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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this was oversensitive?

81 replies

LemonSherbetFancies · 09/01/2021 15:00

I do feel pretty happy right now. Mainly because I have a great relationship with my DP, we have all bonded more as a family, he has kept his job and it's done better than ever business wise and we have (God willing) all stayed healthy.
Of course we miss all our social events and seeing all our friends and extended family but we do feel happy. I put a post on FB saying yesterday night saying "Feeling very happy." and got a few nasty responses asking how could I be when the economy is in ruins, people are dying and kids education is being wrecked.
Aibu to say that it really is something when people are criticised for trying to make the best of a bad situation?

OP posts:

AlwaysCheddar · 09/01/2021 15:01

Could have put some context to the comment, or offset it with in lucky etc.

HighSpecWhistle · 09/01/2021 15:02

YANBU to feel very happy.

But why put it on Facebook? It's not of those status' that either screams "ask me why" or seems like it's forced. No need to plot all your emotions on Facebook. And now is also probably not a great time given 1000+ people are dying daily from Covid.

Imiss2019 · 09/01/2021 15:03

Is that all you put? If it is then really why post it on Facebook at all. Who cares? What response were you hoping for?

OrangeGinLemonFanta · 09/01/2021 15:03

"Feeling very happy" doesn't sound like making the most of a bad situation. It sounds like being a smug twat who really isn't reading the room. I'm not saying you are a smug twat but honestly, most people are struggling right now so your post wasn't ever going to be well received.

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/01/2021 15:04

What were you hoping to achieve with your post?

As a family we’ve also been very fortunate so far staying well and DH being able to wfh. As a result I’ve got more in my tank than a lot of our friends and have tried to be as supportive as I can rather than rubbing anyone’s face in it.

Over 1300 people died of covid yesterday. The economy is in ruins. Countless families have lost loved ones, businesses, incomes, homes and are facing a terrifying future.

You’re happy and doing well. You can keep that to yourself right now.

Try a bit of empathy. It’ll do you good.

littlebirdworrying · 09/01/2021 15:11

That's great that you feel happy, but posting just that line on Facebook does come across as a smug and insensitive to what's going on in the world. Great that you are unaffected by the pandemic, but most people are not in the same headspace as you at the moment.

LindaEllen · 09/01/2021 15:12

I don't think people should have commented shit like that, but honestly, why did you put it on Facebook? Why Margaret Jones who was in your primary school class in 1982 care that you're feeling happy right now? Who are you trying to prove it to? Your followers or yourself?

What do you want? Congratulations on being happy?

Just think about what the actual purpose might have been to posting that kind of comment.

Honestly, it feels like the way you would expect a teen to use social media - little snippets that are designed to grab attention.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/01/2021 15:17

Get rid of Facebook altogether and you won't have these problems. Honestly, all this over-sharing is just tedious.

Swingometer · 09/01/2021 15:19

If you just posted "feeling very happy" with no context or photo then that does come across as a bit smug and insensitive on a day when record numbers of people tested positive and died with covid (I would have ignored it so not defending the people who felt the need to comment negatively but I would have probably eye rolled if I saw that on my feed)

There is nothing wrong with being optimistic and positive but context is everything

EagleFlight · 09/01/2021 15:22

Worst day of the pandemic yet in terms of deaths and recorded positive cases, you say you are very happy, and wonder why it upsets people? I wouldn’t say anyone who disagreed with you was even being sensitive, let alone over sensitive.

If you really cannot see that YABU then it’s even worrying still.

AgentProvocateur · 09/01/2021 15:23

Even in normal times, why would you post that? Do you think people care about your emotional status? And particularly tone deaf to post it at the height of a pandemic.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 09/01/2021 15:23

Ah come on OP if you put something like that on it’s just attention seeking because you want people to ask why, it’s deliberately coy, although most people won’t give a shit.

Like when people ambiguously ‘check in’ at a hospital and you get a load of mugs going ‘what’s up?’ and ‘hope everything is ok’.

It’s really cringy.

ivfbeenbusy · 09/01/2021 15:26

Posting something like that just comes across as smug - whoever commented isn't being over sensitive - you weren't sensitive enough - there's a difference

BeenHereForAges · 09/01/2021 15:26

I'd say your post was insensitive.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 09/01/2021 15:27

Unlike many here, I am fan of social media (maybe it's because my family and friends are far, who knows) and even I would 🤔 at just "Feeling very happy".
It's attention fishing. Same like "feeling sad" or "ona way to hospital". It does nkthing but begs for people to atart asking. So yabu. But they were bu too with the answers.

If you wrote, I know times are tough, but i am feleong really happy our family managed to get closer together blablbablabla" it's a different thing.

Emeeno1 · 09/01/2021 15:27

What is this need to announce our feelings, emotional state or circumstances to others online?

Announcements used to be for weddings, births and deaths.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 09/01/2021 15:28

Sorry for typos

Shamoo · 09/01/2021 15:30

I'm friends with a woman on FB who I was at uni with. At the moment she is constantly posting about how amazing home schooling is, how great her kids are etc. with endless photos. I don't have kids and am not having a hard time at all, but every time I see it I just think she looks like an utter idiot. She must know how hard many people are finding it, so I can only assume she wants to show off and make others feel shit. A mutual friend actually messaged me about it yesterday to say how rubbish it made her feel in comparison, but I have been thinking it for much longer than that.

Of course, I don't know what your post said in full OP, but maybe it's a bit like that?

VimFuego101 · 09/01/2021 15:32

YABU. I hate vaguebooking and people fishing for compliments/ to be asked why they're happy/ why they're checking into a hospital.

Oysterbabe · 09/01/2021 15:33

Did you not give any context? That's a weird attention seeking post if not.

Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 09/01/2021 15:34

I'm sorry but I can't stand these sorts of posts on FB. It's in my opinion just attention seeking and it does come across smug and insensitive considering the current circumstances. Think about your motives for posting, honestly. You were wanting people to ask why so you could tell them or you were wanting people to comment to boost your ego. You didn't get the response you wanted because many people are up shit creek financially, emotionally, with their health and the health of their families.

MrsGrindah · 09/01/2021 15:36

What kind of responses did you expect to get though? Surely you can see how insensitive and unnecessary it was? If someone had responded along the lines of “ I’m really pleased for you “ what difference would that have made anyway?

MrsGrindah · 09/01/2021 15:37

And now you are probably not going to like the responses on here either!

Strokethefurrywall · 09/01/2021 15:38

Smug and absolutely tone deaf. Facebook seems to turn ordinary folk into self absorbed dickheads.

What validation do you need from Facebook that you can't get from your own realization? Your happy, that's great! But there is zero reason to post on Facebook - it's one thing to post that you're happy about an achievement or because you're enjoying spending time with your family, quite another to post a statement because you've benefitted from misery that millions of others are experiencing.

I've benefitted from COVID, but thankfully have the good sense of humility to understand that where I'm benefitting, many many others are in dire straits.

Check your privilege.

Summerdayshaze · 09/01/2021 15:40

Why on earth did you feel the need to do that? It achieves nothing and benefits nobody. Unbelievable.

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