Baby Shower

[Paisley2018]

I am invited to a close friends baby shower and I really do not want to go. I just really detest them. I think they are so cringey. Not my cup of tea at all. AMBU to not want to go? Should I just be going out of ‘duty’ to my friend?

I should add - the date has not been confirmed yet due to Covid. But once restrictions have been lifted she wants to have one. And is quite intent on it.

I am not a fan but I would go. If it weren't for covid restrictions that is.

Can’t you say you can’t go because Covid?

Are you in the U.K.? If so surely you can’t attend a baby shower right now?

For what’s it’s worth, I hate them too, grabby and cringey and don’t even get me started in gender reveals. I declined the last one I was invited to, and bought a present and card for the baby when born.

I just text an honest ‘thanks so much for the invite but they’re really not my thing. Have a lovely time and I’m so looking forward to catching up another time’

I wouldn't go, I hate them too and ducked out of one a close friend had organised for Feb last year. Was so glad I hadn't gone when i saw the photos too. Hate them. Attention seeking, grabby, just horrible.

When is the baby due? We have to be in Tier 1 restrictions before we're allowed to mix households and that's not happening any time in the next three months for most of us!

I don't like the idea of them either but if I was invited, I would go out of politeness.

She is quite early on but wants to do the whole gender reveal thing too. When did theses showers become such a ‘thing’?
And then there’s the gifting. Do you buy a present for the shower and then another when the baby arrives?

I don't like them either but I went when invited.

I didn't have one for either of my children.

@MsVestibule
I just don’t see why I should partake in something I don’t want to out of politeness.
I’ve not said anything as yet because I don’t want a big falling out - got enough drama going on. Maybe I should just suck it up and go. It’s just that I hate the whole idea of them. It won’t even be a small affair if she gets her way. It will be in a hall or something OTT.

I doubt you’ll even need to go, I can’t imagine her being able to do it before the baby is born. If she’s told everybody she’s pregnant she must be a few months in already?

@Paisley2018

She is quite early on but wants to do the whole gender reveal thing too. When did theses showers become such a ‘thing’? And then there’s the gifting. Do you buy a present for the shower and then another when the baby arrives?

From the post it sounds as if she’s organising the shower herself. If she is, that’s very bad manners. I’m not a fan of them. There is no obligation to buy presents, but most people will buy a present for the shower, and then again for the actual birth, so you might feel pressured into buying two gifts.

Don't say anything now, but be very sorry that you're already booked when she does arrange the date. Or say you've been told to self isolate.

I hate them too, but have been to a couple anyway. If I was you I would just accept the invite and if/when it ever even happens you can just make an excuse bearer the time. Saves falling out.

Yes she will be organising it herself.
She has had her first scan so about 12-13 weeks I think.
Her next scan is at 20 weeks so she would be having the shower after that to incorporate the ‘gender reveal’.
Obviously if we are still under strict covid restrictions she won’t be able to do that but has said she would hold off and have one later on without the gender reveal part.
Potentially it could still go ahead.

American claptrap. Basically a requested for attention and presents. I didnt want one and avoid them aside from my closest friends.

I just text an honest ‘thanks so much for the invite but they’re really not my thing. Have a lovely time and I’m so looking forward to catching up another time

Great answer.
If they get the hump and have a hissy fit after you have explained then they are not a friend worth having.

Crass American "bring me presents " party

@Dawnlassie
Thanks - and you are right. I wouldn’t want to feel as though I had forced any of my friends into attending something they didn’t want to. So if she does have a hissy fit then she might not be as much as a close friend as what I had thought.

They're not all the same. My friend just wanted a get together with no expectations of gifts and I think I'd like the same. It's just an excuse for a girly gathering and natter but it's not going to be possible probably for many of months.

Yes, it's considered very bad form here (Canada) to throw your own baby shower. It should be your mum, sister, best friend etc.

I hate gender reveal parties too. Luckily never been invited to one.

Why not say you are avoiding social gatherings and mixing with people etc until you have had the covid vaccine? I doubt that will happen anytime in the next 2 or 3 months .

@OhBaublesBaubles
That does actually sound quite nice.
However - this is not the case for my friend. She is quite into the whole TOWIE/Mummy Diaries stuff so wants to have a ‘glam’ event. She has spoken about it in length.
I didn’t realise it was considered bad form in different countries. I think she is blissfully unaware!

You are within your rights not to go out of politeness but I see it as a girly get together to have afternoon tea. If that isn’t your thing of course you dont have to go.

However just because someone doesn’t really like birthdays or weddings I would be sad if my friend didn’t come and I see it as a similar thing.

I hate them more than wedding lists for people who haven't lived at home for years!

I wouldn't go because of Covid. Realistically indoor
large group activities won't happen during her pregnancy anyway.