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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can you love a dog as much as a child?

490 replies

Bluemooninmyeyes1 · 31/12/2020 23:11

I’m not a dog owner and I don’t have children so I’m pretty clueless on this subject but genuinely interested! I work with someone who talks about her dog more than her own daughter and is constantly posting photos of her dog on social media.

So..is it possible to love your dog as much as your kids?

YABU- You cannot love a dog as much as a child

YANBU- You can definitely love a dog as much as a child

OP posts:
ArosAdraDrosDolig · 01/01/2021 13:38

I agree about the loss. I will be devastated when my dogs die but if my child died I don’t know how I’d ever breathe again and I would die to save them. I wouldn’t die to save my dogs although I would possibly risk my physical safety to rescue them.

If my child became severely allergic or something, the dog would have to go. I couldn’t put my dog behind my child no matter what.

lindaellen that woman is a c**t of the highest order.

PopcornAndWine · 01/01/2021 13:42

Wow, I really hope @Shadow21 was just being goady. Bloody terrifying if not.

Personally I think that if someone was ever in the position to save either a dog or a human - any human - and they chose the dog, they should face a manslaughter charge...

middleager · 01/01/2021 13:44

Not all pet owners replace pets by the way! My beloved cat died last year and she is irreplaceable. The thought of another cat is inconceivable, so don't assume everybody does this.

MyDogsAreBeautiful · 01/01/2021 13:44

Exactly - but they'd get another dog to fill the void. More children will never fill the void. My cousin who just lost her 1yo to cancer is due her 2nd in six months. This baby won't be a replacement of her son or fill the void he left.

The dog we got recently will never fill the void of the puppy we lost at 8 months to cancer. I don’t really understand anyone that thinks you can fill the void left by losing a dog, it doesn’t work that way for me. I can’t speak for everyone but personally I can’t replace or fill the void by just getting new. We got another dog because we felt we could offer another dog a good home and to help our other dog who the vet said had depression after losing her best friend. And because we live animals.

I’m very sorry for your families loss.

MyDogsAreBeautiful · 01/01/2021 13:45

love

danadas · 01/01/2021 13:47

No,my dog is cool but not comparable with my children.

Tbh, I would save any human before any animal; even my own pets.

hiredandsqueak · 01/01/2021 13:59

No not for me although my adult dc would say their father loves his dog more than them and I'd find it hard to argue otherwise.

Thatsmycupoftea · 01/01/2021 14:05

This thread is literally one of the most batshit things I have ever read

OuchAndOuchSomeMore · 01/01/2021 14:42

@GlummyMcGlummerson

I think the petting and stroking and stopping of strangers is because a lot of people find animals cute in a way they just don't with other people's kids.

Or perhaps it's because it's no really acceptable to stroke other people's kids. Which, as I said earlier, shows how we MUST be valuing our children more - we are wary of strangers pawing at our kids, but our dogs are fair game.

Or perhaps lots of people just don't find your kids that cute/interesting to coo over compared to animals.

I really do believe a lot of people do find animals cuter that human children 🤷 I am one and I know plenty of others who'd say the same.

Not to say we'd choose to save one over a human or whatnot. But definitely find them cuter to look at hence stopping to coo over a dog and not a toddler.

There will be social norms / acceptability included in that of course but I genuinely believe a lot of people just don't find human kids that cute. Don't think there's anything weird about that personally.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 14:57

I really do believe a lot of people do find animals cuter that human children

Oh I've no doubt they do! What I'm saying is, if you're like me and have no interest in dogs but have an urge to coo over and paw at children, very few people actually do because they want to respect a parent's and child's boundaries. It's really not socially acceptable! But is no indication of how I feel about the cuteness of their child. I've rarely seen a child I don't think is adorable!

NuniaBeeswax · 01/01/2021 15:15

Why is MN so obsessed with this topic?

Hoppinggreen · 01/01/2021 15:19

I love MY children more than my dog
But I love/care about my dog much more than any other children

Puddingypops · 01/01/2021 15:24

Ok let’s quickly summarise the obvious.

No you do not love a dog more than your children. But you do love your dog.
Dogs also are excellent at filling a void in people who naturally want to nurture and love and be loved in return, much like, but not the same as, a child.
Dogs are fucking brilliant.

BeautyAndTheBump1 · 01/01/2021 15:25

I had a dog prior to children and loved her like a 'first born' but then ive just had a baby and baby has definitely taken 1st spot. Still love the dog of course, but she is no longer my 'number 1 baby'

GrolliffetheDragon · 01/01/2021 15:34

Exactly - but they'd get another dog to fill the void.

It doesn't fill the void though. Last time we got another cat it was for our surviving cat who was lost on his own, luckily it worked out and they were great friends. It didn't lessen my grief, in fact in the short term at least it increased it.

My love for DS is greater than my love for anyone else, including the cats, but the cats are family members and I prefer their company to the company of most people.

saraclara · 01/01/2021 15:34

I remember my mum friend talking about her dog (who wasn't doing well at the time) years ago. She was worried about him and talking in general about his place in the family. She said "we love him just as much as we did before we had (toddler), but now, he's a dog". And that sums it up for me. When your pet is your only family, you see them as more than a pet. But when you have kids, your pet is just that. A pet.

Thewithesarehere · 01/01/2021 16:19

@Thatsmycupoftea

This thread is literally one of the most batshit things I have ever read
You bet... While Doing some research couple of days ago, I went down a rabbit hole and found how big and unregulated the dog market is in the U.K. Based on that, a lot of emotionally vulnerable people are manipulated by this market. This of course creates another set of serious problems for both dog owners and the people around them but that is a completely separate fiasco in itself.
Peace43 · 01/01/2021 16:56

I love my dog and my DD. If I had to save only one from a burning building it would be DD but I’d be heartbroken over the dog! We had dogs all my life and we often talk fondly and lovingly of past dogs who died 40 odd years ago!!

Branleuse · 01/01/2021 17:12

I think many people really get a lot from the uncomplicated unjudgemental love of a dog. It can be much more than they feel for most people.
I dont think its healthy to love your dog more than your actual kids, but it definitely happens

2021optimist · 01/01/2021 17:34

@Aquamarine1029

You love your dog as if they were your child... Until you actually have a child.
This. You think you are loving the dog as much as a parent loves a child but until you have a child, how can you know what that really feels like? People saying this to me when I had beloved dogs and no kids, drove me MAD, but it is true.
2021optimist · 01/01/2021 17:36

@Puddingypops

Ok let’s quickly summarise the obvious.

No you do not love a dog more than your children. But you do love your dog.
Dogs also are excellent at filling a void in people who naturally want to nurture and love and be loved in return, much like, but not the same as, a child.
Dogs are fucking brilliant.

Perfect.
isabellanova · 01/01/2021 17:38

This reply has been deleted

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isabellanova · 01/01/2021 17:40

Apologies @PopcornAndWine. I just noticed that you didn't say child but that you were referring to just a fellow human. The same points still apply (still entitled IMO, etc) but I got mixed up with someone else's post hence I used the child example.

JustDanceAddict · 01/01/2021 17:43

I have a cat, who I love, but no way as much as my children. If/when she died (and I’ve lost beloved cats before), I will be upset and miss her but the thought of losing a child is horrific.

Yohoheaveho · 01/01/2021 17:48

What about when a child crawls into an enclosure containing endangered species, this has happened before and the zoo shot the animal to save the child. Surely you cannot agree with this?
isabellanova, are you saying that, were it up to you, the animal would be allowed to kill/injure the child?
(Or have I misunderstood your postConfused?)