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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can you love a dog as much as a child?

490 replies

Bluemooninmyeyes1 · 31/12/2020 23:11

I’m not a dog owner and I don’t have children so I’m pretty clueless on this subject but genuinely interested! I work with someone who talks about her dog more than her own daughter and is constantly posting photos of her dog on social media.

So..is it possible to love your dog as much as your kids?

YABU- You cannot love a dog as much as a child

YANBU- You can definitely love a dog as much as a child

OP posts:
formerbabe · 01/01/2021 18:39

My animals feel that void and I would never want to go through the pain of losing an animal I love like that again. I don't think that makes me selfish

It doesn't make you selfish...I don't think any of us actively want to experience loss. Your response to your loss sounds quite extreme and its good you're getting help for it...I hope you will feel better in time.

FuckTheLemons · 01/01/2021 18:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

Yohoheaveho · 01/01/2021 18:41

Choosing to save your pet over an unknown child is absolutely sociopathic behaviour. It's shows unbelievable selfishness and a shocking lack of empathy
yup! that's a 'trump level' empathy deficit and no mistake!

isabellanova · 01/01/2021 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FixItUpChappie · 01/01/2021 18:47

Our dog is lovely but loving an animal more than your child is massively fucked up IMO.

formerbabe · 01/01/2021 18:49

If you read my last post properly I wasn't in the slightest bit nasty to you...like I said, it's good you're getting help and I hope you feel better soon.

TJ17 · 01/01/2021 18:58

Nope.

TJ17 · 01/01/2021 18:59

@Bluemooninmyeyes1

I know it’s not really relevant to my OP but I do have a pet cat and I can honestly say I would put her above some family members!
You clearly don't have children though do you.

You can only answer this question if you have both.

Porcupineintherough · 01/01/2021 19:03

@isabellanova it is precisely because an animsl is not a child that your response sounds extreme. But as you have no children I can see why your feelings for your pets are so strong. The love I felt for my dog as a teenager was similar to the love I would later feel for my children (not in intensity and complexity but it was made of the same stuff).

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 19:13

The total disdain people like @isabellanova have for human life chills me to the bones.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 19:16

I can't trust anyone who doesn't like animals. I wouldn't want a person like that in my life anyway.

I don't dislike animals, I mostly dislike dogs, but I will register myself as a good person thanks as I love humans.

rooarsome · 01/01/2021 19:19

I love my dog but nowhere near on the same level as my children. It's a different type of love as well.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 19:24

Well I can only say I respect your opinion, but I don't feel or believe the same. Nobody can really give a reason why, other than their belief that humans are automatically better than animals

I gave about 4 reasons up thread if you'd care to look

Vates · 01/01/2021 19:27

I adore (madly in love) with my Sister's dogs. I also adore my Nephew and he would always come first in a life or death situation, no questions asked. Doesn't mean I don't find sometimes spending time with him hard, he's lovely but a typical 3 year old and I have never wanted to be a parent. I find my peace snuggled with my Sister's dogs, that is my ultimate happy place to be. My dream would be to rent a property with a garden so I could have a dog of my own.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 19:29

Mildly upset for a short period of time?

Losing a child is not the same as losing a dog.

For starters we except to far outlive our dogs. Yes it's upsetting of course and I always sorely missed the dogs we lost growing up, but to lose a human person is beyond devastating. My cousin's baby just died aged 1 of cancer and, despite having o lot met him once due to the pandemic, I feel like I've lost a limb. His parents are utterly heartbroken and will never truly recover. It's not just or natural to die aged 1 - most dogs live to the age they should. The devastation of a child dying is not comparable to a dog and you know it too so stop this ridiculous obtuse "oh but why is it different" bullshit

Whatamess582 · 01/01/2021 19:31

I personally couldn’t but I know someone who had a dog before she had kids and even after the kids arrived she talked of her dog as her ‘first born’. It really weirded me out for some unknown reason. I love my dog. But I’ve been very clear from the start that it’s just a dog and I will do my very best for him but there will be no running into burning buildings for him, or jumping into stormy seas or even standing between him and a rabid pit bull or Alsatian.

Yohoheaveho · 01/01/2021 19:33

You wouldn't say that if the cat had been a person
but what if the cat was a flea, or an amoeba?
what if the cat was a feather, or a figment of a dogs imagination....

formerbabe · 01/01/2021 19:34

Yes I cannot stand the faux questioning as to why a human life is worth more than the life of an animal. If you truly see the life of an ant as equivalent to a human life then you're pretty much beyond help.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 19:45

Calling my response to loss 'extreme' is really not fair. You wouldn't say that if the cat had been a person

That's because the death of humans is more devastating than that of animals.

Are you the friend of @LindaEllen who told someone she knew how she felt losing her child to cancer because you lost your pet?

Thatsmygrandma · 01/01/2021 19:46

I don't have or want children or dogs (though I'll listen to stories and look at pictures of either) so I'm definitely not qualified to answer but here it is anyway; I don't know how anyone could love/choose a dog over their child. To me it's really odd. I would definitely save a strangers baby over a dog if I could only save one because I believe the people who 'own' the baby would be worse off for not having their baby than the dog owner. I also value human life over animal life and I believe a baby has a greater 'right' to life than a baby.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 01/01/2021 19:49

Who thinks like this though? I remember seeing a thread about whether people loved their kids or partner more. I thought that one was a bit strange as well. Everyone I know just lives with their partners, kids and animals and gives them all what they need/want. Not one of them have had to make the decision of who to save from a burning building because thankfully that stuff rarely happens. Why does there have to be a competition of who loves who most? It’s quite a fucked up way of thinking in my opinion.

Terracottasaur · 01/01/2021 19:54

I do think it’s hard to understand if you don’t have your own children. I hated it when people said that before I had my son - I thought it sounded so judgmental and condescending. I didn’t believe others understood how much I love my animals, and I didn’t think anyone could actually say that love for a child was different.

But since I had my baby I do feel differently. The love you have for them is so powerful it makes you feel borderline feral. There is instantly nothing you wouldn’t do to protect them, no length you wouldn’t go to to keep them safe. I am an emotional and loving person who has always felt things very deeply but truly nothing prepared me for the life-altering love I have for my son.

I feel shitty saying it because of how much it annoyed me before. I didn’t want to hear that before I had children. But I can’t help what I know now.

MacDuffsMuff · 01/01/2021 19:59

@Terracottasaur 100% agree with every word of your post. When I had my son I certainly didn't suddenly love my dog any less, but what I felt for DS was so overwhelming it was incomparable.

Lockheart · 01/01/2021 20:07

@GlummyMcGlummerson

I can't trust anyone who doesn't like animals. I wouldn't want a person like that in my life anyway.

I don't dislike animals, I mostly dislike dogs, but I will register myself as a good person thanks as I love humans.

Given how you're persistently bullying one poster on this thread I don't think you have any claim to that at all.
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