One key worker, child should stay home

[Areyouactuallyseriousrightnow]

Not sure if there has already been a thread but AIBU to think that if only one parent is key worker and other is WFH, child should be staying home as school provision is for key workers who cannot complete their important role if they have to look after child at home, not so that the other parent can continue with work without interruption?

My partner is a key worker, but I don’t consider us eligible as I am home and therefore technically can be with the children.

YABU- if there’s one key worker take that opportunity to send the child in.
YANBU- if there’s another parent at home, child should stay home.

But if a nurse's husband is an accountant easily able to work at home but is "extremely busy" then they should not be sending their kids in to a KW place

Suppose the husband in this scenario works full time, cannot home school and monitor small lively kids whilst working, and is the main breadwinner. Imagine the mum is a newly qualified nurse, or nursing assistant, working part time or bank shifts on a low wage. Whose job will the family prioritise? They have to pay their mortgage and outgoings.

So if the kids can’t get keyworker places the mum will likely have to quit her job or take leave, at a time when nurses and healthcare providers are in desperate need! The NHS needs as many staff working as possible.

They asked what I thought before I knew they were taking a place and I told them what I thought - in marginally softer terms!

@HikeForward

But if a nurse's husband is an accountant easily able to work at home but is "extremely busy" then they should not be sending their kids in to a KW place

Suppose the husband in this scenario works full time, cannot home school and monitor small lively kids whilst working, and is the main breadwinner. Imagine the mum is a newly qualified nurse, or nursing assistant, working part time or bank shifts on a low wage. Whose job will the family prioritise? They have to pay their mortgage and outgoings.

So if the kids can’t get keyworker places the mum will likely have to quit her job or take leave, at a time when nurses and healthcare providers are in desperate need! The NHS needs as many staff working as possible.

Maybe the accountant can ask his colleagues who are married to non-KW who work out of the home, how they are managing and pick up some tips, rather than let his wife sacrifice her career so that he can work without interruption?

*or his single parent WFH colleagues, they might also be able to assist.
Or he can whack on CBBC. Loads of options.

Where I live, both parents have to be keyworkers, have to evidence that they have asked to work from home, and also have to provide shift patterns.

I work regular hours (nurse) my husband works shifts (carer), so the kids would only qualify to be in 2 mornings a week at most.

So we have chosen to keep them at home and we will middle through.

We qualified for childcare last time, but it would have been in a central hub and we felt the disruption and increased risk was not worth it.

My NHS Managers stated it was perfectly fine for my 7yo to be at home alone.

It is an impossible situation, but I really wish the guidelines were the same over all local authorities.

The privilege of being able to 'scale back' @Schoolmummmy

Sick to death of people calling others 'smug', 'entitled' and 'selfish'. Personal circumstances are incomparable, as you yourself have pointed out when getting outraged that I dare suggest that being self employed may offer more flexibility than working for someone else.

Same storm, different boats.

@Mnusernc

That's a good point, my employer have offered letters to schools. They don't want us to refuse the places.

This is the big difference between WFH keyworkers and WFH non keyworkers. Keyworkers employers will generally provide them with a letter/email stating they are a keyworker and expect them to take up a keyworker school place and no difference to how/when they are able to work.

Non keyworkers employers might be frustrated and not very sympathetic but they know their employees can't access a school place and will likely need some flexibility.

Suppose the husband in this scenario works full time, cannot home school and monitor small lively kids whilst working, and is the main breadwinner. Imagine the mum is a newly qualified nurse, or nursing assistant, working part time or bank shifts on a low wage. Whose job will the family prioritise? They have to pay their mortgage and outgoings.

He works from home while doing childcare.

A bit like how thousands of women have done for a few days now, and since last March. Everyone is very busy, he isn't too special. If that means doing work on an evening then so be it.

@Whatafustercluck - Yes, people who take these places, in the scenarios previously outlined, are smug & entitled. No two ways about it. There are many non KW parent families, having to juggle the hassle of having their kids at home. And there are many people like myself..who have had to scale back. Do you think that’s an easy option?? Do you not think self-employed people have bills to pay too? No clearly not..just too busy defending the smug entitlement that is potentially extending this pandemic.

Also goes for partners of keyworkers. Their employers will likely expect them to take their children to school and therefore expect no drop in productivity.

@Schoolmummmy

You’re not coming across well calling people smug and entitled.

@Schoolmummmy I think you've made brilliant posts and made some excellent points. Some people just don't like the harsh truth

At the school I’m at governor at, they are only taking children of two kw parents (or kw for single parent families). Evidence and shift patterns have to be provided.
They can only take a limited number in addition to the vulnerable children. The teachers are dealing with the preparation and delivery of material to children at home and there aren’t enough TA’s to look after all the children in school for all the parents who were trying to get places.

[quote JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows]@Schoolmummmy I think you've made brilliant posts and made some excellent points. Some people just don't like the harsh truth[/quote]
Agree 💯

If smug and entitled = job security I'm happy to be called smug and entitled.

So let's clarify.
Both KW - send your kids to school.
Toddlers- send your kids to nursery or childminder if you must, if you have two non KW parents at home you can likely both juggle, so don't send them
Non KW - look after your children at home. Tell your employer you have to have flexibility, either to fit half your weekly hours into the night time or to scale back expectations of delivery.
KW with a non KW partner- the non KW partner does the above, looks after the children, just like a single mum would do.

I am really tired of this thread with people saying yes but I'm a social worker or I work in a university- you are a KW, this thread isn't about you!

The thread is about why it's OK for a single non KW parent (self employed, accountant, admin worker, whatever) to be expected to suck it up and wfh with the children, when a parent with the exact same job thinks it's ok to send the kids to school because they have a KW partner.

It's also about the KW partners making excuses for their (mostly) DHs- he's got a lot of calls, poor thing.

It's an utter nightmare to take care of kids and WFH. We used to think it was literally impossible. It isn't impossible- we all need to just do it, do the absolute minimum at work and get through this.

@ElsaSchraeder

So let's clarify. Both KW - send your kids to school. Toddlers- send your kids to nursery or childminder if you must, if you have two non KW parents at home you can likely both juggle, so don't send them Non KW - look after your children at home. Tell your employer you have to have flexibility, either to fit half your weekly hours into the night time or to scale back expectations of delivery. KW with a non KW partner- the non KW partner does the above, looks after the children, just like a single mum would do.

I am really tired of this thread with people saying yes but I'm a social worker or I work in a university- you are a KW, this thread isn't about you!

The thread is about why it's OK for a single non KW parent (self employed, accountant, admin worker, whatever) to be expected to suck it up and wfh with the children, when a parent with the exact same job thinks it's ok to send the kids to school because they have a KW partner.

It's also about the KW partners making excuses for their (mostly) DHs- he's got a lot of calls, poor thing.

It's an utter nightmare to take care of kids and WFH. We used to think it was literally impossible. It isn't impossible- we all need to just do it, do the absolute minimum at work and get through this.

Right, Mumsnet has spoken then!

Maybe the accountant can ask his colleagues who are married to non-KW who work out of the home, how they are managing and pick up some tips, rather than let his wife sacrifice her career so that he can work without interruption?

I suspect the accountant will prioritise keeping a roof over their heads and putting food on the table.

If he’s the main earner and home schooling will put his job at risk, the wife probably won’t want to work (even in the NHS). She’ll put her family first. Or she’ll utilise a keyworker place so she can work.

@ElsaSchraeder

So let's clarify. Both KW - send your kids to school. Toddlers- send your kids to nursery or childminder if you must, if you have two non KW parents at home you can likely both juggle, so don't send them Non KW - look after your children at home. Tell your employer you have to have flexibility, either to fit half your weekly hours into the night time or to scale back expectations of delivery. KW with a non KW partner- the non KW partner does the above, looks after the children, just like a single mum would do.

I am really tired of this thread with people saying yes but I'm a social worker or I work in a university- you are a KW, this thread isn't about you!

The thread is about why it's OK for a single non KW parent (self employed, accountant, admin worker, whatever) to be expected to suck it up and wfh with the children, when a parent with the exact same job thinks it's ok to send the kids to school because they have a KW partner.

It's also about the KW partners making excuses for their (mostly) DHs- he's got a lot of calls, poor thing.

It's an utter nightmare to take care of kids and WFH. We used to think it was literally impossible. It isn't impossible- we all need to just do it, do the absolute minimum at work and get through this.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

@MNnicknameforCVthreads - yes I agree. But my blood pressure really did rise at that comment
We all have bills to pay and a roof to keep over our heads. The mentality of people for thinking that the self employed people are privileged by being ‘able to scale back’ because they are not taking advantage of the gaping loophole that many others are cottoning on to...is just too much. It’s a topic I clearly feel strongly about. And seeing posts & messages from people we know, guffawing at the number of kids in their children’s class, and the great teaching they are getting in school...I’m sorry, it’s just too much. This situation will not sit well with many.

Surely self employed is a bigger risk as there's no guaranteed wage and workers rights at the end of it all?

@ElsaSchraeder

So let's clarify. Both KW - send your kids to school. Toddlers- send your kids to nursery or childminder if you must, if you have two non KW parents at home you can likely both juggle, so don't send them Non KW - look after your children at home. Tell your employer you have to have flexibility, either to fit half your weekly hours into the night time or to scale back expectations of delivery. KW with a non KW partner- the non KW partner does the above, looks after the children, just like a single mum would do.

I am really tired of this thread with people saying yes but I'm a social worker or I work in a university- you are a KW, this thread isn't about you!

The thread is about why it's OK for a single non KW parent (self employed, accountant, admin worker, whatever) to be expected to suck it up and wfh with the children, when a parent with the exact same job thinks it's ok to send the kids to school because they have a KW partner.

It's also about the KW partners making excuses for their (mostly) DHs- he's got a lot of calls, poor thing.

It's an utter nightmare to take care of kids and WFH. We used to think it was literally impossible. It isn't impossible- we all need to just do it, do the absolute minimum at work and get through this.

And what about non key workers who can't work from home at all? Why do people think everyone who isn't a key worker can do their jobs from home?

Self employed are those deserving of most sympathy because they can't cut back delivery without cutting back hours worked.

Like what kind of worker @Waxonwaxoff0? can you give some examples?

@Schoolmummmy

Do you realise that you can claim the SEISS grant if you’ve had to scale back due to childcare reasons (and meet the other criteria)?

I think what the PP meant was that the flexibility that being self employed offers is a privilege many employed people don’t have. Especially when the “scale” back is (more than in some cases) covered by the SEISS grant.