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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel fed up of DP.

64 replies

sazzysazz337 · 31/12/2020 22:40

DP and I are not living together due to house renovation however I am his support bubble.

DP has chosen to go to his friends tonight because it’s 8 days until payday and he’s pissed off. I’m spending NYE with DS (1)

DS has gone to bed and I feel so fucking lonely it’s unbelievable. Why am I not enough? Why risk our health during a pandemic? Why can’t he give as much a shit about me and DS as he does his shithouse friends?

OP posts:
Rainbowqueeen · 31/12/2020 22:44

You deserve better than that.
What would happen if you told him how upset you were ? I’d be considering my options based on his response to this

Original poster
sazzysazz337 · 31/12/2020 22:49

He’d blame me some way or another. He just never does anything for me at all, never had a gift, a card, nothing.

If I say anything he tells me to shut the fuck up or some other expletive.

OP posts:
AndcalloffChristmas · 31/12/2020 22:52

The last year I was with exh he locked himself in the spare room in a sulk, leaving me to look after one year old Ds and bemused and disappointed dd (then 7) who’d been promised a fun, family evening. Oh and a broken oven!

We separated soon after and divorced a couple of years later.

minionsrule · 31/12/2020 22:53

Not being funny OP but after your last update about the way he speaks to you I would not be rushing to move back in with him and frankly I would be happy to be alone tonight.
I don't often condone LTB but if thus level of disrespect is normal for your relationship then I would consider it, its really not normal

Sparklesocks · 31/12/2020 22:55

Why is he pissed off, because he’s skint? Doesn’t really seem a good enough reason to storm off.

AnneLovesGilbert · 31/12/2020 22:55

@sazzysazz337

He’d blame me some way or another. He just never does anything for me at all, never had a gift, a card, nothing.

If I say anything he tells me to shut the fuck up or some other expletive.

That’s appalling. Why are you putting up with this?
ShalomToYouJackie · 31/12/2020 22:58

DP has chosen to go to his friends tonight because it’s 8 days until payday and he’s pissed off

So he's pissed off he's got no money for that reason he's gone to someone else's house?

Original poster
sazzysazz337 · 31/12/2020 22:59

He’s pissed off because I won’t lend him money, he borrows money off me and never helps me out. And I need it for DS’s new pram which he absolutely needs.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 31/12/2020 23:04

'Why am I not enough' is completely the wrong question. Why on earth would you want to be? What's in this for you?

AnyFucker · 31/12/2020 23:05

Make 2021 a better year by getting shut of this sponging loser

What on earth happened to you that you think this is all you deserve ?

Elieza · 31/12/2020 23:06

Time to get your ducks in order and leave him. And ffs don’t get pregnant accidentally in the meantime. You deserve better than him and the longer you waste with him the longer it will be til you get what you deserve. New year. New opportunity. Go for it. LTB

Cam2020 · 31/12/2020 23:11

He sounds an utter twat and nasty to boot. Start the new year with a little less baggage and get rid of the loser.

Crankley · 31/12/2020 23:18

What's the point of him? I would trade him in for an adult model.

WotWouldCJDo · 31/12/2020 23:18

That’s appalling. Why are you putting up with this?

This may be one of those threads where this never gets addressed.

nimbuscloud · 31/12/2020 23:25

You have choices. Your child doesn’t have that luxury. Do you want him brought up in a home where his mother is abused by his father? Will it take him being abused by his father before you decide to leave?

Azerothi · 31/12/2020 23:30

Is your son your boyfriend's child? If so I wonder why he doesn't want to spend some time with him given you don't live with your boyfriend.

This is odd behaviour and I would think definitely not out of character.

Groovinpeanut · 31/12/2020 23:37

OP why are you putting up with such behaviour from him?

Original poster
sazzysazz337 · 31/12/2020 23:39

I didn’t know it was abuse. I thought he was just a bellend.

I don’t know why I put up with it, I don’t know any different.

OP posts:
Mor12 · 31/12/2020 23:41

You need to get rid of him now I’m afraid as this is just going to get worse.

arethereanyleftatall · 31/12/2020 23:41

Ok op. The very basic rule of any relationship is - do they make your life better?
If it's a no, then end it. Being single is absolutely fine.

Original poster
sazzysazz337 · 31/12/2020 23:47

I don’t know why I’m waiting up there’s no way I’d get a happy new year off him. Didnt even get a happy birthday.

OP posts:
1FootInTheRave · 31/12/2020 23:49

Oh love.

Get some self respect and get rid.

This isn't a partnership and won't improve.

Groovinpeanut · 31/12/2020 23:53

OP being with someone who listens to you, respects you, who lets you be yourself, loves you and makes time with them happy and relaxed is what you need in a relationship.
What you've got is just crap! He is a bellend, an abusive bellend.

People will only treat you like crap if you let them. You need to end things with this guy, and start putting yourself and your DC first. This kind of environment is just toxic.

Bananalanacake · 31/12/2020 23:55

This house renovation you are having, is it your property, does he pay towards it. Trying to work out if he has any claim on the house, if not can he leave. It is abuse if he speaks to you like that.

Adelais · 01/01/2021 00:14

Why are you wasting your life with such a horrible person? You don’t have to be in a relationship you know.