One key worker, child should stay home

[Areyouactuallyseriousrightnow]

Not sure if there has already been a thread but AIBU to think that if only one parent is key worker and other is WFH, child should be staying home as school provision is for key workers who cannot complete their important role if they have to look after child at home, not so that the other parent can continue with work without interruption?

My partner is a key worker, but I don’t consider us eligible as I am home and therefore technically can be with the children.

YABU- if there’s one key worker take that opportunity to send the child in.
YANBU- if there’s another parent at home, child should stay home.

OP, keep your nose out of other people’s family lives

Our council are saying childcare is for 2 key worker parents only and if either 1 can wfh then not eligible. So we cannot send DD to the school hub or DS to his usual private nursery at our own cost even though they are staying open as they are following that guidance. I'm so frustrated as I'm a key worker doing 2 days wfh, 3 days outside while OH is not a key worker at all but works in an outdoor setting which has specifically been allowed by the Scottish government to remain open. As it stands he will be working 2 half days and 1 full day when my MIL will watch the kids as usual, using annual leave and banked overtime
and I will have 2 half days juggling wfh with kids there. It very nearly broke me last time around. If schools and nurseries don't reopen before our annual leave runs out I can see me, the lower paid but working my way up the career ladder after 2 maternity leaves,giving up my job and probably never recovering, wasting the last few years of hard work and training.

*It's all bloody ridiculous. Just because you are not a key worker doesn't mean your work allow you to sit and home and look after your children whilst they pay you. Everyone should be allowed to send their children to school if they need to work! Unless of course the govt want to cover their wages and ensure businesses stay in business!

And please don't tell me furlough is doing this - furlough covers wages 80% up to £30k per annum - for many this is not covering their wages and it also costs the business. Back to my original point - school should take any children who need places!*

Think you need to write to your MP. Schools will be following national guidance.
If so many staff are ill, due to unsafe conditions, or if your own children are ill or in isolation what are you going to do?
School can't take any child that needs a place because that would be everyone. Again not possible with ill staff or with social distancing to keep everyone safe. You are being ridiculous.

I'm still interested to know too if a single parent just happened to live with a partner (who wasn't their child's parent) who was WFH would they be expected to look after the children? And how would you expect their employer to react to that? I can't imagine well. I've worked for some unsympathetic employers before who would absolutely not accept my work slacking because I was looking after the kids of my boyfriend, for example.

That's what seems to be suggested by the guidance though. A single parent unless there is another adult in the household.

Just trying to understand why everyone is so bothered about whether it’s one or 2 key workers

Because if only 1 parent is a keyworker and the other parent works from home, the other parent can look after the child, therefore reducing the number of children that staff and other keyworkers children attending school are in contact with.

I'm a keyworker my DH is not but he works out of the home. I'll be taking my keyworker place!

The school is well aware.

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze

Just trying to understand why everyone is so bothered about whether it’s one or 2 key workers

Because if only 1 parent is a keyworker and the other parent works from home, the other parent can look after the child, therefore reducing the number of children that staff and other keyworkers children attending school are in contact with.

And if the other parent doesn't work from home but isn't a keyworker? There are still lots of those people! They wouldn't be covered by a 2 keyworker rule.

YouCanWorkItOut

I’m a critical worker, front line HCP. My husband WFH, he’s a solicitor. He earns ten times my wage. My monthly salary wouldn’t cover half a mortgage payment. He’s SE/a partner and there is no furlough option. He cannot do his job and care for our 4 year old and there’s no point anyone saying “well he has to get on with it” “what if he were a single parent” etc. It’s just not possible, not with the amount of client contact he has to have, not to mention zoom court hearings etc, and not with our particular 4 year old! He could probably manage the 9 year old.

So, if we didn’t get a key worker place for the children (and we will, as luckily our school hasn’t said anything so draconian and are a bit more long sighted than many schools and people seem to be) I would be off sick until my notice period ended and then I would leave. And the NHS is one experIenced nurse down.

I’m also putting them in 5 days, although I only work 2.5, so I can have some decompression time and pick up shifts at short notice.
Boo

It states that the non key worker has to stay at home and is responsible for childcare. What makes you any different because your husband has a huge salary? Thousands of people are loosing their jobs and having to go on unpaid leave not just your family.

Even if that means the key worker resigning or taking leave.

And we all know which group are the ones quitting work or making huge career sacrifices don't we..... yep, women.

Give us a few more months and it will be like all the progress we made never even happened.

All these people claiming it's selfish to send your child to school if you can wfh. Can you tell me what I should do while I'm delivering lectures which can last 3 hours? I'm sure leaving my just turned 6 yr old alone would be considered neglect 🤷🏼‍♀️

Because if only 1 parent is a keyworker and the other parent works from home, the other parent can look after the child

It's impossible simultaneously to work from home and look after young children. Unless you have a "non-job" type of a job.

How are barristers supposed to do court hearings, social workers supposed to have meetings with vulnerable children and adults, teachers supposed to teach online?

The real choice is which parent is able to work effectively and which is not. This will be a question of economics for most families.

@BloodyHellJuice exactly! I'm sure there are loads of families in that position. There seems to be this perception that the only people working outside the home at the moment are key workers when that's not the case.

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze

Just trying to understand why everyone is so bothered about whether it’s one or 2 key workers

Because if only 1 parent is a keyworker and the other parent works from home, the other parent can look after the child, therefore reducing the number of children that staff and other keyworkers children attending school are in contact with.

I don't think you understand what wfh means .....

There is a reason I've always had to provide proof I have childcare when wfh in the past.

It states that the non key worker has to stay at home and is responsible for childcare. What makes you any different because your husband has a huge salary? Thousands of people are loosing their jobs and having to go on unpaid leave not just your family.

Some people here seem to think you can force people to work . In reality, families can choose which parent takes unpaid leave or resigns if necessary (and it won't be the higher paid parent).

We have undervalued key workers for so long - why are we suddenly expecting them to sacrifice their family's financial security and wellbeing to save us?

[quote DrMaryMalone]@BloodyHellJuice exactly! I'm sure there are loads of families in that position. There seems to be this perception that the only people working outside the home at the moment are key workers when that's not the case.[/quote]
Yep! It's my situation, sort of.

Keyworker (RP) but ex (NRP) isn't but has to work outside home, his job cannot be done from home. We usually have nearly 50:50 split. I can't just expect him to give up his job to care for the kids 24/7, he has his own bills to pay!

If both parents, even separated parents, have to be keyworkers in order to get a place, what do we do?

DH and I are both keyworkers. I can WFH but if the primary schools/EYFS close I will be taking up our places (don't worry, I will still have my yr8 at home, so not getting off scott free) as the work I do isn't sustainable with young children at home (not least because it's not fair for the customers I deal with to only have half my attention while they're going through a terrible time).

A friend of mine is an ICU nurse and her husband works in the city. She is a keyworker, he is not. They will be taking up the provision as otherwise she would be taking unpaid leave. And her hospital would be down (another) nurse.

No it's not fair. But life isn't fair. It's also an obvious consequence of a society that undervalues 'womens' work. Nurses, teachers , childcare, shop workers, administration of pretty much all jobs everywhere etc etc
If these jobs were valued more and paid better perhaps we could get away with 1 keyworker per family. But they aren't. So we can't.

Who knows, perhaps post Covid there will be a huge drive to get men into those roles... I'm sure wages will rise if that happens

The nursery my son goes to says he can't come if only one parent is a keyworker and even then only if we've exhausted all other childcare options.

I said upthread it's difficult to have blanket rules because there are lots of grey areas.
I know 2 non key workers who both work outside the home & fortunately could move a grandparent in during the last lockdown & their child is a little older.
I know a key worker couple who both wfh & the mum works 2 days a wk & could do her work in the evenings but still took a 5 day place. I know because she's a colleague & we do the same job. Our work was excellent with letting us do the bare essentials of our work in whatever pattern we could fit. I didn't feel comfortable taking a place because our school was really trying to prioritise single parents & vulnerable children.

@Lippylooksnice literally “it” doesn’t say that so perhaps read the guidance again before pronouncing on it incorrectly.

And obviously I am not going to volunteer to lose my family’s home and security. I will just not go to work if I don’t get a school place. TBH I am easy either way.

[quote YouCanWorkItOut]@Lippylooksnice literally “it” doesn’t say that so perhaps read the guidance again before pronouncing on it incorrectly.

And obviously I am not going to volunteer to lose my family’s home and security. I will just not go to work if I don’t get a school place. TBH I am easy either way.[/quote]
Same here. I'm the KW, but no one will be forcing me to neglect my children this time round. Either they go to school or I won't be working.

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze

I don't think you understand what wfh means .....

I should hope I do I’ve done it for years. 🙄 My OH also works at home as well now did to covid. What a patronising prick you are. Enjoy your competitive I’m worse off than you crap. 👋

Aren't you a delight? Is the nastiness really needed?

If you really do understand then why are you so adamant that people can wfh and care for young children.
Try to have some compassion and and understand that it's just not possible for everyone. The first lockdown pretty much broke me and I had minimal teaching responsibilities.
Jan - Easter is when my timetable is at its fullest. I can't deliver lectures and look after a 6 year old.
Not all jobs are the same.

I am torn on this. My husband can't wfh and is a police officer. My work were great last time but I'm not sure they'll be this time. So if my children don't get a keyworker place, my husband will be taking on half the childcare (we need my income)- if the intention is to make sure the critical workers can attend then we will need a keyworker space a few days a week.

I WFH 5 long says a week, on video calls all day long, do I neglect my children or tell work to feck off?

I can do neither, do if a place is available by virtue of the other parent, I'll take it

I’m really interested in what jobs people do that they can WFH and provide childcare simultaneously for extended periods of time. I don’t know if it’s to do with me, or my job, or my child but I am not able to do this.

I don't think there are many jobs that allow for this but some allow some flexibility & it helps if you are not f/t.

I would start work at 7-9.30 whilst DH did the kids breakfast, got them dressed etc. Then DH would log in & start work. I would homeschool & check emails & do basic tasks. Lunchtime whichever parent had the most pressing task would leave lunch to the other. Back homeschooling the kids until 3, ipads/tv/play for the last 2 hours. If we needed to do stuff after bedtime we did. The downside was when I returned to the office I pretty much worked f/t for 2 months to catch up.

One key worker and one full time wfh parent here. We were technically eligible last time but didn't take our place. I thought it best to
Juggle and manage if i could re social duty and knowing some couldn't and needed that place. By the end it nearly broke me.

My yr 1 child got to do 6 days back before the end of term. I took her to the gate with my year 5 child and was staggered to see some of the children attending knowing what their parents did for a living. My particular favourite was a secondary school teacher non core subject pastoral head of house (home based and dabbling online-not a teacher bash-i know many who grafted and he isn't one) and a self employed massage therapist (business closed due to lockdown) with only one year five child. Strolling into the pick up area hand in hand having had a lovely day out walking the dogs and bragging about it. They were far from the only ones.

So i support it being policed as some people took the p*ss!