all over the floor.
How do you not know what’s happened in the past if your just in the other room? If I hear my DH shouting at the DCs regardless which rooms we are in I go and find out what is happening. I won’t just ask what’s happened I will survey the room and see what’s happening and dig down the the actual facts, of who did what etc..I have absolutely no problems pulling my DH up if I think he’s out of order, but I will also back him up if I think he’s justified in shouting at the DCs. But I may also say to him on the quiet that he might have been a bit ott or go easy on so a and so because they had a bad day at school etc... He will do the same to me. We have a pact, he will pull me up if he thinks I’m over reacting because they are pushing my buttons and vice versa. We also 100% will always apologise to our DCs if either of us is out of order.
Parents scream and shout, I’d be a hypocrite if I said I didn’t, but a grown man shouting in a 6yo face is threatening, intimidating and bullying, your poor DD must have been terrified even if she hasn’t said so. As I said my DH shouts usually after the umpteenth time of asking the DCs to do something, but he would never ever do that, I’d knock his block off if he did. My mother use to scream in my face like that and I really bucking hated her for it, as a child I was terrified of her.
Being pregnant dosnt stop you from leaving if anything it’s more of an incentive to put a stop to this now.
He’s told you he dosnt respect you, why would you want to be with a man who dose not respect you and teach your daughter it’s acceptable to be with a bully that dose not respect you?
As I’ve said I’m not a jump on the leave him straight away band wagon. If you think there is a way forward, pull him up on his behaviour, lay it all out, what he dose how it impacts your family and life and see if he sees it and is willing to work on it then do it. But if your afraid of his reaction to you doing this then you seriously need to think about leaving.