Just been shouted at in room full of people at work....

[Changednameforthispost111]

Name change as outing.

Am nhs professional 40+ (for context).

Male (? Relevant) manager just shouted at/berrated me in a public place in front of colleagues.

No justification for this. Related to a work activity which I had handed over to him as I was not in the next day which then hadn’t been followed up by him.

Feeling doubly crap. Firstly because it’s stressful enough anyway at the moment and I don’t need this on top of everything else and secondly because I responded like a total melt not a grown adult professional. Didn’t stand up for myself, stood there and took it. Ten minutes later thought of really good things I should have said.

Oh OP, that really sucks. As others have said, please don't feel doubly mortified for your response thinking you 'just stood there and took it', you actually responded perfectly by remaining calm and not sinking to his level and shouting / snapping back, and by not crying there and then! (I would definitely have been on the verge of it, and would more than certainly have had a little cry in the toilets but annoyingly I also get a bit tearful when I'm actually raging) as it's so hard not to cry in the moment as no two ways about it, that is unacceptable, and bullying.
Better by far to follow up perhaps tomorrow, with a complaint to HR. As you've indicated others (and more junior staff) have been on the receiving end, even more reason to raise this with HR, as it is never acceptable to shout at colleagues in this manner, even when stressed.

He’s a bully and it sounds like he’s already earned a reputation as such. People like him are full of themselves and don’t realise how ridiculous they come across. I speak from experience and am glad I no longer work with them.

Only place I've regularly been shouted at is in the NHS. As a patient by midwives, nurses and outpatient admin. Perhaps it's conduct the institution has normalised but they really don't like it when one says "who do you think you are speaking to". Probably because it's their normal modus operandi.

Only time it made me cry was about 8 hours after ds1 was born and I'd rolled off the protector pad and got blood on the sheets. I never knew I'd bleed that much and hadn't been told the pad was there and ds was still in scbu. It's commonplace to speak to patients like sh1t in the NHS and therefore I'm afraid I'm neither very shocked nor very sorry it happened.

And all over hospitals there are zero tolerance notices. When the boot is on the other foot the staff don't like being pulled up so a bit of me thinks you are being vvvu. OTH I suppose if you were all expected to be courteous to each other most of you might be more courteous to the patients.

Sorry op but I think this works both ways.

Shouting in a room- what a way to spread Covid if you are asymptomatic. Unacceptable whoever you are and whoever it is directed to.

Firstly I am sorry you have experienced this and hopefully the manager will apologise.

The best advice I've been given from a experience dnurse was in circumstances/situations that you are unhappy with - draft yourself an email with what happen and how you felt. The draft email is your record off events.

I hope you get the resolution you deserve and the respect off an apology.

@fonscylitte

Shouting in a room- what a way to spread Covid if you are asymptomatic. Unacceptable whoever you are and whoever it is directed to.

Is Private Eye doing a Covidballs section yet? It should be .

OP, at first I was tending towards the softer end of the response scale, owing to the amount of stress he is undoubtedly under, but now you've said it's happened to others too, I think that the HR route is certainly justified. I'm really sorry this happened, and I'll definitely join the "I would have cried" bench, so bloody well done to you!

I think your reaction sounds very professional actually. You should be proud of yourself for remaining calm. I would have probably fought fire with fire (not recommended) or worse, cried

@RosesAndHellebores generalising much?!!

I work in the NHS and can assure you i haven’t spoken to or shouted at anyone like that. Neither patients or colleagues.

"Sorry op but I think this works both ways."

I'm not sure I understand this; are you implying that it's somehow the OP's collective responsibility as an NHS employee for your poor treatment on the maternity ward, and therefore she doesn't have a leg to stand on by objecting, Roses? Because that's what it sounds like.

You responded perfectly.

By saying nothing, by not reacting to his shouting, you actually showed up his ranting all the more.

I can assure you that everyone would have been appalled by his behaviour. I observed a similar situation in my office once and the only person who came out of it looking bad was the manager who lost it. Very unprofessional.

You have nothing to be embarrassed about at all.

Also, yes others were present. Mainly junior members of staff who looked mortified, but it was not their place to speak up, nor would I expect them to.

well, frankly, it is their place. It is everyone's place to speak up when bullying happens. At the very least afterwards to HR or to a more senior person. That's the only way to stamp it out.

@DimidDavilby

Document it.

Email saying, when you aggressively shouted at me earlier you said XXXXX, xxxx, Xxxx etc. I would like to point out x, y and z.

Then you have documentation and you get to make your points. It's bullying and not acceptable in the workplace.

This and go up the chain and point out his unprofessional behaviour in a public place.

say nothing, wait
you'll get your chance OP......

OP Zhou are on my kind I hope you had a good resolution. I'm in my NHS job and have just given anonymous feedback about the tone one of the managers uses with staff . Everyone in work deserves respect.

I agree with ‘you chose to not react ‘
Which is smart
Get everything down in writing ✍️
And sleep on it

Fucking twat