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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that a 6/7/ year old boy is way to old to be stood in a museum drinking milk from a babies bottle???

87 replies

kitsandbits · 26/10/2007 10:43

The boy may have even been veering towards 8 - seriously.

He was just stood there walking about with a baby blue bottle whilst his mum quized him on mumification techniques, he was obviously a very intelligent boy (who was answering the questions in more detail then I could have!) so I really don't understand why he would be allowed a bottle at that age

OP posts:

professorplum · 26/10/2007 23:13

My 8 year old cousin is autistic and my auntie carries him everywhere. He plays with string like a comfort blanket. People might think that he looks ridiculous, and they would be right, but my auntie is going to put her son's needs before the expectations of strangers.

lady007pink · 26/10/2007 23:21

The boy I saw at the airport was not an SN child. Just the youngest of 3 children and mollycoddled by his parents.

RoyKinnear · 26/10/2007 23:21

was it Brooklyn Beckham? He had one with juice or coke in it for years as did Romeo
I remember sayiing he was never photgraphed without it

chipmonkeyPumpkinNorks · 26/10/2007 23:26

YANBU. Totally ridiculous. He should have been breastfed.

totallyfreaky · 26/10/2007 23:30

ladt007pink

you cant know for sure he was not sn, unless you walked up and asked.

deeeja · 26/10/2007 23:44

My ds drinks out of a bottle. Especially if anxious. He is nearly 3. He won't give it up.
He insists on sitting on my lap, while he has his bottle.
He might still have it at 8. If it helps him to cope with anxiety, I will still allow him to have it. He is autistic.
WHO CARES?

onebadmother · 27/10/2007 00:15

SN that weren't immediately apparent? Anxiety problems? Could be almost anything, couldn't it really?

onebadmother · 27/10/2007 00:16

psml at breastfed.. oh yes..

onebadmother · 27/10/2007 00:20

lady007pink
SNs are often difficult to see with the naked eye!
These are the children that sometimes find life hardest. They have difficulties that others laugh at/are shocked by/comment on - but wouldn't dream of doing so if the children had more obvious SNs.
Please think carefully before making judgments!

BurpyErnie · 27/10/2007 00:21

He shouldn't have been drinking near the artifacts to start off with. Where was security ?

onebadmother · 27/10/2007 00:23

Also, sorry to be difficult lady007pink, but what business is it of yours if he's being 'mollycoddled?'
\
Even if completely true, still not your business.

Much more likely there was some underlying reason, which you could never possibly gauge with your beady, judgmental eye..

MrsLynetteScavo · 27/10/2007 08:38

I agree with you, onebabdmother.

When I was 8, I never flew, but I would have a comfort blanket in the back on the car, sucking my thumb and hugging my mum. (No seat belts of course I was brilliantly cared for by a fabulous mum, have no special needs, and have grown up into a perfectly normal adult.

I hosnestly didn't realise there were so many judgemental people out there.

lady007pink · 27/10/2007 09:06

Onebadmother, that family went to the same destination as us and it was obvious he wasn't SN.
Anyway, it wasn't just me that thought he looked ridiculous, others in the queue did too. Maybe 99.9% of the general public have "beady, judgemental eyes"!
Maybe if my children were older than him I mighn't have looked twice, but I am the most affectionate caring mother, yet my 6-year-old son does not want me cuddling him in public.

MaryBS · 27/10/2007 09:18

I would have perhaps thought the same as you until a few weeks ago, when my darling darling son was diagnosed with Asperger's. Thing is, with him, it isn't always obvious, until you put him in, say, a classroom situation, or in a situation where he becomes scared. And the thing with Asperger's is, children are of normal or above average intelligence.

Now he may NOT have had special needs, but he may have, and I really don't see how you could say for sure.

(Oh and DS NEVER had a bottle, he went straight from boob to sippy cup - didn't I get stick for that, while he was getting used to the cup!)

puppydavies · 27/10/2007 09:27

my four year old could easily be mistaken for a six year old. if she wants a cuddle in public at 8 or 28 she can have one.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/10/2007 09:33

Well, yes, I do think you are being unreasonable.

Simply because you are judging something on sight alone.

My DS still drinks milk from a bottle once a day. It's one of the very small things during my looooooooong day that I can do without having a battle over with DS, gawd love im.

Hallowedam · 27/10/2007 09:40

I would have been surprised but, since being on MN, would have thought: 'How odd. Oh well, maybe he has SN. Or his mother just knows best what suits her son.'

The 8yo, I would have thought: 'Blimey, that woman must be really, really strong'. I can only just pick ds up now and he's four! Admittedly a very strong, muscle-y four who is more dense than any of his friends but still, can't imagine picking an 8yo boy up for any length of time.

lady007pink · 27/10/2007 09:41

Onebadmother, we are all allowed to have opinions of our own.
If we all shared the same opinion we would be a boring lot and there would be no need for these messageboards.
And please attack the post, not the poster (ie, "your beady, judgemental eye") in future.
Anyway, I have come to understand maybe he had an underlying fear from reading these posts!

Hekate · 27/10/2007 09:41

Who cares? It's not hurting anyone. 7 or 8 is still VERY VERY young. Even if he didn't have any sn, he's still just a baby, really. Many of us do expect children to be short adults, don't we?

So maybe he had sn, maybe not. It doesn't even matter. Perhaps he just likes that bottle, maybe it comforts him, maybe it's a habit, maybe it makes his mum's day a bit easier. Whatever, I don't think it matters one jot. He was in a museum, with a mother who obviously cared for him and was interested in him. He could have a bottle, a dummy and a blankie and it still wouldn't matter, imo. Let kids give up these things in their own time.

Hallowedam · 27/10/2007 09:42

Mind you, I gather airport queues are so hideous these days you'd be grateful for any way of keeping a child happy.

tigermoth · 27/10/2007 09:45

It's just a bottle of milk. Ok at any age surely? But not so good if near museum exhibits.

I take your point that one doesn't see many 7 year olds drinking from babies bottles in public, but it's not 'wrong' to do so IMO

VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/10/2007 09:45

Quite edam. I'd breastfeed my older child (if I had one ) to shut em up in a queue.

colditz · 27/10/2007 09:47

Oh well, Lady007pink, obviously you are the expert on 6 year olds, because you have one. This of course qualifies you to judge the parents of all six year olds less mature than yours as odd, deficiant in some way.

I know plenty of cuddly six year olds. I also have a hefty four year old I am buying age six tops for - he loves to be held in my arms (when I can, the lump!) and he LOVES to drink out of sippy cups and, given half a chance, bottles.

Why must we wrest comfort away from little boys so early? And how does this affect anyone but the child and his mother?

Could this possibly be worse than the hoards of mothers who allow their six year olds to push, kick, swear and shout their way through life? Would that be more suitable?

UnionJack · 27/10/2007 09:52

Everybody is so quick to puff up their chests and say'How dare you judge!!'

Judging people is human nature. Whether you choose to act on those judgements is down to you.

People can think what they like.

If I saw a boy of that age drinkng from a bottle, I would be surprised. I may later find out he has special needs. I am still allowed to have that first thought, however.

Anyone who says they don't make judgements about people is a big fibber.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/10/2007 09:55

I agree UJ.

However, in this case the OP has cogitated and felt an incumbency to come here and post that "snap judgement" having not changed her mind at all, having considered it.

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