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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can you love a dog as much as a child?

490 replies

Bluemooninmyeyes1 · 31/12/2020 23:11

I’m not a dog owner and I don’t have children so I’m pretty clueless on this subject but genuinely interested! I work with someone who talks about her dog more than her own daughter and is constantly posting photos of her dog on social media.

So..is it possible to love your dog as much as your kids?

YABU- You cannot love a dog as much as a child

YANBU- You can definitely love a dog as much as a child

OP posts:
isabellanova1 · 01/01/2021 22:24

@formerbabe

I don't want to fight with you *@isabellanova1* especially if you were so affected by your pets death....but for most people who lose a pet, it is a mild sadness and doesn't affect the rest of their life.
It's nice to meet an expert on how 'most people' feel. Say hi to 'most people' for me next time you meet up. I think you are taking your own experience, and applying it to 'most people' whilst failing to recognise that most people are actually different and experience grief differently. You can scroll through this thread and find lots of examples where people have been profoundly effected by the loss of an animal.

As for not effecting the rest of your life, I think you could say the same about losing a relative. When I lost my parents and grandpa, I was sad for a while but it hasn't effected the rest of my life. Haven't got children so can't comment on that one.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 01/01/2021 22:24

This thread is barking.

Geordieoldgirl · 01/01/2021 22:26

We all love our dog but our 3 DS and I are convinced that their DF loves the dog more than any of us!

MaudHatter · 01/01/2021 22:27

Not if you have children

theThreeofWeevils · 01/01/2021 22:30

You pick whose loss will have the biggest impact surely not on who feels the most pain?
or on the basis of which one would be prepared to put oneself at risk for, given that in my jurisdiction, unlike some, there is no legal obligation to assist. A known pet of great value to oneself versus a random and to one, fungible, child... It's not as clear-cut as some might like it to be.

MessAllOver · 01/01/2021 22:30

If you were stuck on a desert island, would you eat your dog or your child first?

bluetongue · 01/01/2021 22:32

I suspect most people feel more than ‘mild sadness’ when a much lived pet dies. For me it was real grief and yes, I took a couple of days off work to deal with it (not sick leave before anyone starts.)

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 01/01/2021 22:33

If you were stuck on a desert island, would you eat your dog or your child first?

🤣

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 01/01/2021 22:34

If you were stuck on a desert island, would you eat your dog or your child first

Fish, if that’s OK with you.

SquidInALid · 01/01/2021 22:34

How is this even a thread?
Mumsnet blows my mind sometimes.
Of course not.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 01/01/2021 22:35

Fish, if that’s OK with you.

I’m vegan so YABU. 🤣

Porcupineintherough · 01/01/2021 22:37

@bluetongue I suspect that's true but people do go into pet ownership knowing they will ultimately lose their pet*. I think few of us would have children if we knew we'd lose them.

*well actually not me, I have tortoises specifically because I get so upset at losing my pets. But I still dont think it compares to the death of a child.

MessAllOver · 01/01/2021 22:37

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze.

So ethically you'd have to eat your child? Assuming of course you don't classify humans as animals.

Is cannibalism more ethical for a vegan than eating animals?

Catlover77 · 01/01/2021 22:39

Yes definitely Smile

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 01/01/2021 22:40

Why would ever be on a desert island with my child and my dog?

The dug will go hunting and will bring us squirrels and will sit by my side while my child gently nibbles on some squirrel ribs.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 22:40

@theThreeofWeevils

You pick whose loss will have the biggest impact surely not on who feels the most pain? or on the basis of which one would be prepared to put oneself at risk for, given that in my jurisdiction, unlike some, there is no legal obligation to assist. A known pet of great value to oneself versus a random and to one, fungible, child... It's not as clear-cut as some might like it to be.
It really is.
MessAllOver · 01/01/2021 22:46

@ChardonnaysPetDragon. But, if you get to know the squirrels, you may find that you like them better than your child. Especially given the thought of having to entertain said child for months on end without an ipad until a passing ship picks you up.

Hence why, a few days in, it might be you, the dog and the squirrels nibbling gently on the child's ribs.

Holyrivolli · 01/01/2021 22:47

These threads always become batshit bonkers with crazy never going to happen scenarios being listed.

As it happens I love my kids more than my dog however I love my dog way more than a random child or adult. To throw a curve ball into these hysterically pointless and improbable scenarios - my kids first absolutely, someone else’s young child probably but someone’s ancient granny then no.

merrymouse · 01/01/2021 22:48

If anyone genuinely thought they would love a dog as much as a child, they wouldn’t get a dog. Their life spans are too short.

Wellthisismorethanabitgrim · 01/01/2021 22:49

*Because we have complex relationships with them, they are our species, we've borne them, we are supposed to value them above anything.

I'm at a loss as to why anyone question this TBH*

I agree with you up to a point, but I don't think it's that straightforward. There are billions of people on this planet that I have no relationship with at all whatsoever. Objectively I know a human death is 'worse' than the death of a pet, of course it is. But the death of a stranger, or a stranger's child, is abstract to me - I can appreciate it is a terrible loss to those who loved them, I can empathise with the pain they will feel, but it doesn't change my life in any way, and it isn't a loss to me in a personal sense. It might upset me a bit in passing to hear about it if it was a tragic death, but I probably wouldn't give it much thought after that. However, if anything happened to my dog, I would be absolutely devastated for a very long time, particularly if that involved a level of pain and suffering that I could somehow have prevented (in the burning building scenario everyone seems so keen to discuss!). So whilst you can say we are supposed to value other humans above anything, on an emotional level I care about my dog far more than I care about 99.99999999999% of humans, simply because I don't know them. Maybe that makes me a bit odd, it probably does, but I'm pretty sure I'm not a psychopath. I'm just hoping I don't ever get stuck in a burning building with a choice to make!

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 01/01/2021 22:49

In that case I shall eat whoever is the fattest, be it a child, a dog or a bloody squirrel.

Haggertyjane · 01/01/2021 22:50

No, kids always first

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 01/01/2021 22:51

Far children first.

Livpool · 01/01/2021 22:51

Some of the replies on here are batshit. Most people would save a human over any other species because we have evolved to place ourselves above other species.

As an aside of course I love my child more that I could love an animal. My DM had pets and PIL have a dog but it is weird to 'own' another being but then suggest it stays with you out of love and loyalty. They stay with your because you feed them.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 01/01/2021 22:53

Is cannibalism more ethical for a vegan than eating animals?

It’s a tough one. Can I phone a friend? 🤣

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