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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was oversensitive?

81 replies

LemonSherbetFancies · 09/01/2021 15:00

I do feel pretty happy right now. Mainly because I have a great relationship with my DP, we have all bonded more as a family, he has kept his job and it's done better than ever business wise and we have (God willing) all stayed healthy.
Of course we miss all our social events and seeing all our friends and extended family but we do feel happy. I put a post on FB saying yesterday night saying "Feeling very happy." and got a few nasty responses asking how could I be when the economy is in ruins, people are dying and kids education is being wrecked.
Aibu to say that it really is something when people are criticised for trying to make the best of a bad situation?

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 09/01/2021 17:18

Yeah, you've had your arse handed to you for doing that awful Facebook attention seeking thing that everyone hates.

Bookworming · 09/01/2021 17:19

You were very insensitive!

IEat · 09/01/2021 17:21

You have the right to happy, just need to be aware that some people are extremely sensitive to any little thing that isn’t COVID doom

HunterHearstHelmsley · 09/01/2021 17:22

I have a friend who posted "ooh it feels like Christmas Eve!" when we went into the November/December lockdown. Tbh, I think she's a fucking idiot now. She used to be my hairdresser (until then). I suspect she will lose a lot of clients because of things like that (and boasting about buying a new car with the SE grant). Its so tone deaf.

Hawkins001 · 09/01/2021 17:29

One question to all of Mumsnet, would there ever be a time when such a post could be posted ? Because it could be debated that in any period of time, there are always various issues happening in the world ?

EagleFlight · 09/01/2021 17:32

@Hawkins001

One question to all of Mumsnet, would there ever be a time when such a post could be posted ? Because it could be debated that in any period of time, there are always various issues happening in the world ?
There are various days of national celebration (eg one of the queen’s jubilees etc) when it might be more appropriate even if not everyone would agree. Or else the post could have had some context.
Butchyrestingface · 09/01/2021 17:32

@Hawkins001

One question to all of Mumsnet, would there ever be a time when such a post could be posted ? Because it could be debated that in any period of time, there are always various issues happening in the world ?
No, because without context, it is tedious, attention-seeking bollox.
haloalkane · 09/01/2021 17:34

No I don't think so. Unless you are a teenager.

GoldenOmber · 09/01/2021 17:37

@Butterymuffin

Aibu to say that it really is something when people are criticised for trying to make the best of a bad situation

But that's not what you were doing - for you it's a good situation, your partner's business is doing really well, you've had more family time etc. You didn't mention any downsides or making the best of things. So I'm afraid then it does just come across as a bit 'I'm all right Jack'.

Agreed with this.

OP I believe the correct etiquette for telling people how wonderful you're finding life at a time when other people aren't is to wrap it up with "so grateful/blessed/lucky" Wink

Butchyrestingface · 09/01/2021 17:40

OP I believe the correct etiquette for telling people how wonderful you're finding life at a time when other people aren't is to wrap it up with "so grateful/blessed/lucky" wink

You forgot #MakingMemories. Smile

PhatPhanny · 09/01/2021 17:41

If your post is written like this one here, then yes, YABU.

Because it sounds like your gloating, and sticking 2 fingers to those less fortunate.

LubaLuca · 09/01/2021 17:42

@Hawkins001

One question to all of Mumsnet, would there ever be a time when such a post could be posted ? Because it could be debated that in any period of time, there are always various issues happening in the world ?
Any time is fine, with a brief summary of the cause of the happiness/sadness/trip to A&E. It's the 'go on, ask me, I know you want to' spirit of that type of thing that makes it unacceptable.
whoamitojudge · 09/01/2021 17:42

You could have worded it better.

GoldenOmber · 09/01/2021 17:44

@Butchyrestingface

OP I believe the correct etiquette for telling people how wonderful you're finding life at a time when other people aren't is to wrap it up with "so grateful/blessed/lucky" wink

You forgot #MakingMemories. Smile

OH GOD. "With our little family
Hawkins001 · 09/01/2021 17:45

After reading a couple of replys to my post I understand better and realise the context is key, although on the flip side a question all, would or what type of comments would inspire others that even when there are issues, how best to phrase our apprication for different things in a way that may also give some encouragement and positivity to others when they read eg friends comments ect ?

Daphnise · 09/01/2021 17:46

There's nothing wrong with feeling happy.

But smugly broadcasting it on FB will almost certainly irritate more people than it will please.

StElsewhere · 09/01/2021 17:47

@Hawkins001

One question to all of Mumsnet, would there ever be a time when such a post could be posted ? Because it could be debated that in any period of time, there are always various issues happening in the world ?
No, there's no time a self-congratulatory navel-gazing post like this goes down well with the majority of people.

The best you could say is that in other times folk would be more likely to just scroll on past or unfollow someone, whereas now they're more likely to snap in annoyance and post something critical in reply.

MrsGrindah · 09/01/2021 17:48

@Hawkins001 I don’t think that’s really the point of this thread though. Who,knows whether tales of happiness , even with context , truly inspires others? But that’s not the issue here. The OP is asking whether people over reacted to her message and we are all explains why it was the OP who was insensitive.

Anyway, I’m off to live , laugh and love now.

Littlefluffyclouds13 · 09/01/2021 17:51

Eurgh I hate those sort of Facebook posts. I'm very happy but wouldn't dream of announcing it on social media. Are you 12 op?

Hawkins001 · 09/01/2021 17:58

Mrs I understand your perspective, however I thought this be best thread too ask, as if i started a new thread with that comment it would most likely get little traffic, so as a small side note , I thought I'd ask here.

maryberryslayers · 09/01/2021 18:11

@HighSpecWhistle

YANBU to feel very happy.

But why put it on Facebook? It's not of those status' that either screams "ask me why" or seems like it's forced. No need to plot all your emotions on Facebook. And now is also probably not a great time given 1000+ people are dying daily from Covid.

Y
956806416ak · 09/01/2021 18:14

I don't think I would have said it as so many are really struggling. There's no right or wrong answer and it's great you're doing well, but if you're going to say it at a time like this, I would think you're over sensitive to have a problem with someone feeling it's not the time to yell it from your roof tops. Many people are grieving and worried.

956806416ak · 09/01/2021 18:15

But I wouldn't for a second think you meant it maliciously. It was just a little self involved.

mam0918 · 09/01/2021 18:45

who care, not everything is Covid etc... if my friend post 'feeling happy' I assume they had a good day or got good news.

Mybe a family member was declared cancer free or they just discovered they are going to be an aunt (and where told to keep shhh) or maybe their hair just looks good and they dont feel like shit.

They dont have to justify it and may just be using it as a record of having a good day (which is helpful for your mental health to keep).

mam0918 · 09/01/2021 18:47

@956806416ak

I don't think I would have said it as so many are really struggling. There's no right or wrong answer and it's great you're doing well, but if you're going to say it at a time like this, I would think you're over sensitive to have a problem with someone feeling it's not the time to yell it from your roof tops. Many people are grieving and worried.
somebody could get married the same time someone else buries their mother... the two are not exclusive, someone elses grief/sadness has no right to take away from your happiness, facebook is a general medium not a personal message and its not ok to attack what someone writes on their personal page for themselves.