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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to say something to neighbour (Parking thread)

78 replies

ColdandFrosty1 · 09/01/2021 13:18

Red house is my neighbours house and black is mine. Our parking spacea are number 3 and the other spaces belong to others

So I really dont want to say anything to my neighbour as we've both only just moved in to our respective houses but where he is parking his car is really starting to become a nuisance!

His house is at a right angle to mine and we both have 3 parking spaces infront of our houses, 1 which belong to us and 2 which are rented out to other people. However hes parking his car on the side of his house which is making it really difficult for me to reverse or even drive foward into my parking space without nearly hitting another car, bearing in mind I also have parking camera's but its still so hard!

I work long shifts and when I come back at night its dark which makes it harder to park and its also alot of noise and lights trying to park which could wake the other neighbours.

He's seen me struggle to park a few times now and not done anything or said anything to help the situation. I'm not a very confrontational person and want to be on good terms with my neighbours.

YNBU: Say something and ask if he can park in his own space

YABU: Ignore him and let him park where he wants.

WIBU to say something to neighbour (Parking thread)

OP posts:

DDiva · 09/01/2021 13:24

Hes being very unreasonable. But I'm afraid you're just going to have to say something.

Original poster

ColdandFrosty1 · 09/01/2021 13:26

@DDiva

Hes being very unreasonable. But I'm afraid you're just going to have to say something.

I knew I was going to have to I'm just one of those really scardey people. I have slight social anxiety as well and just generally get nervous around others! Maybe if I go round and introduce myself first it may help?

OP posts:

Cherrysoup · 09/01/2021 13:27

Id ask him to move. Why is he parking there and not in his space?

ParlezVousWronglais · 09/01/2021 13:28

I despise thoughtless people like this. YANBU but you are going to have to say something.

I wouldn’t worry about damaging the relationship because if he reacts badly to you saying something perfectly reasonable that shows he’s a dick anyway.

Original poster

ColdandFrosty1 · 09/01/2021 13:29

@Cherrysoup

Id ask him to move. Why is he parking there and not in his space?

I have no idea! I think because its so close to his front door? But mine is too and we would have known that when buying x

OP posts:

Original poster

ColdandFrosty1 · 09/01/2021 13:30

@ParlezVousWronglais

I despise thoughtless people like this. YANBU but you are going to have to say something.

I wouldn’t worry about damaging the relationship because if he reacts badly to you saying something perfectly reasonable that shows he’s a dick anyway.

I understand if he didn't realise it was an issue but I think its the fact hes seen me struggling a few times now that leads me to want to say something

OP posts:

Orlania · 09/01/2021 13:31

Tell him that you're not a very good driver and you wouldn't like to hit his car. And it's likely you will. Whilst smiling sweetly.

middleeasternpromise · 09/01/2021 13:32

Is where he is parking an actual parking space? If so is it a free allocation or does it belong to another property ? If its free could you not park there also?

WorraLiberty · 09/01/2021 13:32

My goodness, it's a very simple case of "Hi Dave, do you think you could parking your space please, as unfortunately it's making it difficult for me? Thanks"

I do think a lot of Mumsnetters (by no means just you OP), don't actually understand what the word 'confrontation' really means.

This is just basic, adult communication.

WorraLiberty · 09/01/2021 13:32

Park in

DroppedIt · 09/01/2021 13:35

I would mention it and if it carried on then start parking in his space.

notinthiseconomy · 09/01/2021 13:36

Park in his space.

Original poster

ColdandFrosty1 · 09/01/2021 13:37

Its not an actual parking space no but theres nothing to say don't park there! Problem is his car is always there when I'm leaving and arriving which is either early morning or night. Plus my space is alot closer to my door and with a toddler and shopping etc id ratner be in my own space

OP posts:

Original poster

ColdandFrosty1 · 09/01/2021 13:38

@WorraLiberty

My goodness, it's a very simple case of "Hi Dave, do you think you could parking your space please, as unfortunately it's making it difficult for me? Thanks"

I do think a lot of Mumsnetters (by no means just you OP), don't actually understand what the word 'confrontation' really means.

This is just basic, adult communication.

I get that but I'm painfully shy and awkward with people I don't know and have a small obsession with making sure I haven't upset anyone

OP posts:

DecemberSun · 09/01/2021 13:39

Nice diagram, OP. YANBU.

Sparklingbrook · 09/01/2021 13:40

I would ask him, say you are worried about damaging his car. I get that it's awkward but nothing will change otherwise.

Winterwoollies · 09/01/2021 13:43

You’re worried about not upsetting anyone OP, but he’s upsetting you.

You have to say something. Or, fuck it, just out a note through his door to start.

Winterwoollies · 09/01/2021 13:44

Put

Chamomileteaplease · 09/01/2021 13:45

I get that but I'm painfully shy and awkward with people I don't know and have a small obsession with making sure I haven't upset anyone sad

OK OP think of this as the start of a new chapter in your life .

With the help of Mumsnet, you are going to ask this man to not put his car there. As a PP said, this is not a confrontation, this is normal adult communication

You are being perfectly reasonable. Keep telling yourself this. You will not be upsetting anyone.

Psych yourself up, have your line ready, and go and see him. You only need one sentence. Don't blabber and fuss. One short sentence. (After introducing yourself if you haven't already )

Some people behave like dicks until they are challenged and then just stop once asked.

If you must, get a friend to do it but think how proud you will be of yourself if you do it yourself .

TotorosFurryBehind · 09/01/2021 13:45

You need to talk to him OP. I know, I hate that sort of thing too. But this sort of cheeky fucker behaviour only escalates if you don't establish firm, clear boundaries.

You have my sympathy. Inconsiderate people like your neighbour are a blight on society.

KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 09/01/2021 13:47

If you're that worried post him a note when you're going out early. 'didn't want to knock and wake you as i'm on early shift today, would you mind parking your car in your space, I'm struggling to get mine in and out where yours is and really don't want to hit your car, thanks C&F number 2'

Personally I'd knock at 5am and tell him to move his car or I'll end up writing it off, but I'm not the shy retiring type

nicky7654 · 09/01/2021 13:49

Just 'accidently' scratch his car he will soon move it!

ParlezVousWronglais · 09/01/2021 13:52

@Orlania

Tell him that you're not a very good driver and you wouldn't like to hit his car. And it's likely you will. Whilst smiling sweetly.

Really good idea.

Just say look I’m really sorry but I’ve nearly clipped your car. I’m worried I’m going to hit it, could you please park in your space?

Just imagine we’re all there along side you when you go. We’re with you on this.

NewYearNewLockdown · 09/01/2021 13:52

@KarlKennedysDurianFruit

Personally I'd knock at 5am and tell him to move his car or I'll end up writing it off, but I'm not the shy retiring type

Yes, do this. Keep it light and polite.

ParlezVousWronglais · 09/01/2021 13:53

Yes the note is a good idea.

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