One key worker, child should stay home

[Areyouactuallyseriousrightnow]

Not sure if there has already been a thread but AIBU to think that if only one parent is key worker and other is WFH, child should be staying home as school provision is for key workers who cannot complete their important role if they have to look after child at home, not so that the other parent can continue with work without interruption?

My partner is a key worker, but I don’t consider us eligible as I am home and therefore technically can be with the children.

YABU- if there’s one key worker take that opportunity to send the child in.
YANBU- if there’s another parent at home, child should stay home.

We are both key workers DH WFH and I'm in the office. DH can't actually do his very vital job if he has to do childcare as well. Some of his work means that he organises life saving equipment deliveries with a 1hr SLA to arrive with a patient. He can't move away from his desk for 10 mins to prep a snack, calm a tantrum or set up home school while he is on shift. If he missed or delayed one of these tasks by even 10 mins then one of your loved ones could die.

He can't move away from his desk for 10 mins to prep a snack, calm a tantrum or set up home school while he is on shift.

What happens if he needs to do a 💩?

My DS2 works from home and so far he's had colleagues witness his son, aged 3 , had done a pooh and he needs his bum wiped. Or his daughter, aged 1 , climb into his lap and turn at people.It was far better when they had a child minder who'd take both.

What happens if he needs to do a 💩?

🤣 He’s far too busy and important for such things. Or maybe a potty under his desk? 🤷🏻‍♀️

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze

What happens if he needs to do a 💩?

🤣 He’s far too busy and important for such things. Or maybe a potty under his desk? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Going to the loo isn't the same as sorting food, snacks, overseeing a child - god some of you poster really don't have a clue what it's like to be in a responsive role

@AlwaysLatte

Our school put a letter out saying they will only offer a space if both parents are key workers or if a single parent is a key worker.

Same here. I am a key worker but DH is working from home, I would feel guilty taking up a key worker school place for our DC when we are able to manage.

BUT the problem is that individual jobs (whether key worker or not) vary so much, and a lot also depends on ages of DC and the number of DC you have! Our situation is manageable as I can fit home learning around part time working hours and our DC are (a) all junior school age and above and (b) pretty independent/willing to get work done. But I'm well aware that this is very much not the situation for everyone!

Either he is being untruthful, you have misunderstood, he was worryingly neglectful of his children, or the story is highly imaginative.

None of the above. Just a bloke who was willing to be flexible with his job and didn’t expect his wife to take it all on or give up her job. I’ve already said he didn’t find it easy, who would. But he had no choice so he did cope. Believe what you want, it really doesn’t matter to me what you believe.

@Happychristmashohoho

“If your a fecking sahm you look after your kids, not send them to school because your to feckin lazy to look after them yourself”

Did this actually happen? I agree is appalling if true.

Far fewer people sent their children in last time than had the right to. I'm sure a few people took the piss but they're a tiny minority.

But some people have loved the opportunity of covid to tar others as lazy, feckless, reckless and more, and to try to ensure no-one is perceived to have a better time than them. It's really depressing, and I say that as someone who is not a key worker, nor in a relationship with one.

At our nursery the places were firstly allocated to families with 2 key worker parents. Once those had gone, if there were any left they were offered to those with 1 keyworker parent on a first come first served basis. Seemed fair to me.

NothingIsWrong As plenty of people have explained, that will often mean that the keyworker stops working to maintain the job of the (usually) higher paid partner. Is that a desirable outcome?

Plenty people are having to take unpaid leave. What about single mothers who aren’t key workers? They have too. Just because your on a high salary makes you any different?

@finkking

He can't move away from his desk for 10 mins to prep a snack, calm a tantrum or set up home school while he is on shift.

What happens if he needs to do a 💩?

Clearly someone with no idea what a responsive role entails, or caring for young children.

It's somewhat more demanding caring for a child than nipping to the loo (and if anyone can calm a tantrum in under 10 minutes tell me your secrets).

It was a joke relax although some time my poohs are more stressful then fetching my kids a snack! 😆

@Blueeyesparkle

NothingIsWrong As plenty of people have explained, that will often mean that the keyworker stops working to maintain the job of the (usually) higher paid partner. Is that a desirable outcome?

Plenty people are having to take unpaid leave. What about single mothers who aren’t key workers? They have too. Just because your on a high salary makes you any different?

Yet again, you are missing the point.

As multiple posters keep on repeating:
Keyworker = lower pay
In many cases their partners = high earners
No childcare = keyworker taking unpaid leave
Fewer keyworkers = essential roles unfulfilled, cancelled medical appointments, closed hospital wards, bins not emptied, shelves not filled etc etc

The above situation is detriment to society, not the individual family. If we do not have childcare, I will happily take unpaid work/quit and care for my children. The cost to my family in lost wages is negligible. The cost to my team, the service we provide and NHS organisation if all staff with young children made the same decision is far far more significant. And you/ your family will have the consequences if you were to need to use our service.

Or maybe a potty under his desk?

That's what I envisaged! 🤣

I'm a key worker in a responsible role & DH has a "important" job. We homeschooled 1 young dc & looked after a toddler last lockdown. It was the most stressful time of my life & looking after dc correctly is impossible when trying to work. However I think it's a bit of a stretch to say fetching an apple is an impossible task.

The problem is that there is always some people who take the piss, so yes, I think school should be offered to families only who have 2 Keyworker parents or a single parent who is a key worker.

In lockdown 1, my DC were unable to get a space at school even though DH and I are front-line NHS workers because spaces were offered on first come, first served served basis. Some of these families had 1 parent as key worker and sending their DC to school gave the other parent the opportunity to enjoy hobbies, decorate the house or do up their boat! Not everyone does the right thing and is in it together hence it needs tighter regulation.

@Alfaix our DC are also at an independent school. They have a 2 keyworker policy - given that there are hardly any 2 key worker families in the school, i and many other 1 keyworker families are unimpressed by this. It has coloured our view of the school somewhat - last time they were very keen to help parents keep jobs to help them pay fees.

I’m going to add a cautionary tale. My DH is a key worker and I can wfh. We could have had a place in lockdown 1, and if one key worker wasn’t enough my psychologist was prepared to intervene to support my mental health. But a friend of mine guilted me - and others - into doing the “right” thing calling us selfish. So DH and I did crazy split shifts to keep DD at home. So at first when DH was incredibly tired etc. we thought that was why. Over the months it became clearer that something more was wrong and ultimately it was a serious illness. The treatment now is brutal and my mental health needs more treatment too. What if we had done what seemed right for us at the time instead of listening to to someone who had no place to judge? Might have been better for us and the NHS too. DD has a place this time.

@finkking

He can't move away from his desk for 10 mins to prep a snack, calm a tantrum or set up home school while he is on shift.

What happens if he needs to do a 💩?

DH is the sort of man to consider having a 💩 before bed, then choose to 'bake it' till morning. He has scheduled in breaks where these emergency tasks don't come to him but it's not manual, if he nips away when not on a scheduled break then one can pop up on his screen and the clock starts ticking on it.

He actually finds it incredibly stressful and distressing at times, especially when he has to speak to a relative because the intended recipient has passed away before he could get the delivery to them. DH has MH issues and IMO he shouldn't be on this task but he won't speak to work about coming off it.

You should tell him to speak to his work.

Because the key workers are often the worse paid between 2 working parents. Asking key workers to continue working through dangerous covid circumstances is one thing. Asking them to also risk their families' higher income is a bit much, imo.

We need to remember that that whole point of the exercise (closing the schools) is to cut the spread and get it back under control. This can't happen if everyone is continuing to attend school.
This means ideally all kids will be isolated at home and looked after by their parents.
Now, at the same time certain 'key' jobs need to be done to keep the country functioning, do the people that do these rules have to be able to do them.
By offering key workers kids places in schools we basically acnowledge that you can't work effectively, home educate and provide childcare all at the same time. Or quite simply some people cannot be at home.
This leaves non key workers between a rock and a hard place. Something has to give - at least a little. The government should have also impressed upon all employers (and provided help to achieve this) that they also have a role to play by being flexible towards working parents. And not penalising parents in the future either.
The simple fact is not everyone can work from home and like it or not (and this is a MN pet hate) school is childcare, and families have organised employment etc upon children being at school.

I don't know what the answer is though, and I certainly don't envy those having to make these decisions either.
I'm technically a key worker (I have letters from my employer confining it and from a national body too) but have been working from home since march, and a single parent. I'm not entitled to a place as our region require both parents (or single parents) to be KW and not working from home by and to not have any other childcare option.

I think it depends on cases in the area and on how many children there will consequently be at the school. If people send their children to school when they don't really need to, and there are therefore a lot of children at school cases will continue to rise exponentially.

I think the poster is right. The number of people we know who are ‘technically’ key workers yet working from home, and not even both parents I should add..it’s a p* take imo. Yet they’ll try to justify it whatever way they can, as if those of us who also wfh but just not a role on that list...have lesser demands?? No I’m sorry, the scheme is intended for workers who are essential to the smooth running of the country AND work outside the home!

And I should add, we live in an area that is one of the highest rates in the country...yet parents with just one key worker..both wfh, are sending their kids into school. Our neighbour is a teacher, and nearly 60% of her class will be in school. Needs to be tightened up..we either lock down, or we don’t. And these are often the people worrying most about catching covid...yet still feel entitled to send their kids into school..to mix with every other Tom Dick & Harry who has parents sat at home...