To find people's duplicity towards key workers upsetting

[hibbledibble]

On one hand, it's 'clap for carers' and praising NHS staff as 'heroes'.

On the other hand, the amount of vitriol towards key workers who need childcare so they can do their jobs is shocking. In addition, the public that praises us, also ignores lockdown rules, causing even greater strain to the NHS.

I am a doctor, and I was redeployed during the first wave. It was horrific. I am still recovering now, and seeking treatment for PTSD. I have seen many of my colleagues become seriously unwell, and others have died.

We don't want claps (in fact, please don't) but decent, safe working conditions (including proper PPE), and sufficient childcare. I can't work from home, so my children (primary and preschool age) need to be cared for.

I admit I am taking this fairly personally as I have seen first hand the absolute horror that this virus has caused, and have been traumatised by it. My hospital is well over capacity, and people are dying waiting for ventilators.

@NoSleepInTheHeat

Definitely not, it was about the role he did and the value that he was adding every day before covid we had a 50:50 partnership. I didn't have a bad job the money was good and benefits too. I wouldn't have quit but you can't keep kids safe and work those hours.

My wage supported us for many years while he was training and on terrible money. My job was not insignificant.

I think people are missing the point . The reason schools are closed is because they are a vector for transmission , we need as few children in school as possible , the default should be the children are not in school, otherwise what’s the point of closing the schools.

And to the previous poster yes a fund manager is important, yes what they do may be essential for pensions but it is not essential to getting infection levels and hospitalisations down . That must be the single focus of everyone at the moment.

Furthermore investment management can be done at home and it is awful to have to do childcare at the same time but millions are doing it and so can the hypothetical fund manager .

@Backbee

What experience do you have of what was going in at the hospitals then and now? Did you live with the fear that your partner was going to bring home a huge viral load.

I think people are missing the point . The reason schools are closed is because they are a vector for transmission , we need as few children in school as possible , the default should be the children are not in school, otherwise what’s the point of closing the schools.

Why aren't nurseries closed?

[quote Moo678]@Bizawit

I think it’s a really difficult situation for everyone. I think there are a lot of jobs which can be done in evenings / weekends / short snatches of time while the toddler watches TV. Is it fair that parents have to do that - no - it’s crap.

I think it’s also crap that any parent should have their calls interrupted by a child. I occasionally try to do educational meetings or non-clinical stuff on my day off and it’s rubbish. But I think there is a difference between talking to a suicidal child, or a rape victim or someone who is about to be made homeless vs someone who is trying to process the return of something bought online or put together a new advertising campaign (just the first examples that came into my head). So I think if there have to be priorities made then those working in these sorts of roles should be prioritised not for the sake of the employee but for the sake of the patient / vulnerable person on the end of the zoom call.

I don’t mean to belittle the hardship of all the non-key workers who are juggling childcare and working from home. I was grateful to have the stability of my hospital job during the last lockdown even if it was the hardest year of my professional life.

I think we are in an untenable situation where there probably isn’t a right answer. There was a really good piece on newsnight the other night highlighting that following lockdown rules is a privilege that many families can’t afford. I sympathise with those in this situation. But it’s hard when I am classed (and fairly so) as a keyworker not to feel judged by the things you read on here. I don’t need my personal sacrifice or the risk I take to be recognised - we are all making sacrifices at the moment but it’s hard not to feel judged by many of the comments made. I probably should not come on threads like this.[/quote]
@Moo678 thanks for clarifying. I get where you are coming from and totally agree. I think maybe I could overreacted to your comment as I’m so sick of everyone judging everyone else for wanting / needing / asking for really basic things -that will all used to take for granted- like some bloody childcare while we work, and the opportunity for our children to go to school. This is such a shit situation for everyone.

I don’t think you should feel in any way guilty or judged for taking up a childcare/ school place. You and DH are both essential workers and 100% entitled to it , as you should be. Also there’s a great need for child psychologists at the moment unfortunately.

@smariewrtr what does that have to do with neighbours not offering to buy you shopping and you taking that as no one giving a hoot about NHS staff? . It's unfair to say your neighbours were being disingenuous.

@Ihatefish. I am an accountant , doing tax returns . It is essential but it is not key , it’s hard to do at home with dodgy link up email and not quite the right file and children undoubtedly , but is it impossible, no . Is it key to saving peoples lives , no, is it essential that it is done outside the home , no . Ergo it’s not a key worker role in terms of childcare and employers should not require you to be in the office. I know it’s difficult to push back to employers but it is the law not just guidance

@Peaseblossom22 teachers are not saving people's lives and yet, they are keyworkers.

I just think people need to be sensible about the resources they are using. I am a key worker, technically. My job really is in no way 'key'. I mean, to a degree, yes, it's important. I work in clinical research (but not COVID) and am a lecturer. The government wants to keep education going and wants universities open, doing research, and teaching. But I can muddle on wfh with two dc at home if I need to (or I will take a leave of absence or something). I do have marking to do and teaching to facilitate in the next two months, but I can do a somewhat shit job at it and it will be fine. My research can probably just be delayed a few months. It's not ideal. But I can't really justify a key worker place as I wfh (and school won't give me one either, which I think is quite sensible). I think it's very different for medics and EYFS/primary/secondary teachers, etc. because their work is certainly much more critical than mine.

@drspouse that is because they are directly enabling the people who are key to saving peoples lives . Plus as a society we have decided to prioritise the continuation of education during this time . A fund manager / accountant/ employment lawyer has an indirect rather than direct relationship with the control of the pandemic

Dont mistake grumbling for vitriol.

@HelloMissus

People are angry at folk sending their kids to school. Yet they’ll be the first bleating if they can’t get a delivery of whatever shite they’re ordering. Or they can’t get a plumber or a boiler fixed. Or an appointment with a vet. They’ll be livid if their internet goes down or mobile signal crashes. And yeah, they’d quite like to still watch TV. Oh and they still want someone wiping their granny’s arse. And making sure she’s fed. And if someone could drive the taxi to take her to her vaccination.

But yeah. Everyone apart from doctors should stay home and teach their kids.

This is so true..

Although weirdly, small animal vets are not mentioned on the key worker list (only food producing animals) so we had to scale back on the non-essential work we are offering and ask to be counted as key workers for the purposes of emergency/critical care work and prevention of animal suffering... and yes, people do moan if you can’t clip their dogs claws and actually emergency work only does not actually generate enough turnover to keep practices afloat long term, so we are between a rock and a hard place.

We are both vets working outside the home with a degree of food production/emergency workload so could qualify for a kw space but are in the fortunate position to have paid for childcare available on my work days, plus juggling half days and holiday to cover it. Trying to do our bit to keep working and honour the kids element of the lockdown, although I understand we are extremely fortunate to be in this position.
We have a relative who is an a&e nurse who is tying herself in knots with shift patterns so she doesn’t have to put her kids in to school to reduce the risk they might present to the school bubble (and yes, downgraded ppe in her department also).

So not everyone is taking the p*ss. I think most of us understand the principle of keeping the kids at home, but many people are pulled in different directions trying to keep their jobs

@smariewrtr

I think people on this thread are being very hard on families where there is one key worker. My DH is a healthcare worker who put in at least 80 hours per week in the first lockdown, he had to make some tough decisions which took its toll on his MH.

I was working FT in a nothing special middle management role. I literally could only do about 2 hours work a day based on 3 kids under 5. My boss was great, but I was made redundant because he had to cut one FTE and I was an easy target given I didn't have much of a workload. I understood the rationale and was happy with my package but if I really needed/ wanted that job I would be gutted. But it sounds like people in this thread are saying the non key worker should drop everything so their partner can give 200%. Or should I have a said to my DH he couldn't do all those hours so I could work?

I support families with one non KW and one KW having a school place because of the risk that otherwise keyworkers who are paid less than their partners might chose to be the ones to quit for financial reasons (standard situation where the DH is the high earners and the DW is the key worker paid relatively little).

However, what you describe just puts you in the same position as any non-key worker single parent, or a family where both are non-key workers but one works outside of the home. I would t blame you for taking a place if you're legally entitled to one but the reality is you shouldn't be entitled to one. Schools are closing to prevent spread and that means keeping as many children as possible at home.

*wouldn't blame you.

I am a doctor, and I was redeployed during the first wave. It was horrific. I am still recovering now, and seeking treatment for PTSD. I have seen many of my colleagues become seriously unwell, and others have died.

I think some doctors need to understand that it's not just doctors who are having a post traumatic stress experience with this entire thing. You've actually had a lot of support (key worker discounts etc) which many people haven't had, who probably needed it a lot more (I am pretty sure the now homeless victim of DV was more in need of a discount voucher than a consultant level doctor for instance). Some doctors around us have really taken the piss and named and shamed small, local businesses for not providing discounts, despite the fact they received several weeks of free meals throughout six months of last year, and do so again.

It's obviously not all doctors, but doctors aren't the only ones being affected to post-traumatic stress levels at all and that attitude is causing an us vs them affect I think.

I have no issue with you accessing childcare but I think doctors need to understand they are not the only ones who have been severely impacted by the pandemic.

I am grateful for all that everyone has done throughout the pandemic.

Ps NHS and Blue Light, Civil Service, Private discounts etc have existed for a long time, but the fact that they, for the NHS, were massively ramped up last year, and you seem to miss that point, does come across like you are not so grateful about all the efforts businesses and communities when to to support you.

nourished You attitudes are exactly what I am talking about. I have never said that doctors are the only ones who have suffered from PTSD as a result of this pandemic, and obviously it is the case that my HCP colleagues have been effected as well.

I'm not sure either why you think I am ungrateful for the NHS discounts, which I didn't use. I'm not sure either that they increased, rather that they were publicised more.

You are clearly showing that you have a lot of resentment towards key workers.

There shouldn't be an 'us Vs them' mentality. Do away with the clapping, hero labelling, and discounts.

You are clearly showing that you have a lot of resentment towards key workers

I am one, well I was (now consulting in a key worker role so that may not count) - my then partner (and still close close friend) is one still ...

But yeah, I am resentful - your post came across like you were the only ones (doctors) suffering - that's simply not the case.

Do me a favour please, Doc. As someone who clearly suffered treating the first wave, I beg you to go and give some home truths to all of those saying they won't have the vaccine without any pressing medical reason not to.

There's a thread full of them on the subject.

@Cheeserton Amen to that.

Although I am at the stage now where I think it is utterly pointless (neighbour has a new chimney on and other neighbour thinks they've been paid to install a secret 5G mast in the area by the Government...)

cheeserton where is this thread? I have had the vaccine and would wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who is eligible.

nourished at least you are honest that you are resentful. My post did not say I am the only one who has had a difficult time, just that I have had a difficult time.

Sorry, resentful of your post, not keyworkers.

It hit a nerve with the I, doctor, I, seen first hand, I language - it has come across as if only doctors have been affected.

anyway I wish you good day and if your in london and need help with the ptsd side of things then I can reccommend a service to you (although hopefully by now you've got support and resources via work)

Here you go, Doc.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4128097-To-ask-if-youre-not-getting-the-vaccine