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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give the f*** up?!?!

106 replies

Gingerinthegarden · 07/01/2021 17:50

NC as outing details

I’m beyond fed up. In lockdown with a baby, a medic DH and am pregnant with number 2 so tired and struggling with back/hip pain. Writing this locked in downstairs loo having a cry whilst DC screams at DH who keeps knocking on the door asking if I’m almost done!

Everything is going wrong. We moved into this house in feb. It needed lots of work doing but very little got done as just couldn’t get workmen in post covid. No availability.

Since Christmas we’ve got 2 shower rooms both broken/unusable and 2 fridge freezers broken losing all our food. (Second was a temporary measure until first could get sorted as integrated and non available online).

Neither is a easy fix. Getting workmen out is like pulling teeth. 15 phone calls to be told everyone is booked up for months. Tried listing on my builder/check a trade, NOTHING!
Finally get someone out, they make it worse, then say we need a much bigger job doing to rectify it as it’s a ‘bigger problem’ all of which is crazy expensive and they don’t have any availability to do for months!

I cry most days. I’m sick of project managing and getting nowhere! I’m sick of having to wash using a cup in a bath tub I can’t even fill the bath tub as the bath taps don’t work. Have to use the sink taps to fill the cup FFS!

We’re staring down the barrel of about £5k of expenses which would have been half that had we been able to get the work done over summer like we planned! Instead stuff has broken/flooded and caused damage because it was left.

I’m just sick of it. Feel like we are swimming through treacle!

OP posts:
Brinksmanship · 07/01/2021 22:10

She should go to the police if she has been raped.

And she should get an std check, especially so since she is pregnant and that could harm her baby.

Op I am so sorry you are going through this.

You don’t need to go through this alone. Rape crisis can help and if it was your husband, then women’s aid can help.

Don’t worry about the fridge freezer or the shower. Just get out and keep safe for you and your babies x

Peachered · 07/01/2021 22:14

@Brinksmanship have you actually read the thread?

Have you seen a mentioned rape as a possibility of why OPs wisdom may have had nothing to do with her pregnancy, one of many possibilities.

Sorry for the derail there OP, those comments really grated me.

Brinksmanship · 07/01/2021 22:17

Yes and you said it - and I said I was assuming you knew her.

It’s clear there’s a massive backstory with the op name changing and since rape was suggested I said she should go to the police and get an std check.

It’s shocking if she’s in this terrible a situation and can’t seek help under her usual name and is being kept in a terrible situation by an abusive man who took her away from support. It doesn’t seem like she wanted to move.

Sorry if you’re in this situation op. Do reach out for help. And don’t be afraid. Xxx

cherrycola742 · 07/01/2021 22:20

I know an excellent, reasonably priced plumber OP. DM me if you'd like details.

Peachered · 07/01/2021 22:20

"There are several reasons outside of the OPs wisdom that may have occurred, rape, contraception failure, IVF timings when there were mass cancellations, partner or OP with a critical illness that required treatment that would lead to infertility..."

What I said. Critical words may have occurred - IT WAS IN RESPONSE TO THE OP BEING JUDGED FOR BEING PREGNANT AND ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT HER WISDOM OF TIMINGS OF THE PREGNANCY.

Can you not understand that I was asking people to refrain from any more of those posts, because we don't know the situation and the OP is already struggling.

bloodyhairy · 07/01/2021 22:21

Och, you poor love Thanks
Hope things look up soon x

truetuesdays · 07/01/2021 22:27

I really feel for you it is horrible living in a house which needs so much doing and no means of doing it. It gets you down so much.

Just try and get one room as nice as possible (bedroom?) so you can retreat there.

Have you invested a lot in the property already? If not then I would seriously consider selling up and getting somewhere easier.

AndcalloffChristmas · 07/01/2021 22:31

Christ this thread took a turn towards the end! Rape crisis centres on a thread about broken showers and freezers...

OP, can you get a hose extension thing and adaptors to run from the sink to the bath? That’s how I fill up the paddling pool - to get warm water in it I mean. Not ideal but a step up from a tea cup as a stop gap.

I’ll leave the longer term fixes to the more sensible pps who’ve posted about them.

m0therofdragons · 07/01/2021 22:35

@AndcalloffChristmas just what I was about to say. In know we’re in lockdown but is there a high proportion of mnetters who are drunk tonight? Seriously, what a turn! Shock

Op, take it all a day at a time and it’ll all come together. It always does.

Peachered · 07/01/2021 22:36

@m0therofdragons apologies for my part in that, and to the OP too.

arethereanyleftatall · 07/01/2021 22:37

It wasn't exactly your fault @Peachered !

DressingGownofDoom · 07/01/2021 22:38

OP is going to come back to this thread thinking she's going to get more suggestions about her broken fridge and be very surprised to discover she's been raped by someone who may or may not be her husband Confused

Peachered · 07/01/2021 22:38

@arethereanyleftatall I should have been a grown up and ignored the comments... that's the apology!

Cakequeen1988 · 07/01/2021 22:40

Are you in an area where the scrap metal man comes round?

Where I live if you left a broken fridge freezer outside your house I would be gone in an hour!

TaVeryMuchLove · 07/01/2021 22:41

@popNlock

Middle of a pandemic probably wasn't the best time for pregnancy when already have a baby and a husband working on front line after just moving into a new house. You certainly didn't make is easy on yourself that's for sure. I do feel for you though. It's a tough tough year.
Eurgh. Hope you feel better for getting that off your chest.

Jeez, they’re all out today! Hope things improve soon OP Flowers

AndcalloffChristmas · 07/01/2021 22:57

@DressingGownofDoom that made me laugh out loud!

Justfivemoreminutesplease · 07/01/2021 22:57

@DressingGownofDoom

OP is going to come back to this thread thinking she's going to get more suggestions about her broken fridge and be very surprised to discover she's been raped by someone who may or may not be her husband Confused
Sorry but it’s been a hard day and that made me chuckle....
Cleverpolly3 · 07/01/2021 23:01

Not often I’m lost for words
What happened here ?

liverpool1981 · 07/01/2021 23:04

@DressingGownofDoom

OP is going to come back to this thread thinking she's going to get more suggestions about her broken fridge and be very surprised to discover she's been raped by someone who may or may not be her husband Confused
Omg pmsl
Nousernamesleftatall · 07/01/2021 23:07

Gosh this thread took a very strange turn.

Hope you get things sorted soon op.

popNlock · 07/01/2021 23:13

Eurgh. Hope you feel better for getting that off your chest
I feel neither better nor worse.

Gosh this thread took a very strange turn
Indeed.After seeing the posts about rape I had to check I was on the right thread..twice.

Weirdfan · 08/01/2021 02:09

I read page 1 and then skipped to the last page, wondered how on earth we'd gone from freezers to rape, that'll teach me to rtft Shock Hope you find some of the sensible advice useful OP, sorry your thread has had such a weird derail Confused

Sinful8 · 08/01/2021 04:32

@DressingGownofDoom

OP is going to come back to this thread thinking she's going to get more suggestions about her broken fridge and be very surprised to discover she's been raped by someone who may or may not be her husband Confused
Starting on page 4 made this thread kuch more interesting
MerryDecembermas · 08/01/2021 05:47

You could try finding an independent interior designer who includes Project Management and sourcing the labour on the project. Especially since it sounds like you're trying to change the bathrooms rather than simply replace like for like.

I found a local one on Houzz. In the end our shoestring budget was prohibitive but only because I was prepared to wait longer / do more DIY.

LillyFlower1984 · 08/01/2021 06:06

I wouldn’t come on mn and mention I have a medic dh, everyone assumes you are minted yet he could easily be a junior dr and not on a huge amount as often gets purported in the press!