One key worker, child should stay home

[Areyouactuallyseriousrightnow]

Not sure if there has already been a thread but AIBU to think that if only one parent is key worker and other is WFH, child should be staying home as school provision is for key workers who cannot complete their important role if they have to look after child at home, not so that the other parent can continue with work without interruption?

My partner is a key worker, but I don’t consider us eligible as I am home and therefore technically can be with the children.

YABU- if there’s one key worker take that opportunity to send the child in.
YANBU- if there’s another parent at home, child should stay home.

It's the households with WFH parents who are working in recruitment, or finance, or journalism, or universities or education of ANY kind etc etc that are causing the massive numbers in schools...

How about those in recruitment for NHS?
Finance for NHS, telecoms, energy, supermarkets, transport and the list of industries goes on..?
University lecturers still teaching or those actively supporting students through current difficulties?

It is nowhere near as simplistic as you are trying to make out. Every sector the government has listed has some critical workers who are essential to this pandemic. It is frustrating that some are taking advantage but you absolutely cannot assume the industries you have mentioned don't have people working in a critical role right now

@Manteo
This is a very different story from everyone I know who works in a university setting. They've been supportive on the whole as I understand it. Lots of staff furloughed in the last lockdown and lots of flexibility for those that couldn't. Also very strict rules on redundancies so I highly doubt your job would be at risk.

@Guineapig99

DP and I in education and have 'critical worker' status, WFH, all online, endless video calls etc. Wouldn't dream of taking up school places for the kids but everyone has their own standards/morals I suppose.

Oh so both of you are at home. Makes it a bit easier if you're both at home and can tag team I guess. And you are able to be a martyr on Mumsnet and try to shame other parents, bonus!!

'How about those in recruitment for NHS?
Finance for NHS, telecoms, energy, supermarkets, transport and the list of industries goes on..?

And what about those NOT? Or are suddenly 40% + of this nations job suddenly 'critical' to the NHS and COVID response?? Because that would be the only way to explain the surge in kids in school - and what about the people who genuinely COULD take places but aren't because of their conscience?
I have two Doc mates, husband and wife, who are juggling schedules NOT to take school places. I know lecturers, FE staff WFH home and NOT taking places. I know a recruiter for the public sector NOT taking 2 places ( while his nurse wife works in hospital) because he's WFH.
We ALL know people who we know can keep their kids at home but aren't because it's a complete ballache to WFH while trying to supervise kids home learning.

I am listening to radio 4 news as I type and it is headline news, London will have run out of hospital beds in 2 weeks time at this rate! There is too much interaction, it has ZERO to do with being a martyr, wake up- are you not scared of the implications of this for you for your family!

'And you are able to be a martyr on Mumsnet and try to shame other parents, bonus!!'

It's not easy, it's bloody chaos quite honestly. But all these people suddenly 'critical' or 'essential' to the NHS are sending their kids into school as the infection rates soar, the NHS cracks, and our hospitals are overwhelmed. if they really cared about the NHS they'd pay attention to the letters and emails coming from their schools pleading with them to not send their children in unless there absolute is no alternative.

Oh and we are both at home but in no way tag teaming- I wish it was as organised as that. The idea that all these people WFH on 5 x their KW partner are some how unable to do their bit because of their massive incomes is laughable. If they are on that much they must be quite senior and can influence business decisions on this to an extent! Perhaps be pioneers and not except dangerous decisions on this situation !

@Guineapig99

'And you are able to be a martyr on Mumsnet and try to shame other parents, bonus!!'

It's not easy, it's bloody chaos quite honestly. But all these people suddenly 'critical' or 'essential' to the NHS are sending their kids into school as the infection rates soar, the NHS cracks, and our hospitals are overwhelmed. if they really cared about the NHS they'd pay attention to the letters and emails coming from their schools pleading with them to not send their children in unless there absolute is no alternative.

Not had an email from the school. Probably due to there only being 8 kids in DDs class.

As people have repeatedly kept saying, it depends on the individuals situation. Judging as an external, you have absolutely no idea of the whole picture and why they have made the decisions they did.

So many won't have taken the decision to send children in lightly. I hate the idea that others may be judging my family for using childcare, especially when I want nothing more than to be at home with them right now. As you yourself has quoted, so many couples who are both in KW demanding roles are making it work because they can even though they are entitled to places. Maybe extend consideration both ways and acknowledge some circumstances have changed since last time so people need more help

Instead of complaining on a forum, people should lobby with their MPs to tighten up the system and potentially have priority access for spaces based on parents' occupation and situation.

metro.co.uk/2021/01/07/parents-falsely-claiming-key-worker-status-to-get-children-in-school-13866636/

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/key-worker-space-schools-pupils-19586840

www.thesun.co.uk/news/13693223/schools-50-per-cent-full-lockdown-key-workers/

www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-55579711

Everyone in my team who are sending kids in are single mums or who have husbands who work in essential fairly low paid jobs in argriculture - chickens - the chickens you or other people eat do not feed themselves!!!

I can understand it to an extent if the parent wfh is on the phone etc and can't look after their children so they need to be in school.
I've heard of families with 1 KW and 1 stay at home parent still sending their children to school which is ridiculous!

@Jellycatspyjamas
Do you think 50% of children in schools is acceptable then?

I think it’s between parents, schools and education authorities to decide whether they’re offering places to too many people, following guidance etc. I don’t think some random on the internet has any right to question someone else about their work patterns or to decide whether they should or shouldn’t send their kids to school.

No one needs your permission or approval to make decisions for their family.

@riddles26

As people have repeatedly kept saying, it depends on the individuals situation. Judging as an external, you have absolutely no idea of the whole picture and why they have made the decisions they did.

So many won't have taken the decision to send children in lightly. I hate the idea that others may be judging my family for using childcare, especially when I want nothing more than to be at home with them right now. As you yourself has quoted, so many couples who are both in KW demanding roles are making it work because they can even though they are entitled to places. Maybe extend consideration both ways and acknowledge some circumstances have changed since last time so people need more help

Instead of complaining on a forum, people should lobby with their MPs to tighten up the system and potentially have priority access for spaces based on parents' occupation and situation.

Lots of people obviously get as much satisfaction from lobbying an MP as they do from anonymously sneering at other parents online.

*don't get as much satisfaction 🤦

That's disingenuous and missing the point that is headline news! Nobody is being personal, this is a public forum discussing a topic that is hugely relevant to the wellbeing of all of us now. You really think people are not going to discuss this, we need to discuss it as it is a dangerous problem that needs to be resolved now not in a month's time when the damage is done and we have contacted our local MPs!

@ElsaSchraeder

Exactly *@redcandlelight*

The nurse upthread saying "He really can’t supervise the children and work - his work is very pressured and he already works crazy hours."

Yes. He can. That's his job in the pandemic. I am doing this, for example. A nurse must go in and do punishing awful shifts. A university person must support vulnerable young people and juggle that with children around. A person working in a capitalist sort of job must do crazy hours, do a worse job, push work to those on their team with no kids. Those with no kids must take up the slack for parents at work and deal with often horrible loneliness and related issues. It is SHIT for us all. But we all have a duty, it's like a war.

Employers must be pushed to recognise all this. A slower economy and less productivity rather than a stalled economy and many more deaths. Children safe at home to get the lockdown over with.

Then in the summer we all turn on the government and demand answers and resignations. We vote for politicians who promise to put resilience into the system and who believe that social democracy needs a strong public sector with plenty of give in the system.

In theory this is spot on...

But in reality, there is no-one pushing the employers to recognise this. The husband earns far far more than the nurse and there is no legislation in place protecting his job or income if he underperforms because he is minding children. Losing his job is of significant loss to the entire family unit. So the options will be nurse giving up work to stay with children or them going to school. She is and has been making significant sacrifices already to work through this pandemic and we cannot expect a family to sacrifice their income in the hope the government will act later.

@Goldenbear

Oh and we are both at home but in no way tag teaming- I wish it was as organised as that. The idea that all these people WFH on 5 x their KW partner are some how unable to do their bit because of their massive incomes is laughable. If they are on that much they must be quite senior and can influence business decisions on this to an extent! Perhaps be pioneers and not except dangerous decisions on this situation !

Or their KW partner is a HCA/newly qualified nurse/PT doctor and they genuinely do earn 5 x that amount. (KW earning approx £20-5k, partner around £100k, very common in London). No one is indispensable and it is disingenuous to suggest that they should consider sacrificing the larger income for the 'greater good'

I think if you've made the decision to send your kid in, knowing that you are not actual a 'critical' worker as most people would consider it or are WFH so then you can't get all defensive about it. Just own it.

@ElsaSchraeder. That was me who said my husband can’t step up to take on more hours.

You are right that theoretically he could. However, he won’t and if he did it would impact on how his organisation views him (he has started relatively recently). It could also potentially impact on the organisation - which is a charity providing frontline services. Before lockdown he was working at least 6 hours at the weekend, started working at 5 am and often doesn’t finish until 9 pm. Without a major change he does not have enough flex to supervise the children’s learning. I work both days at the weekends to try and do more shifts without needing more days at school.

My hospital has put its surge capacity in place and needs every person it can get. I can not make my husband supervise the children, I do not want to jeopardise our income - so the choice is between the children going to school and me continuing to work 50 hours + a week on the covid wards, or no school attendance and halving the hours I am available.

@Jellycatspyjamas

Unfortunately it is clear that our government cannot be trusted to make decisions that I consider to be in the best interests of my family.
I am entitled to discuss this in whatever forum I want.

It is also clear that there are many parents taking the piss with school places and yes this does make me feel angry and judgemental when my child is stuck at home not receiving an education.

I think anyone with a genuine need for a place would not be bothered by any of the comments on here. Those who are feeling judged by it are fully aware that they could keep their children at home if they absolutely had to.

I am entitled to discuss this in whatever forum I want.

Discussion is one thing, asking individual posters to justify their decisions is quite another.

@Jellycatspyjamas

I am entitled to discuss this in whatever forum I want.

Discussion is one thing, asking individual posters to justify their decisions is quite another.

Absolutely agree

Nobody is being personal, this is a public forum discussing a topic that is hugely relevant to the wellbeing of all of us now.

Plenty if people are directly asking posters to justify their decisions and then stating their approval or otherwise. If that’s not getting personal I don’t know what is.

@Jellycatspyjamas
I don't think that's against Mumsnet rules, is it?
Numerous people have voluntarily come on this thread to justify why they are sending their children are coming into school. In doing they have opened themselves up to questioning