One key worker, child should stay home

[Areyouactuallyseriousrightnow]

Not sure if there has already been a thread but AIBU to think that if only one parent is key worker and other is WFH, child should be staying home as school provision is for key workers who cannot complete their important role if they have to look after child at home, not so that the other parent can continue with work without interruption?

My partner is a key worker, but I don’t consider us eligible as I am home and therefore technically can be with the children.

YABU- if there’s one key worker take that opportunity to send the child in.
YANBU- if there’s another parent at home, child should stay home.

Our school were awful last time and made their own list of what they considered ‘key’. Teachers, solicitors and our postie were not considered key. I am a doctor and DH was working on the vaccine, but they didn’t give us a place until June, because DH was WFH and I needed to ‘manage my shifts’! It was truly horrific and nearly broke us as a family, I really don’t know what we’ll do if they close and refuse us a place again.

@Redwinestillfine

Under the first lockdown it was only if both parents were key workers wasn't it? My DH is a key worker but we were both at home so kept them off.

I think it was at the discretion of the school.

@Jetatyeovilaerodrome

Yes, in the end a lot of schools had far less kids in than they were expecting I think last time, so there can't have been that many 'piss takers'.

At the start of lockdown that was true. By the May return elbows were out for places in the keyworker hubs.

Space was given to a keyworker whose partner was a furloughed hairdresser which I did think took the piss while many of us were wfh while attempting to home school.

If it goes to a rota system (which I would support to allow distancing) I hope it is fairer in access to onsite teaching than the phased return was in May.

Our LA says both parents to be Keyworkers and have to attend your workplace.

I just meant that Wfh and looking after children is horrible for everyone, whether they are critical workers or not.

But I’m a critical worker and I earn much less than my DH. School won’t take DC. I’m going to take parental/special leave or frankly resign, financially we’re fine on DH’s income (which I fully appreciate is a privileged position).

I feel really bad about it though as my work is genuinely important to the COVID response and my team is badly overstretched already, but I’m not prepared to sacrifice DC again to work many excess unpaid hours to get the COVID work done at DC’s expense.

This is what I mean about the critical worker places, they’re meant to protect the work getting done.

I’m a key worker as a teacher. My DH is not. If we get offered a space we’ll take it. If I have to wfh I can’t teach a levels with my kids around and he can’t not do his work as he earns more than me. If we don’t get offered it we’re going to have to hope that his company is flexible and sympathetic to him working totally random hours to fit it in when I’m not teaching. I’ll then be working most of the night sorting lessons etc as when I’m not actually teaching I’ll be with my kids sorting them out. Everyone loses out as my students won’t be able to have the support they need as I won’t be able to be around like I normally would as I’ll be trying to educate my kids.

I agree, if one parent is not a keyworker then the child shouldn't attend school. Makes it equal for everyone as a non keyworker single parent wouldn't get a space and their employer should be understanding.

What is all this talk of my LA this, my school that? Central government make the rules about who is classed as a key worker and were very clear that only one parent was required to be for sensible reasons already explained above. If your school is trying to enforce their own version of the rules contact the local authority with proof of your employment and they will have to sort it out.

Well I’m a hospital consultant.
Not eligible for a place as husband is sometimes wfh. Works in a bank but not a high street bank so doesn’t count.
No wraparound even if I was so the max cover I was ever going to get was 8:30-3:30 not my usual 8-6.
No negotiation to be had it would appear.

Last time the nurses on the ward were reaching for a MAF form as my 9 year old was on the phone asking for instructions how to make beans on toast for her and her little brother’s lunch.

No bloody idea how I’m going to get to work and will likely have to take emergency leave.

There needs to be scope to decide locally on case by case as my medical director won’t be pleased given the official government guidance doesn’t require both parents to be keyworkers.

@Donotgogentle. Sorry, I think I misinterpreted you.

I’m not prepared to sacrifice DC again to work many excess unpaid hours to get the COVID work done at DC’s expense.

I think all parents who have an alternative to neglecting their children while they're trying to work should take it.

It’s not about being “equal for everyone”. It’s about critical work getting done for the good of society.

Thanks Mess, I knew what you meant.

For the most part yes but I think there are grey area cases too

Just because your working at home, doesn’t mean you don’t have work to do! How can you concentrate and work / do meetings etc when your constantly interrupted. It’s not possible and extremely stressful. It’s not fair on your child.

It's all bloody ridiculous. Just because you are not a key worker doesn't mean your work allow you to sit and home and look after your children whilst they pay you. Everyone should be allowed to send their children to school if they need to work! Unless of course the govt want to cover their wages and ensure businesses stay in business!

And please don't tell me furlough is doing this - furlough covers wages 80% up to £30k per annum - for many this is not covering their wages and it also costs the business. Back to my original point - school should take any children who need places!

My DD primary schools is

Critical workers ( a list ) only one has to be a critical worker.
Children under social services , ehcp or who school may deem vulnerable.
Children who do not engage well with remote learning.
Parents who will struggle without a break or struggle to do remote learning

So basically anyone who wants to 🤣

Lots of mums in my school are SAHM but their husband is a key worker (supermarket worker, delivery driver, pharmacist to name some examples). They sent their kids into school during the first lockdown whilst they sat at home on their own, doing nothing. Meanwhile I WFH and had to juggle work and homeschooling two primary aged kids. I think both parents should be keyworkers to get a lockdown school place. Not fair otherwise.
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This makes me so bloody angry! These women are a bloody disgrace and the quicker they so something about it the better. That’s the whole point of the lockdown, to stay at home. I knew a women who done this, she’s a nurse but her husband doesn't work but got to send her three kids to the school hub. I can’t even look at her now. People are struggling having to take unpaid leave and others breeze through it selfishly.

Ours had a similar list @whattheactual202021 although the vulnerable kids were higher priority than critical workers. Those two categories alone filled all the spots so the rest ended up irrelevant

Our school only take them if you're a keyworker who can't work from home and they can't be safely cared for at home by anyone else.

I'm torn on this, I'm a KW and DH isn't, I won't send kids in but youngest is 10, so able to work alone a bit. If both parents aren't KW they can split and both spend some time working and some with kids, if only one at home its much more difficult, particularly if you have very little ones.

Our local primary insisted on both as KW in lockdown 1, but secondary didn't.

My secondary school is expecting twice as many kids next week as we had at the beginning of lockdown 1.

I think schools closing will be more difficult for parents than last time as fewer people will be furloughed I imagine?

Thank you everyone for explaining how complex this situation is I didn’t fully consider it.

@Dishwashersaurous I’ve definitely not been juggling WFH and childcare seamlessly, it has been extremely challenging as has been the case for many. My point was as my KW partners ability to work isn’t affected we don’t feel we should take a school place.

But thanks all I understand much better the different challenges other KW households face, and I’m sorry for absolutely everyone who is going to have a tough time with the imminent school closure.

@Looneytune253 I agree, if one parent is not a keyworker then the child shouldn't attend school. Makes it equal for everyone as a non keyworker single parent wouldn't get a space and their employer should be understanding
But what if the employer isn’t understanding. Dhs employer would tell him that his childcare is not their problem, he can take the time off unpaid or come in to work. So, as we can’t survive without his wage (as it’s higher than mine), I will have to stop doing my key worker role. That is why it’s one parent to get a place. I get that single parents are different and I’m not sure what the answer should be there, but it shouldn’t be to stop the lower paid key workers from doing their roles.

I’m a key worker, husband working a stressful job from home. How are we supposed to look after our 2 Under 3?

YABVU - Once upon a time we all stood on doorsteps clapping them and now we begrudge them any support they need with childcare while they’re working all hours to support during a national crisis. Often they are risking catching covid while you are sitting safely at home too. Unbelievable!

My partner is a key worker outside the home and is not allowed to take any leave at the moment because they r so busy. My children are young so need supervision. If schools close that means I can’t work at all indefinitely. Whilst my work are being flexible they refuse to furlough at all, let alone childcare reasons. Realistically this could go on for months, if I don’t work for months I loose my job which pays far more than DP....if you ask us to choose it’ll have to be the key worker on the lower wage that quits their job, right at the time when you need them to be doing all hours.

’my view was that the WFH parent in a one key worker couple is no worse off than other ‘no key worker’ couples so shouldn’t send child in...’ Of course we are worse off. Neither of us can be furloughed and DP is working all hours in a national crisis outside the home and I have no one to share childcare with. If DP had a different job we could both wfh half days and both keep our jobs.

For what it’s worth we would only take any childcare provision we need (part-time probably).

Don't assume all employers have unlimited flexibility.
I work for a university and they've been brilliant but I still need to be available to teach when I'm timetabled to.... there isn't anything I can do about that. I can't teach and look after my child. It's just not possible. The fact I'm teaching from home makes zero difference.