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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to say something to neighbour (Parking thread)

78 replies

ColdandFrosty1 · 09/01/2021 13:18

Red house is my neighbours house and black is mine. Our parking spacea are number 3 and the other spaces belong to others

So I really dont want to say anything to my neighbour as we've both only just moved in to our respective houses but where he is parking his car is really starting to become a nuisance!

His house is at a right angle to mine and we both have 3 parking spaces infront of our houses, 1 which belong to us and 2 which are rented out to other people. However hes parking his car on the side of his house which is making it really difficult for me to reverse or even drive foward into my parking space without nearly hitting another car, bearing in mind I also have parking camera's but its still so hard!

I work long shifts and when I come back at night its dark which makes it harder to park and its also alot of noise and lights trying to park which could wake the other neighbours.

He's seen me struggle to park a few times now and not done anything or said anything to help the situation. I'm not a very confrontational person and want to be on good terms with my neighbours.

YNBU: Say something and ask if he can park in his own space

YABU: Ignore him and let him park where he wants.

WIBU to say something to neighbour (Parking thread)

OP posts:

naomi81 · 09/01/2021 13:53

I would have been round to his house already and if he takes no notice just park where he is parking or park in one of his 3 spaces as he's block yours, I would just block him in till he gets the message!

Funnyface1 · 09/01/2021 13:55

Is his space free? If he says no to parking in it then you start using it and I'm sure he'll change his mind.

YouBoughtMeAWall · 09/01/2021 13:55

You need to say something now, right at the start before it becomes “his space”.

SusannahSophia · 09/01/2021 13:59

I’d be parking in his space number 3 as he’s blocking access to yours.

HyacynthBucket · 09/01/2021 14:01

Surely he cannot park there is he is blocking your access to your car and its space. That is just common sense as well as courtesy. You need to do something OP to intervene in this situation, otherwise it will become established that he parks there and if the issue is left, he will then insist that he can as he has done it all along. Need to act, sadly.

CakeRequired · 09/01/2021 14:09

Try talking to him first and point out that's not a space (since he seems to be blind and thinks it is).

If he won't, start getting him to move it everytime you want out or in. If he refuses, tell him you'll have to get it towed then as you can't get out and inform the police it's abandoned. He'll move it then.

If he's still an ass at this point, get someone you know who has a spare car, put it in your space when he's at home, but park it close enough to his that he cant open the doors. Then you park your car in his space, again close enough to block him in. Walk away and ignore any calls or knocks on the door from him when he wants to leave.

Hopefully though, he'll accept he'd being stupid after a chat and park sensibly. But where he is parking is stupid and really just opens him up for being blocked in.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 09/01/2021 14:12

If you have both only just moved in then it's the perfect time to say something before it is months down the line and he simply ignores any request cos its "never been an issue".

It's fair enough to not want to upset people but that is not the same as being a doormat/people pleaser and never asking for your own needs to be considered. He has a space, he should use it because if he is causing access issues for your space then it could be argued that he's parking illegally so big girl pants time, deep breath, tell him you need access to your space and he needs to park in his designated space.

Is it private space? Could you report to the council if he won't be reasonable?

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 09/01/2021 14:13

Could you feasibly say that he has blocked you in? If someone looked at it, would they believe that you cannot actually get your car out?

If you can get away with someone looking at it and agreeing that you've been blocked in then you can call the police and ask for help. They may come tow the car.

IheartJKR · 09/01/2021 14:13

KarlKennedysDurianFruit
If you're that worried post him a note when you're going out early. 'didn't want to knock and wake you as i'm on early shift today, would you mind parking your car in your space, I'm struggling to get mine in and out where yours is and really don't want to hit your car, thanks C&F number 2'

I’d try this first but then I would be more forceful. You need to nip it in the bud now

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 09/01/2021 14:15

Or, every single time he does it, you need to go and knock this door and tell him to move. Leave your car sitting infront of spaces 1 and 2, ready to drive in, and chap his door. It doesnt matter it it is middle of the day or 1am in the morning. Tell him to move his car.

MaggieFS · 09/01/2021 14:16

Just talk to him! No excuses, pretence about perhaps scratching his car or anything else! Just say you are not able to get into your space so please could he park in his space.

Failing that, is it a new build estate? Any rules on not being allowed to park on roads? Might it block emergency access? Could you ask the council for double yellow lines?

pictish · 09/01/2021 14:16

Yes don’t allow it to become ‘his space’ - tell him now that it’s inconveniencing you and ask him to please not park there as it’s not a space.

MatildaTheCat · 09/01/2021 14:16

You are assuming this will be a difficult conversation. It really doesn’t have to be. You ask him very nicely if he could please park in one of his spaces because you are struggling to get past hi, especially in the dark and wouldn’t want to damage either car.

The vast majority of people will be fine with this. On MN you hear about the small minority who start some sort of minor war but they really are the rare ones.

We had to ask some neighbours to reduce their noise in the garden and they were very apologetic and now we are quite friendly with them.

A bottle of wine as a welcome gift might ease it along.

warmandtoasty2day · 09/01/2021 14:24

@Orlania

Tell him that you're not a very good driver and you wouldn't like to hit his car. And it's likely you will. Whilst smiling sweetly.

if he's a knob he will hear this as a bloody stupid woman who can't drive properly, no need to smile sweetly, politeness ime works 95% of the time

warmandtoasty2day · 09/01/2021 14:25

also if someone said they might scratch my car that would get my back right up.

Russellbrandshair · 09/01/2021 14:33

@Orlania

Tell him that you're not a very good driver and you wouldn't like to hit his car. And it's likely you will. Whilst smiling sweetly.

This.

Then I wouldnt be too careful about not hitting it.

Entirely his own fault for not parking in the spaces he has.

Original poster

ColdandFrosty1 · 09/01/2021 14:36

@WhereverIGoddamnLike

Could you feasibly say that he has blocked you in? If someone looked at it, would they believe that you cannot actually get your car out?

If you can get away with someone looking at it and agreeing that you've been blocked in then you can call the police and ask for help. They may come tow the car.

He's not obviously blocked me in as in he's parking across ny driveway but I have a big car and I can't park in my space sometimes without risking clipping the car next to me or knocking his while reversing.

Thank you so much to everyone that has offered their support! Next time i see him or bump into him "randomly" I might go up to him and just mention it politely. I may wait until my mum is here though so she can hide inside and give me moral support!

I hate that I'm one of those people that is too shy or too much of a people pleaser as its easy to take advantage of :(

OP posts:

Original poster

ColdandFrosty1 · 09/01/2021 14:39

@MaggieFS

Just talk to him! No excuses, pretence about perhaps scratching his car or anything else! Just say you are not able to get into your space so please could he park in his space.

Failing that, is it a new build estate? Any rules on not being allowed to park on roads? Might it block emergency access? Could you ask the council for double yellow lines?

It is a sort of new build estate but our group of houses is a little gravelled courtyard so no pavements or double yellows or anything like that!

OP posts:

doodleZ1 · 09/01/2021 14:44

Is the place where he parks not your reversing space? The same as space 2 which has reversing space? Which was why it was left clear when the houses were built, for reversing space. It would annoy the life out of me and the idiot isnt thinking at all. It's either you tell him it's a space for your car to reverse same as everyone else has a reversing space or you park behind him and block him and other cars in. The world is full of selfish idiots like him. Anyone with sense would know he's inconveniencing you

VettiyaIruken · 09/01/2021 14:48

Make it a problem to him by knocking on his door every time, asking him to move.
While it's only a problem for you, he lacks motivation.
If he's getting disturbed morning and night he may be more inclined to park in his actual spot.

That's if asking him to not park there doesn't work of course

Shamoo · 09/01/2021 14:53

Don’t tell him you are a bad driver - why take on any of the responsibility for him being unreasonable?! If anything then happens to his car he will blame you.

Personally, I would put a note through his letter box as step 1. If then continues, knock on the door and ask him to move. If that continues, park behind him and block him in each time (if you can do that without blocking others).

Also, check whether there is anything in your purchase terms on this. When we bought a new build there was a covenant that meant nobody is allowed to park in any shared space that isn’t an official parking space - which made the discussions with our neighbours much easier.

EmmaWithTheGreatHair · 09/01/2021 14:55

He’s aware it’s an issue if he seen you struggling.

With this in mind I’d say something along the lines of “you’ve probably seen me struggling trying to park, unfortunately because you’re not parking in your space it’s making parking very tricky, I’m also worried I’m going to end up damaging your car, is there a reason why you can’t park in your allocated space rather than the reversing space?”

Or similar

2bazookas · 09/01/2021 15:01

Say it now; the longer you leave it the harder it will be to break his habit.

doodleZ1 · 09/01/2021 15:02

OP does he use his own designated parking space at all? Do they have 2 cars? Tough it's his issue not yours. It's your reversing space. I would check what you own if it's not a rented house. Why does he not use his own space?

Original poster

ColdandFrosty1 · 09/01/2021 15:04

@WhereverIGoddamnLike

Unfortunately spaces 1 and 2 belong to people from other houses!

OP posts:

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