@sazzysazz337
I’ve been looking at all of these and it’s confusing me. He doesn’t fit the stereotype of any of them. He doesn’t care if I don’t speak to him all day, he doesn’t worry about me cheating etc he isn’t possessive in any way shape or form he’s not one bit bothered if I fuck off somewhere.
The only thing he’s ever said is his life falls apart when I’m not there. But that’s it. Other than that I’m just an entity.
God, OP, it's clear as daylight.
He doesn't care about you, personally. He's not interested in what you yourself bring to his life. You can tell by how little effort he puts into making you feel valued - it's because he doesn't value you. Love isn't something you say, it's something that you DO - looking out for someone else, and valuing their time, their opinion and their interests - and their fucking birthdays. He doesn't do that, because he doesn't care enough to want to, and it hasn't occurred to him that there is any reason to do nice things for someone he doesn't care about.
He's only interested in what it is you do for him, and he'd fall apart for about a hot minute until he found another sucker to help out with household and childcare and putting his life in order.
We have all had bad relationships, but I am so sorry that you got stuck coparenting with someone so disinterested before you realise that you deserve someone who actually likes you, let alone loves you.
None of this is normal in a relationship. People in happy relationships spend time together, wish each other a happy birthday, buy cards and presents for special occasions (yes, even men, if you were thinking that it's a bloke-thing not to do cards!)
You deserve to be a person, not an entity. And if you get rid of someone in your life who keeps reinforcing that, you will find it a lot easier to believe. Do it quick, before your son is old enough to absorb that he and you are valueless to the person who should care about them. You can't hide it and it really messes people up.