Just been shouted at in room full of people at work....

[Changednameforthispost111]

Name change as outing.

Am nhs professional 40+ (for context).

Male (? Relevant) manager just shouted at/berrated me in a public place in front of colleagues.

No justification for this. Related to a work activity which I had handed over to him as I was not in the next day which then hadn’t been followed up by him.

Feeling doubly crap. Firstly because it’s stressful enough anyway at the moment and I don’t need this on top of everything else and secondly because I responded like a total melt not a grown adult professional. Didn’t stand up for myself, stood there and took it. Ten minutes later thought of really good things I should have said.

He was very unprofessional, you acted professionally in not rising to the bait.
Is this typical behaviour for him?
When (WHEN not if ) you make a formal complaint, if it is typical of his behaviour, mention this in the complaint - it doesn't sound as if he is fit to manage anyone.

not ok. I have a colleague who had a grievance upheld for similar unpleasant and unprofessional behaviour by a manager.

I think he should apologise and not just in a one-to-one meeting, either. You did very well to not respond to him. Hopefully some others will come forward now and report him as well.

If you are a NHS professional you will be a union member, yes?

This is what they are there for. Go to your union rep and let them support you on what to do next.

As a nurse. I would write a reflection for my revalidation about what you had done wrong or could have improved on, the handling of the situation by the manager, how it made you feel, how you feel it would managed better and how you would change your practice. Followed by a ive wrote a reflection on yesterday can you have a read and see what you think

I think l would pull him up and say you embarrassed everyone in the room the way you spoke to me today, and if you remember, l passed it over to you. Hopefully he will be big enough to apologise. Damage is done though.

Tell your manager it is going in your portfolio for your revalidation and watch him squirm

The one time I made a complaint at work was over this exact thing. It's humiliating and the sign of a shitty manager.

I’ve had one manager who was an utter arse and had I been older and wiser I would have gone to HR. Also NHS. Many people affected over the years. Document and take it further.

I think DimidDavidly is right, email as suggested and don’t let him minimise his behaviour.

Do we assume you and he are overstrained? There never is any justification for a bully. But if it was a one off explosion of a usually ok person, maybe you could be the better person by counting to ten before reporting him and consider if you could have a private word at a better time, see if he apologises first?

The reason I would hesitate is yes, normally he should be reported. But mid Covid19 if he is at breaking point, gets disciplined, and it cracks him into walking off, won't that leave the whole team short of a worker, albeit a not good one? My imagined ideal solution would be he publicly apologises at the next meeting, explaining that you had done nothing wrong, and even if you had, it would have been entirely wrong to mention it in public in the way he did.

A good unreserved apology (take lessons from Nicola Sturgeon)will not only soothe, it clears the air and does somehow put things right. It leaves him, and you, looking good. Going down the complaints route is certainly justified, but doesn't do as much to make you both look and feel better. (And, could cause mixed feelings among the others who witnessed it.)

Were any of your other colleagues there at the same time? Did nobody say anything or pull him up?

If not, why not? Did he have a valid point, but express it (incredibly) poorly?

There are always 2 sides.

Lots of good advice. As one reply pointed out he may be under pressure too. But I always remember what my union rep used to say - ' write everything down'.

Do you have a dignity at work policy, I would be quoting every clause he breached, in writing, requesting an apology and if he doesn’t take responsibility I would report it.

So sorry OP this has happened to me too (also NHS) and it sucks. I would be tempted to get him alone, explain that you are not happy and are going to complain to HR. Based on his reaction I would decide whether to actually do that. I’d he was genuinely contrite, I would be tempted to let it go one time. But I would also say that as it wasn’t a first time I was going to monitor the situation and see if other staff have similar issues. And obviously document it now whilst it’s fresh in your memory.

@DimidDavilby

Document it.

Email saying, when you aggressively shouted at me earlier you said XXXXX, xxxx, Xxxx etc. I would like to point out x, y and z.

Then you have documentation and you get to make your points. It's bullying and not acceptable in the workplace.

This. Very good advice.

Take it higher and encourage others to highlight this behaviour as well.

Are you okay?

20mum has a good point. Not acceptable, unprofessional .. Unless he approaches you and gives a heartfelt appolgy I would take some action .. But would sleep on it before deciding what.

... lots of people are really really struggling at the moment... Lots of stress, illness and death around.... It doesn't excuse it, it may explain it

I hope people don’t turn a blind eye to this. Personally I think it should be a sackable offence to act like that as it is misusing his power as a manager.

You deserve to be treated with respect in the workplace. If he had a problem he should have spoken to you quietly.

Sorry to read this- totally unprofessional of your manager, and is surely no way to gain genuine respect. Hope you’re okay, tomorrow is a new day but certainly don’t be put off taking it further if you want to!

I'm ashamed to say that I let rip at someone once. It was a justifiable anger, but an over-the-top ruction - I was excessively stressed and (quite literally) on the edge of a breakdown.

I felt ashamed of myself when I calmed down, and apologised - also publicly as I felt it was necessary in view of the fact I'd humiliated that person publicly.

I'd never done it before, nor since. I had a complete breakdown only a couple of weeks later and was unable to work for 8 months - not that that excuses it, as I should have recognised that I was becoming frayed long before it happened. However it doesn't sound like that is what has happened with your manager - I would do as others have advised - document and go to HR.

In these situations, no matter if the guy was in the right, wearing Jesus robes, or blessed with a saintly halo, everyone would know that this guy is an absolute disgrace.
Stupid silly man.

Didn’t stand up for myself, stood there and took it
you're not a 'melt', you didnt react or lash out, you kept your dignity in the face of another persons very bad behaviour
you controlled yourself
HE didnt!

Bullying is rife in the nhs. I'd speak to the the manager directly about the incident (either with a 3rd party present or not) and complete a reflection as a first port of call.

Document it with him.
Forward it to HR.
Name those that witnessed it.

This is NOT acceptable.

You can be sure he wouldn't behave like this towards his boss.

He has spoken to you like this because he thinks he can.

Put him right.

Do NOT accept this treatment.

Completely unacceptable.