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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No wonder your boyfriend didn't want you..aibu?

94 replies

bedandted · 04/01/2021 21:42

I had a argument with a friend today.
I hate arguing but she turns everything into a argument and plays the victim.
We were in the street as we were walking back from the local shop,we were discussing something and I told her she was in the wrong (owed me £30 and hadn't paid it back when she said so I asked her for it and she went on the defensive )
She said "omg you think il run away with it"
I said "no of course not,I'm just a bit short this month so could do with it back"
She started screaming "I'm sick of people speaking to me like shit"( I never do,I'm the pushover )
Then I said "why are you screaming in the street,just speak normal"
She screamed back "because of you,I'm done with you,no wonder (ex ) doesn't want to be with you,standing there like your it"
Then walked away ..I was left embarrassed as people were looking.
I don't think I can forgive her saying that to me.
Aibu to think there was no need?

OP posts:
DdraigGoch · 04/01/2021 23:56

This is why I never ever lend money. Ever.

Walk away.

Robbybobtail · 04/01/2021 23:57

She actually said “standing there like you’re It”? Is she twelve??

How embarrassing (for her I mean)

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 04/01/2021 23:57

£30 well spent if you're now rid of her. She sounds ridiculous.

I had an ex who broke something and proooomised he'd give me the money for it. Any time he contacted me being an arse I would message back saying, unless you're going to give me the money you owe me I don't see why you are contacting me. I was then a bitch or demanding or whatever, but he fucked off eventually and tbh I don't care that he never gave me it.

People who cause arguments when questioned or asked for something are not nice people. Never feel 2 inches tall, laugh at how insecure they must be that they can't be decent people.

NuniaBeeswax · 05/01/2021 00:01

"Tell her to shove the £30 up her arse and have no more to do with her."

Exactly this.

Twiddlet · 05/01/2021 00:11

Get the money back and then never speak to the vile thing ever again. How dare she.

Twofurrycatsagain · 05/01/2021 00:11

My normal rule is never to lend money (I'd give it if I knew someone was in dire straits).
I'd dog her for the money for being a cheeky fecker on principle . Then consign to the ex friend list

Worried234 · 05/01/2021 00:21

What a twat. I'd laugh at her, and then recount the whole debacle to several mutual friends. Some people are not only entitled, but crazy to boot.

BorderlineHappy · 05/01/2021 00:32

In this case I'd see the £30 as money well spent in getting rid of her.

Anyone listening to her on the street , screaming at you will think she's a bellend.

Chloemol · 05/01/2021 00:47

Time to call it on the friendship, text her and tell her you want your money back by xx

Then ignore

BlueThistles · 05/01/2021 01:21

She has achieved her aim OP...... 😏

she has moved your focus from the Money .... to your relationship and now has you questioning your relationship... and you let her 🙄

Get onto her ... tell her you want you Money ... and don't let her destroy your relationship.. 🌺

TurquoiseDragon · 05/01/2021 01:40

@bedandted

I could move past the fact she doesn't pay the money but I don't think I can move past the words. The "no wonder he doesn't want you" And "standing there like your it" Why even say that.
Because she's nasty.

Keep asking for your money back, then once you've got it,dump the friendship, cos she's no friend of yours.

EngelbertsRumpispink · 05/01/2021 01:57

I'm in the camp of
get the £30 back, then dump.

But £30 or not, get rid!
Without looking back.

What she said to you, is deplorable.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 05/01/2021 02:32

Are you both young, like 16? Hopefully her hormones will settle and she will be a less stressy adult.

eaglejulesk · 05/01/2021 02:42

I would be ditching her as a friend, but I would make sure I got the money back first. Don't let her away with it.

eaglejulesk · 05/01/2021 02:44

Forgot to say - there is no need for you to feel embarrassed. She is the one everyone would have been looking at.

Original poster
bedandted · 05/01/2021 09:13

She won't give me the £30 now that's pretty obvious to me.
If she valued that more than our friendship then let her crack on.
She clearly has been thinking those nasty things to say them.

OP posts:
WitchDancer · 05/01/2021 09:19

What a charmer! She's no friend, particularly as those remarks were aimed to hurt. Please don't take them to heart as it is coming from a place of jealousy.

I would be asking for the money back out of principal - the message that BlazingHill (I think!) up thread was perfect.

MyOwnSummer · 05/01/2021 09:44

What a horrible way to behave. You did nothing wrong OP, so please don't feel small about it, she's a dickhead.

I would still message to ask for the money, purely on principle so that she knows that you are not distracted by her theatrics and her bullying tactics have not worked.

You probably won't get it back, but there is value in standing up to a bully.

Dignified silence is also a very good option, if you don't feel that you can be arsed with the messaging.

CoalTit · 05/01/2021 10:00

Why even say that.
To upset you as much as possible, of course! So that you'll fret and worry and question yourself instead of asking for your money back. She's just said the nastiest thing she could think of to throw you off balance as much as possible.
You have to decide whether you want to persist and teach her that it doesn't work, or whether you need to get away from her immediately and stay away. You sound quite innocent and vulnerable to her very crude manipulation.

PenelopeStern · 05/01/2021 10:14

People would be looking at the person screaming and making a scene so any embarrassment is hers, not yours.

I know you've said you need the money but it's a cheap cost to find out that she is no friend of yours. Sorry this happened to you.

Windinmyhair · 05/01/2021 10:30

i'd probably message saying something like

"Your drama yesterday to avoid paying back my £30 that I need for food shows me how little you value our friendship. I suspect now you will never pay me back... your loss.

and wait. What I would be hoping for is that she would pay me back out of guilt... and then i could never talk to her again. But if she didn't pay me back, no harm done beyond what has already happened.

Burnthurst187 · 05/01/2021 10:39

Sounds like she had a tantrum. She's not a friend

Emeraldshamrock · 05/01/2021 10:44

Wow she is a cow.
She has done you a favour showing her true colours acting like a stroppy toddler avoiding an adult conversation.
Fuck her.
I'd personally insist she sent me the £30 her game wouldn't work.
Never speak to her again I'm sorry she hurt your feelings don't take her personally she is a cow who cares what cows think. Flowers

SinisterBumFacedCat · 05/01/2021 10:56

You have spent £30 on getting rid of this toxic nightmare from your life. That’s a bargain.

If you have any mutual friends do warn them.

pictish · 05/01/2021 11:01

Quite simply she’s ensuring you don’t ask for that money again by making the exchange so unpleasant you won’t dare.
It’s a commonly used tactic by abusers and manipulators.

Fuck her off. How dare she speak to you like that? So rude, so cruel. What an awful person.

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