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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a 6/7/ year old boy is way to old to be stood in a museum drinking milk from a babies bottle???

87 replies

kitsandbits · 26/10/2007 10:43

The boy may have even been veering towards 8 - seriously.

He was just stood there walking about with a baby blue bottle whilst his mum quized him on mumification techniques, he was obviously a very intelligent boy (who was answering the questions in more detail then I could have!) so I really don't understand why he would be allowed a bottle at that age

OP posts:
Hallowedam · 27/10/2007 09:57

Yes, but part of living in a civilised society is learning to override your first impulses. And by the time you get home and go to your computer, you've had plenty of time to re-phrase those thoughts into 'I was surprised to see this, what do you think?'

UnionJack · 27/10/2007 09:58

Yes, I see your point. But Mn is a good place to dip your toe in the murky waters of judgement. Chances are you'll get your toe bitten off however.

Now if you'll excuse me, my 12 year old is calling to have his bottom wiped.

MrsLynetteScavo · 27/10/2007 10:08

If I saw an 8 year old drinking milk form a bottle in a museum, I would be suprised, but presume he had special needs. If I saw an 8 yearold drinking coke from a bottle/can in a museum I would be far more judgemental of the mother.

lady007pink · 27/10/2007 10:13

Colditz, I never said I was an expert on 6-year-olds. I just expressed an opinion on what seems to be the norm with my son and all his schoolfriends.
As I said, I am allowed to have an opinion as are other MNers.
Anyway, my said son is now sitting on my lap cuddling into me as I type this, because he wants me to play a Liverpool football game on YouTube.

LoveAngel · 27/10/2007 10:13

(Yawn) Why do you let these things bother you?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/10/2007 10:18

MrsScavo - why would you judge that? How do you know that was the first and only time in the last year that they had drunk coke?

MrsLynetteScavo · 27/10/2007 10:58

Exactly, I wouldn't be right to judge, but I think we're all judgemental to a certain degree. Heaven only knows what people think when they see my DH buying bottles of sprite and huge packets of Maltesers for my DS's, just to avoid a tantrum

Oh, and if anyone saw DS2 standing on our front lawn swiging from a Budwiser bottle - there was only water in it - honestly!

MaryBleedinShelley · 27/10/2007 11:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WILLBITEYOURNECKANDMAKEULIKEME · 27/10/2007 13:07

you are being very unreasonable. he may have a medical problem. none of your business anyway.

clicketyclick66 · 27/10/2007 13:17

Hope they don't turn out like [url='www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2724/396349?ts=1193486788334']this waster[/url] in years to come....

snoozer · 27/10/2007 13:44

An 8 year old stroking a security blanket and being carried by his mother in an airport?? Unacceptable. By that age he should be off at boarding school fending for himself and only seeing Mother and Father for a few hours every third weekend.

VoodooLULUmama · 27/10/2007 13:59

'Snout out!'

that is fab..

pagwatch · 27/10/2007 14:03

My DS has just turned 11 and still has to be carried and comforted at times - and boy do the certain mums out there get their knickers in a twist about that one .
My main comfort is that after having carried him for the first 6 years of his life every time we left the safety of home, and then having carried him periodically since ( when stressed or in a new enviroment) I am both fit as a butchers dog and have biceps like an East German shot putter - so people rarely stare for very long.

BTW if any of you were the two mums in Costas in Guildford this morning staring at my son for the duration of your visit - well done. It led to an incredibly useful discussion with my 5 year old DD about how rude it is to stare and how sometimes adults can be even more stupid than children.

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 27/10/2007 14:26

PMSL at half this thread!

A child being carried with a comforter couldn't just have been so excited that he ahdn't slept for two days then? Oh no . or eprhaps petrified of air travel and therefore been givens omething like melatonin? And comforters are hardly the work of The Devil. Where's the bloody issue?

And the bottle- oh for goodness sake! move on! It doesn't matter! It harms nobody! it was milk! hallelujah, he still gets healthy good milK! Well done that Mum!

And had to PMSL at the 'it'd be worse if it were coke'.... Okaaaay, my Ds1 is of the if he'll drink it he gets it- we had an ambulance on standby once after one of his liquid refusal stints, logic tells us now not to care (caffeine free).

but best of all (thank, a Saturday giggle!) 'But I was shocked because he seemed so intelligent and 'grown up' '

Yes that's right, because kids with SN are all think and immature- PMSL!

Just adore the 'well I am looking at the 6 year olds at school'- please, don't bother! I have a normal (ie NT) 6 year old, comparing him to the others is both useless and fruitless. And indeed, he is not ezxactly trauma free! Just different.

MaryBS · 27/10/2007 18:30

Peachy! Love it!

theheadgirl · 27/10/2007 19:38

Suwoo -
"but I would still be judgmental on this issue"
and you say have a growing awareness of SN issues?? But would still be judgemental after knowing nothing of this child's background?? Well stop!! Ok, you wouldn't let your own 8 year old child have a bottle. But for gods sakes don't make assumptions about others. Just be thankful your child doesn't need that sort of prop.
There. Got that off my chest.

CassandraMT · 27/10/2007 19:50

My first thought would have been SN too. Yes, you are being unreasonable. Try not to be so quick to judge people.

CassandraMT · 27/10/2007 19:52

It only really matters if you are juding them inferior to make yourself feel better, THG. People make assumptions all the time, but judging people is different, imho

theheadgirl · 27/10/2007 19:54

I agree CMT. There's the immediate judgement of "Well, I wouldn't do that...." As I said, just be thankful you don't need to.

onlyjoking9329 · 27/10/2007 19:54

if i noticed the child i would probably assume that the child had some additional needs.
i may well not notice the child as i would be far too busy ensuring that DS wasn't licking the window/floor/walls. and that i had DD1 & 2 in view.
take a look at my threes photos they don't have a tatoo on their foreheads saying that they have autism and you can't tell to merely look at them.

suwoo · 27/10/2007 19:55

Theheadgirl- thanks for your response to my post and I understand your reaction. Last night, I felt empowered to put down in words my judgemental views that I would normally keep to myself for reasons I will go into in a moment. The reason I am perhaps so judgemental on the bottle issue, is due to the area we lived in when I had DD. You know all the jokes about fruit shoots and sausage rolls that babies are eating in prams? Well, thats like where we lived. If it was a fruit shoot and a sausage roll, then that was a responsibe mum, the majority had tea, diet coke and McDonalds milkshake decanted into their bottles. I was stopped quite a few times by little old ladies and complimented on the cleanliness of DD and her pram . A women whose house I went to once, gave her DS his bot-bot (actually pronounced boc-boc in the traditional North Manchester way) after he had completed his year one homework . Maybe this has blinded me to the fact that there are many oher reasons why a child may need a bottle. On that subject, I mentioned my growing awareness of SN issues as my nephew has been diagnosed this week with autism. So, I am very sorry if I offended anyone and would like to populate the SN boards more frequently, if you'll have me now?

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 27/10/2007 19:56

aryBS- I didn't realise your son had an AS diagnosis. If you ever feel like you need a chat / support CAT me as there is a set up fr the SN mumson yahoo and loads of us there have AS experience

theheadgirl · 27/10/2007 20:03

Suwoo, we will have you on SN, all welcome. Good luck to your nephew.
OJ, in that museum, we would be next to you knocking over all the displays to see what kind of noise it made

onlyjoking9329 · 27/10/2007 20:08

the head girl if you got there after us you would find the job already done DD1 is a
lot bit of a magpie so i would have to frisk her before we left

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 27/10/2007 20:15

Sue, we welcome anyone on the Sn boards

FWIW I also grew up very much in an area like that, although as it was bang in the ,iddle of a rural area not so well known perhaps. But you know, Ok there are people in all palces that just don't give a damn, but in palces where there is a high prevalence it's also due to Sn, I think (used to work in a related field so have some experience). For a start amny of the aprents will be poorly educated and may well ahve an underlying, undiagnosed Sn themselves- or they may just not have come from an environment where its the norm to look in a book, or on the net to find out what constitues best parenting. often these aprents are doing the best trhey can and if you look deeper, making a pretty damned good fist of it- they might not be doing it the middle class MN MN way but that's fine.

A Mum n a museum though- in relaity she's likely to be fairly clued up, especially if she's discussing mummifying trechniques (ewr remove organs and wrap in bandages?).

So often poeple judge on the immediately observables, missing the reality of what goes on beneath. If we stop looking at the stuff that REALLY doesn't matter- bottles, blankets, the occasional fruit shoot- and at the stuff that dos (how many people seem to turn a blind eye to abuse for a start, or DV?) then we might actually make some headway in changing lives.