To really hate the loud, selfish celebrations & fireworks people have outside on NYE?

[LdnMum94]

I'm laid in bed exhausted and pissed off.

My autistic three year old has been woken three times in the run up to midnight, by endless fireworks exploding outside our house, so loud and close that they terrified him out of a deep sleep. By the third time he was woken he was so distressed he was smashing his head on the floor

In between the hundreds of bangs coming from all angles there are drunk people screaming "happy new year!" and "woohoooooo!" that can be heard in here as clear as day, as though they think it's welcome, or simply don't care.

Not everybody is seeing in the new year by getting drunk, and not all of those who are having a drink feel the need to take their fanfare into the street, giving not one shit about elderly/vulnerable neighbours or people who have to be up for work.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable?

I find it really odd that most of us are aware that the NHS are close or are being overwhelmed, yet thought it was a good idea to set off fireworks in back gardens. In 2018 just under 2000 people needed treatment for firework related injuries, the year before it was around 4000. Sure - have a celebration, but if we're serious about protecting the NHS then the sale of fireworks should be banned during times like these.

@Dee1975

It’s one night and it’s expected. I was woken in the night too. But it’s just one of those things. So yes you are being unreasonable. People have been letting off fireworks on NYE long before you had children.

Not sure that that's true. My recollection is that it's really only been a general thing since 2000.

My post asked whether people thought i was being unreasonable to be pissed off, I didn't imply or insinuate that they were unreasonable to be setting off fireworks and screeching in the street?

Of course you implied it by posing the very question, by your subsequent comments, including this one and the use of the words 'in the streets' and 'screeching'. You've hardly been neutral here.

YANBU OP. Fireworks should be banned unless its an organised display at a suitable venue. Even then - it's loud bangs and lights in the sky. What is so entertaining about that?
Unfortunately many people have the 'I'll do what pleases me and stuff everyone else' attitude these days. And frankly I don't care if I sound miserable. As others have pointed out, the NHS is already apparently close to being overwhelmed, without adding the need to treat injuries from idiotic people who set off fireworks in their gardens.

Yabu, it's a tradition to stay up to midnight. I'm not keen on the fireworks but some people love them. I do suggest you need to speak to your specialist about desensitisation to fireworks and other loud noise if it's that distressing for your don, that's not normal even for autism. The only being in our house that hates fireworks is the dog so it's a case of very loud tv!

Why do fireworks have to be so loud these days? It is perfectly possible to have quiet fireworks.

Last night sounded like a scene from the first world war round here.

OP and other posters with frightened children, pets and those with PTSD, I hope you all managed to get a good night's sleep in the end

Not to mention you calling people 'selfish' in your title of course!!

Personally I also find it selfish when others seek to restrict what others can do based upon their needs. And I think that it's even worse when they accuse others of being selfish, inhumane, cruel to animals and children, the planet and the NHS etc in order to try and gain the moral upper hand in order to supress the views or wishes of others!

YANBu.Since the Millennium it seems to have grown,and not just NYE round here.10 minute or so around midnight fair enough but last night the first lot went off at 5pm then there were sporadic outbursts until midnight when the loudest and longest lot of fireworks I've ever heard went off.Too much tbh.Yes we all need some cheer at the moment but I'm pretty sure these weren't all individual households celebrating sensibly.

Yabu

It woke my kid up and I spent ages getting her back to sleep

But it's one night a year !

Not sure that that's true. My recollection is that it's really only been a general thing since 2000.

So, for a generation then?

The OP's son is a lot younger than twenty one.

@Sockbogies

I find it really odd that most of us are aware that the NHS are close or are being overwhelmed, yet thought it was a good idea to set off fireworks in back gardens. In 2018 just under 2000 people needed treatment for firework related injuries, the year before it was around 4000. Sure - have a celebration, but if we're serious about protecting the NHS then the sale of fireworks should be banned during times like these.

I do actually think you have a point. I felt the same at Bonfire Night

Let people have some fun. It was expected especially after such a shitty year and less public displays would also mean people would do backyard fireworks. I say this as a dog owner and mother of a light sleeping small child.

To be honest, the fireworks are doing a good job reminding me that there are other people around and the whole world hasn't succumbed to doom and gloom.

But I get that you're exhausted op. I hope you have an easier day x

@doasitell

I think this year I've noticed more people doing it maybe because most have had to spend NYE at home. The fireworks started at around 11.30pm and went on until 1am where I live which is near central London. I totally understand as it's not ideal and I have a toddler as well that woke up several times but 1-2 hours once a year is fine and people have had such a shit year that they kind of felt so excited about leaving 2020 behind is understandable. I'm sorry about your dc and hopefully next year we would be back to normal and more people will be too busy partying than staying at home lighting fireworks. Happy New Year to you all and I really hope this Covid just pisses off asap.

Yes 1-2 hours once a year would be a absolutely fine, if that's what is was. Here they started about 6pm and went on until sometime after 00.30. From 11.50 until about 00.20 it felt like being in a war zone. They've also been going off most nights since mid October so it really isn't just once a year.

I'm an adult who is terrified of fireworks, I spent the worst half hour last night and most of Bonfire night shaking and in tears. On several occasions in between I've been left shaken by a massively loud firework.

So making excessive noise in the middle of the night in residential spaces is a-ok because that’s a ‘right’ but expecting to be able to be in your own home without being forced to be part of it isn’t?

I mean I fully expect fireworks a few nights of the year, including New Years, but let’s not pretend that they’re a confined form of entertainment. By their very nature they will be intruding on someone else’s space uninvited. Ditto shouting and screaming in residential spaces. If you’re going to do that then accept that some people are going to think you’re a dick because they neither asked nor wanted to be part of it.

It’s fine for people to have celebrations and it’s fine for others to be disturbed by them. Understanding and acceptance doesn’t automatically wipe out the irritation or difficulties caused for others (small children, pets, people without capacity don’t really get ‘why’ there’s disruption). Enjoy yourself but it’s not on to have a go at people because your actions have upset them - they have a right to their feelings too.

I think we need to petition parliament to ban the sale of fireworks to the general public, and reserve them for professional displays.
Or perhaps allow the sale of silent fireworks, that can produce beautiful colourful effects in the sky without the distressing ear splitting explosions. There is absolutely no need to inflict that bloody racket on unwilling neighbours- it’s beyond selfish.

At least it drowns out the racket of stupid dogs barking.

We had it in the evening. Then at midnight. Then at 1am. I was ready to explode myself by then!

I couldn't tell you what time they started around here exactly, but it was no later than around 6pm.

Bombs going off, silence, bombs going off, silence, rinse and repeat.

Perhaps you feel bitter and angry and need to talk to someone op.

You probably need to talk to somebody yourself. Happy people seldom patronize others, especially fellow parents who have expressed their distress at seeing their three year disabled child traumatised.

I do suggest you need to speak to your specialist about desensitisation to fireworks and other loud noise if it's that distressing for your don, that's not normal even for autism

There is no 'normal' when it comes to autism, but as your message hints that you may have autistic loved ones then you should already know that really.

But it's one night a year

Bonfire night, New Years, Chinese New Year, Diwali - way more than one night. At least fireworks are expected for most; there’s a significant minority that also set them off around exam results time, birthdays etc.

It would seem a fair compromise to at least legislate to reduce their strength. It makes a huge difference how much space people have to set them off and when they’re set off in matchbox gardens they can be room shakingly loud.

for others who had a restless night.

I agree that a large part of the problem is the type of fireworks. They are just obnoxiously loud and have no place outside of organised displays, well away from residential areas.

I've seen enough fire works throughout my life to know that they're not all deafening, so people purposefully seeking out the bomb ones are just anti-social.

Ditto the pissed/drugged up people who were outside my window screaming their heads off last night, following up by smashing bottles.

I just thought ‘we are lucky it’s just sodding fireworks and not actual bombs going off’. Still, if I got a hold of the buggers banging away at 1am...

It must be very hard for you/ your ds op and I'm sorry about that.

Last night was the loudest and brightest nye I can remember, I think people did it as a massive fuck off to 2020 and I can't blame them for that. I enjoyed the 'togetherness' it brought our local community, even though we didn't set our own fireworks off. It was a lovely cheerful display - much needed in my opinion. And I would much rather people did this than gather together in huge groups.

We have two cats, made sure they were safely inside from early evening and had access to all rooms and hiding places, bumped the music up. 10yo ds watched the fireworks with us outside and 4yo dd slept right through them (luckily, because she's not a big fan of fireworks).

I hope you have a happy and healthy new year, op.

Adversion to loud noise is actually “normal” for autism but thanks for the ignorance.
Intensive sound sensitivity is actually a very common part of autism.

You're not unreasonable to feel annoyed that your son has been woken up, I can understand your concern for him and your annoyance, but you are unreasonable to think party-goers should never yell out or have fireworks on NYE. It's unfortunate for your son, but people can't stop living for your son. Unfortunately there's nothing you can really do but ride it out.