No wonder your boyfriend didn't want you..aibu?

[bedandted]

I had a argument with a friend today.
I hate arguing but she turns everything into a argument and plays the victim.
We were in the street as we were walking back from the local shop,we were discussing something and I told her she was in the wrong (owed me £30 and hadn't paid it back when she said so I asked her for it and she went on the defensive )
She said "omg you think il run away with it"
I said "no of course not,I'm just a bit short this month so could do with it back"
She started screaming "I'm sick of people speaking to me like shit"( I never do,I'm the pushover )
Then I said "why are you screaming in the street,just speak normal"
She screamed back "because of you,I'm done with you,no wonder (ex ) doesn't want to be with you,standing there like your it"
Then walked away ..I was left embarrassed as people were looking.
I don't think I can forgive her saying that to me.
Aibu to think there was no need?

She’s not your friend. She abusing your good nature. Walk away ...

“Given the verbal abuse you directed at me yesterday after being politely asked to pay back the money you borrowed from me, I have decided that from this point, it will be best if we don’t speak to one another at all.
You can keep the £30, it is worth it. Please be assured that if anyone asks why we are no longer in contact, I will tell them. I hope it was worth it for you too.”

I know it’s naff to suggest a text to send but in this case, I fucking would.

I'm ashamed to say I have a tendency to fly off the handle when challenged about something (which I'm trying hard to manage). Strangely, I think it's to do with low self-esteem. I imagine she's feeling embarrassed with herself. If you can be the bigger person here let her know how her attitude shocked and upset you. Even though she's a grown woman she needs to be told this isn't acceptable and she needs to work on herself, otherwise she'll end up very lonely and feeling very misunderstood.

Hmmm...I get a little tingly feeling that Op might get reeled in again ..it seems you're more hurt than angry and may want to try and resolve it ...dont ..shes using the classic abusers techniques including DARVO ...block her now on everything .

@sbhydrogen

Message her every day and say "Can you send me the £30?" and if she ever does, never speak to her again.

Do this OP and let us know how it goes 🙏

She isn’t a friend, she threw the strop so she didn’t have to pay you back. I’d write the £30 and her off entirely, this should be the end of any communication with her.

I like the idea from pictish.

I would go further and make sure every single mutual acquaintance knew what she had done.

She is utterly vile and deserves her comeuppance.

I have a family member who does that when asked to repay anything. She turns it round and makes you feel guilty, like it is a huge imposition to ask for the money you lent. She owes my dd hundreds and invents ludicrous, convoluted reasons she cannot repay. It is generally along the lines that someone else holds it and hasn't given it back yet. Your friend is displaying ott avoidance tactics. Do get rid of her. Sorry op, but never lend what you cannot afford to lose.

Yeah I think from the responses you get that she isn't a friend. She is deflecting because she is in the wrong. And she is being pathetic saying that, makes her sounds like she hasn't left the playground. You can do better for friends

@pictish

Quite simply she’s ensuring you don’t ask for that money again by making the exchange so unpleasant you won’t dare. It’s a commonly used tactic by abusers and manipulators.

Fuck her off. How dare she speak to you like that? So rude, so cruel. What an awful person.

This is spot on...

@kennelmaid

I'm ashamed to say I have a tendency to fly off the handle when challenged about something (which I'm trying hard to manage). Strangely, I think it's to do with low self-esteem. I imagine she's feeling embarrassed with herself. If you can be the bigger person here let her know how her attitude shocked and upset you. Even though she's a grown woman she needs to be told this isn't acceptable and she needs to work on herself, otherwise she'll end up very lonely and feeling very misunderstood.

and it's abusive behaviour...

Former friend by now, I hope.

Dont contact her, write the money off and thank your lucky stars she is now an ex friend. Why bother with someone like that. Life is too short. Karma will get her.

I'm in the minority, but I would get the £30 back from her and then block her. If she contacts you, tell her to transfer you the £30. If she doesn't, then yes, leave it.

@Cadent

I'm in the minority, but I would get the £30 back from her and then block her. If she contacts you, tell her to transfer you the £30. If she doesn't, then yes, leave it.

I agree.. I wouldn't write it off either.. that's her game plan hoping you'll write it off.. sod that.. get your money back first

She did it cos she is a first class twat. The only mistake you made OP was ever believing she was a friend In my 50 years I have seen literally hundreds of grabby,selfish,using people like her.You do not need the stress.£30 is cheap to find out what she truly is...a complete user and waste of skin.Dump her and stand back and watch how she moves on to the next victim to use,promise you she will have someone else before the weeks out...

Don't let the debt slide.

Do dump her thoroughly.

@bedandted

She's got form for this and normally I would let it slide. One time I bought her a top (or something) and as we were walking home she started arguing (can't remember why ) so she threw the carrier bag(with the top in ) on the floor and walked off. Then another time in a coffee shop started arguing top of her voice. Anytime anyone sticks up for themselves she does this.

So why on earth did you lend her money?

Learn your lesson this time.