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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this woman is really insensitive....

115 replies

itsgoodtobehome · 08/01/2021 07:50

So, before I start, I know the standard MN response about FB posts that annoy you is just to ignore, delete, defined etc, but humour me on this one.

One of the Mums at DS school has posted on FB 'I love homeschooling' (not ironically) and then followed if up with 'I don't understand why people don't.'

How fucking insensitive is that? Oh, I should also add that she works PT and her DH doesn't work at all.

Clearly has no thought about all those families with 2 FT working parents, single-parent families, key worker families that feel guilty for sending their kids to a school that's meant to be closed etc etc.

I feel like putting all, of that on her post, but it's probably not worth the aggro.

So, Yes: IABU as I shouldn't get wound up by idiots on FB
No: IANBU: the post was really insensitive and the woman is an idiot

OP posts:

inappropriateraspberry · 08/01/2021 11:46

It's her opinion and experience. It doesn't mean other's opinion are less valid. She stated herself she doesn't understand those that don't enjoy it. So she can't understand people have different circumstances etc. That's her problem and as ok g as her children are doing their work, it makes no difference to you or anyone else if she lives or hates it.
Personally, I enjoy it. I have a very keen and willing 5 year old who asks for extra work. But I am a SAHM with the time to sit with her and help her. I know others can't all do this and have to also work, school more children etc. Doesn't stop me enjoying it though.

littlepattilou · 08/01/2021 13:35

@Ivy455

Reminds me of a lady on my fb "It's disgusting seeing all these parents moaning that they wish their kids were back at school!! Why have kids if you don't want to spend time with them??" Shut up. Not everyone finds parenting or homeschooling easy.

Well exactly. I used to LOVE having my DD at home, and as I worked part time for much of her childhood, I loved the holidays when I was off (days I wasn't at work or holiday leave,) coz we could do loads of stuff together and go on lovely day trips. Sometimes just us 2, and sometimes me and her and DH.

But THIS, that we are going through now, is totally different. You can't take them anywhere, as you're not allowed out (most of the time,) and also most places are shut! Also, you're having to home-school them, which I would really struggle with to be honest. That has got to be so hard and so stressful for many. Especially parents who aren't hugely academic, or who struggle with literacy and numeracy.

And it's like 'when does it end?' At least with school holidays, you'd know when they were back, and there would be proper structure. Everything is all over the place, and no-one knows where they are!

And I can't imagine how hard it must be for those who are working from home, and having to home-school. FFS how does anyone even begin to cope with that?!

IntermittentParps · 08/01/2021 13:46

It's her opinion and experience. It doesn't mean other's opinion are less valid. She stated herself she doesn't understand those that don't enjoy it. So she can't understand people have different circumstances etc. That's her problem and as ok g as her children are doing their work, it makes no difference to you or anyone else if she lives or hates it.
It's not just her problem when she shares that she doesn't understand on social media. And, really, you'd have to either try quite hard, be dim or be a sociopath to genuinely not be able to understand why others might not have the same experience as you.

nevernotstruggling · 08/01/2021 13:53

That would really irk me as I can't hs as kw. All the fb posts boasting about what home schooling they had done made me really mardy last time around.

I've deactivated fb. I just don't care any more.

MotherExtraordinaire · 08/01/2021 14:29

Yabu.
I'm a lone parent and wfh whilst also educating my child FT again (I always supplement their education anyway as believe this is what being a parent is about, trying to give my child the best start possible when they're already up against it with additional needs).

I enjoy knowing where my child is truly at educationally and helping them to grow. But yes it's hard work and life is obviously easier when I don't have this thrown in.

Plenty of parents have excuses and justifications why they can't/won't home educate in the same way that people have justifications why they're exceptions to the covid rules. And tbh its all become noise from usually self centred individuals.

If you want to negatively impact on your child's education by not trying to make it work, then go ahead. But then don't bemoan that your child has underachieved or been failed in years to come, because ultimately that's on the parent.

But you deserve no more airtime bestowing how hard you have it than those who are covid rule exceptions!

The situation is what it is. Make the best of it. Stop moaning and complaining.

bristolone · 08/01/2021 15:28

Motherextrodanaire Plenty of parents have excuses and justifications why they can't/won't home educate in the same way that have justifications why they're exceptions to the covid rules. And tbh its all become noise from usually self centred individuals.

I think you're off the mark there.

People who don't enjoy it are still doing it.

I've got 3, one with SEN who needs a lot of support. The other two get jealous and play up. It isn't enjoyable. Doesn't mean I don't do it - I plug away everyday for hours and we do our best.

If I had only my academic child to home school, it would be fine but some of us have more than 1, some with SEN, some who play up and most parents are working. It's necessary but not ideal.

For someone to not understand why some people don't enjoy it shows a lack of emotional intelligence.

MotherExtraordinaire · 08/01/2021 18:32

@bristolone

I think you're off the mark there.

People who don't enjoy it are still doing it.

I've got 3, one with SEN who needs a lot of support. The other two get jealous and play up. It isn't enjoyable. Doesn't mean I don't do it - I plug away everyday for hours and we do our best.

If I had only my academic child to home school, it would be fine but some of us have more than 1, some with SEN, some who play up and most parents are working. It's necessary but not ideal.

For someone to not understand why some people don't enjoy it shows a lack of emotional intelligence.

It's nothing to do with EQ. It's about whether we need to continue to these moaners all of the time or not.

All that does is bring everyone down.

We can't change the situation. So surely making the best of what we do have is the best way to go?

bristolone · 08/01/2021 19:47

We're talking about someone here who is saying they don't understand why some people don't like it.

To say "I quite like it," is fine and good for you.

To say "I don't know why other people don't like it" shows a lack of empathy and emotional intelligence.

Most of us aren't moaning but cracking on. But many are struggling and comments like that make them feel worse.

MissMarpleDarling · 08/01/2021 20:14

I'm a single parent keyworker (partime I work mon to fri 9 till 3, so school hours) and love home schooling. Love them being home. Dislike my job atm though.

AcrobaticCardigan · 08/01/2021 22:03

Fine to say she enjoys home schooling, but not ok to say she doesn’t understand why others don’t... Er, because in most families both partners are homeschooling while trying to hold down full time jobs. Utter moron!

MattWanksock · 08/01/2021 22:19

I hate social media because it's all bollocks. I never post anything of note but I love a good meme.

We have a Facebook group and there is a chat going on at the minute for the week. Strangely the people struggling are SAHMs but they do have two or more children which I think changes things completely. Myself and one other have posted how we think the school have done it excellently this time round and are getting on well with it. Sometimes it's a bit stressful but overall happy with it. After I posted I was so nervous that I'd appeared goady or competitive when others have said they struggled. I'm just so proud of how my baby has taken to it this week. I think some people don't mean to come across in such a way but the tone is lost online. Others are absolute dicks tho.

CakeRequired · 08/01/2021 22:28

Of course she enjoys it. She works part time, half the week it isn't her doing it.

That's like saying you love cleaning while you hire a cleaner.

She's an idiot.

Figgyboa · 08/01/2021 22:38

Insensitive, no.

Daphnise · 08/01/2021 22:40

Rather than getting annoyed about a FB post, I'm sure that very poster would suggest you spend less time on FB and that would leave you more time to enjoy home schooling.

2bazookas · 08/01/2021 23:12

You're being insensitive by rejecting her right to her own opinion.

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