To give the f*** up?!?!

[Gingerinthegarden]

NC as outing details

I’m beyond fed up. In lockdown with a baby, a medic DH and am pregnant with number 2 so tired and struggling with back/hip pain. Writing this locked in downstairs loo having a cry whilst DC screams at DH who keeps knocking on the door asking if I’m almost done!

Everything is going wrong. We moved into this house in feb. It needed lots of work doing but very little got done as just couldn’t get workmen in post covid. No availability.

Since Christmas we’ve got 2 shower rooms both broken/unusable and 2 fridge freezers broken losing all our food. (Second was a temporary measure until first could get sorted as integrated and non available online).

Neither is a easy fix. Getting workmen out is like pulling teeth. 15 phone calls to be told everyone is booked up for months. Tried listing on my builder/check a trade, NOTHING!
Finally get someone out, they make it worse, then say we need a much bigger job doing to rectify it as it’s a ‘bigger problem’ all of which is crazy expensive and they don’t have any availability to do for months!

I cry most days. I’m sick of project managing and getting nowhere! I’m sick of having to wash using a cup in a bath tub I can’t even fill the bath tub as the bath taps don’t work. Have to use the sink taps to fill the cup FFS!

We’re staring down the barrel of about £5k of expenses which would have been half that had we been able to get the work done over summer like we planned! Instead stuff has broken/flooded and caused damage because it was left.

I’m just sick of it. Feel like we are swimming through treacle!

@MatildaTheCat

If you happen to be near London try Pimlico Plumbers. They are expensive but have fixed a fridge freezer and when that wasn’t a goer they ordered a suitable replacement and fitted it. Have also sorted out many other plumbing issues very efficiently.

If it’s just a question of cost then borrow if possible. It’s an emergency.

I don't agree. We used Pimilco for a good few years because they turned up in good time and fixed things. However after being charged more for an appliance repair than a brand new one would have cost I wasn't amused. The guy decided to go off on a tour of London to find a small part which could easily have been purchased locally and added hours of time to the bill.

They use the cheapest parts and add a huge markup which is fine if you expect and accept it but many of the fixes are short term. I have the cheapest and crappiest shower part, plastic covered in shiny paint when I asked for metal and jobs done have been patch ups rather than what we asked for.

No more Pimlico for us. You don't get what you pay for, unfortunately.

@Icanseegreenshoots

Make one room absolutely beautiful, candles, flowers and calm, and spend as much time there as possible.

You may not be able to fix everything that needs doing overnight, but to have somewhere warm, clean and comfortable is an absolute must.

Very tough for you with a medic dh, pregnant with a little one. One day at a time and buy hot pads for your back - just stick them on and they work for 12 hours. They are amazing.

Sorry to be a prick but @Gingerinthegarden I don’t think you can sue those heat back pads when you’re pregnant

Sorry you’re having a shitty time.
The scrap men would take your broken appliances
Also get one room a bit nice and sorted live there
A tap shower mixer for your bath if it stretches ?

Sorry if this has all been suggested I’ve not rtft

Just googled heat pads seems I am wrong
My midwife told me not to with my third
If only I’d known!!!!

I’m midlands and just had some kitchen and bathroom work done by a lovely guy - reasonable prices, very tidy worker and doesn’t have much on in the next few weeks! If you say what sort of area you’re in I’m sure someone will know someone useful.

Make a hot water bottle.

Get paid help.

Oh I do feel your pain. It's taken me about 15 calls and finally, hopefully we will have new showers next week.

There is so much I would do if I could get tradespeople. I don't understand why there is such a scarcity. I'm strongly encouraging the dcs to consider plumbing as a career as they just will never be out of work.

Look on the bright side.. if he is a medic, he should be a good earner.
It is when one is single living in a crumbling Victorian house and the heating packs in with a £4K quote that it is hard..
boiling kettles to wash with..

Tiz dismal.

When I see new builds all cozy warm and in tip top order, I understand why people buy them.

Good Trades are like gold dust.. but they are out there.
Good luck.

I don’t have a freezer either, and walking back in the cold and dark now as ran out of bread that could have been frozen.

Good luck!

Possibly not written in the most sensitive way, but a lot of people are dealing with a lot of crap they didn’t chose at the moment. OP is suffering too, but with things that ultimately were decisions and will pay off (cheaper house needing work, children close together) in the end

There were a load of threads 6 months ago about the wisdom of pregnancy during a pandemic. I think if you’re pregnant at the moment, people knew roughly what they were letting themselves in for (if planned, of course) re Covid.

Maybe PopNlock hasn’t had a great week either

Thanks for the understanding MeanMrMustardSeed

viccytwiffy

popnlock - unbelievable. you are unbelievable.. shut up!
no,stranger from the internet. I'll carry on as I am thanks

Yeah I kind of agree with you too @popNlock.

Not the most sensible move. But it’s done now. So.

🤷🏼‍♀️

Just hope the op learns from this and is a bit more cautious about what load she can take on going forward.

So sorry, it sounds stressful.

Obviously if it's anything to do with electrics or boiler, don't touch at all - but for the tap/shower (if it's only the external water bits and has no electric bits going on) - we had a completely clapped out drainage pipe thing in a sink, and looked up videos online on how to fix it.

It took a few to find one that matched the make we had, and explained what bits and putty and tape and so on to use. We ordered them online and managed to sort it out, step by step. As long as you turn off the stopcock first, and only do something that is safe to try DIYing, then it might be worth a try on a weekend?

@Gingerinthegarden It sounds like you are having a very justifiably hard time.

I found the cheapest and quickest place to get a fridge and a chest freezer (we had similar issues, my then partner was also on the front line and we were both getting over horrendous Covid) was Amazon. I found that clicking the buy new from the additional sellers gave better guarantees and better prices.

You can also get a camping shower and hang it over a shower rail if you have - that should help with the shower situation. Is your DH showering at work, if so he may not realise how shit it all is (that's what happened with my ex - beautifully clean and fresh due to work showers whilst I was using a leaky bucket).

With builders, the prices are inflated at the moment - everyone wants work doing because we've all been living at home on top of each other - ask around on local facebook groups as theirs a lot of people who have been doing work on the side as tradies who are actually very good and are now trying to make it a full time living - this is how I had our work done BUT I always got multiple quotes as well.

Good luck and may things improve for you soon.

I was going to suggest the same as @DressingGownofDoom

They are useful but can make you scream. Make sure they are firmly attached to the taps, maybe use some Jubilee hose clips for peace of mind. They can come off and either scald or freeze you.

Hope you find a plumber soon.

Can the workmen at least not get your taps working so you can have a bath

If you still have hot water, buy a bucket and rechargeable camping shower like this:

www.amazon.co.uk/Portable-Electric-Rechargeable-Personal-Showering/dp/B071ZP143D/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&smid=A13EMLT5VD7PAU&psc=1&keywords=portable+shower+camping+rechargeable&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUFDV0s1RzVXWjkyUlYmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA1Nzg1NzYxMEZTRVNGV0hTWkszJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTAxNzA3NDMyNVNVWEVYVlBESUVMJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1610054738&sr=8-1-spons

We have one and it's very good, there are two settings high/low and even the low setting is fine - it will give you a proper shower, enough to wash your hair in easily, it's reasonably powerful. You turn it on once it's submerged in the bucket - it will last around five minutes (so two buckets might be nice !) - it feels like a decent shower.

I have done various bits of complicated DIY (including replacing bathroom floorboards, flooring, tiling and plumbing in taps and a toilet etc) just be watching youtube - it can be done (I have four children and work full time.....)

I kinda agree on questioning the wisdom of getting pregnant in a pandemic with a baby already and having work at home to manage. Obvs it's done now. But I don't think it's not on to ask why people have knowingly overburdened themselves. Maybe this is a pattern for op?

I kinda agree on questioning the wisdom of getting pregnant in a pandemic

There are several reasons outside of the OPs wisdom that may have occurred, rape, contraception failure, IVF timings when there were mass cancellations, partner or OP with a critical illness that required treatment that would lead to infertility...

@Peachered yep fair enough. But not all mumsnet posters who make bad decisions re pregnancy gas no choice. But it's a very mumsnet thing to push back against this. I wonder if this is because many other posters have themselves not made great choice because they just had to have another child.

I guess it's a situation we don't know, so we shouldn't question / judge / assume (and I am often at fault at doing this in many situations so that's no judgement on people who are).

It doesn't really make a difference to the OP's situation though that she's posting about now.

If the ops husband has raped her she needs to leave right now.

Come on OP, you can do this.
Order a new fridge freezer online before you go to bed tonight and ask them to take the old one away.

Choose one room to make as nice as you can. With one baby and another on the way I’d probably choose the bedroom. Make sure there’s a telly and lots of cushions on your bed for when you’re feeding. And a chocolate stash in your bedside table :)

@Brinksmanship may not have been her husband? See the possibilities are endless, which is why the judgement and assumption about the OPs wisdom needs to stop.

Regardless it really doesn't have anything to do with you if they did make a choice to have another baby at that time - lots of people have become pregnant throughout the pandemic.

Well if the op has been raped, she needs to go to the police and get an std check (I assume you know this poster since she has name changed)

she needs to go to the police

No she doesn't. And no she doesn't need to go and get an STD check either. She doesn't actually need to do anything after rape apart from what she wants to do - no woman does.

Oh my days. Think I will hide this thread - OP if you want the brand of our fridge and chest freezer let me know and I will look it out for you.