To feel fed up of DP.

[sazzysazz337]

DP and I are not living together due to house renovation however I am his support bubble.

DP has chosen to go to his friends tonight because it’s 8 days until payday and he’s pissed off. I’m spending NYE with DS (1)

DS has gone to bed and I feel so fucking lonely it’s unbelievable. Why am I not enough? Why risk our health during a pandemic? Why can’t he give as much a shit about me and DS as he does his shithouse friends?

Happy 2021. It'll be much better if both he and Covid get kicked to the kerb.

Make 2021 the year where you get away from this awful man.

Yeah.. new year’s resolution.. leave him and make a happy life just you and your son.

Hi op
I know of a man like this too (from my past) and OMG this kind of shit is so basic but hurts so much, and when you are used to it you just hope for some glimmer of hope that this year might be different- whether that be a birthday or New Years etc. And every time it isn’t any better it just feels the same and a real punch in the gut (and heart) like expecting the person you love to want to be with you and celebrate occasions with you is just too much to ask?!?!
It’s madness tbh, but now times gone on for me I can see it is not good enough but back then I just let things go as when things were good I told myself it would make up for the bad stuff

Happy New Year all, from me and DS (who’s been woken up by the fireworks!)

Are you even taking a tiny bit of this in, op ?

@sazzysazz337

He’d blame me some way or another. He just never does anything for me at all, never had a gift, a card, nothing.

If I say anything he tells me to shut the fuck up or some other expletive.

Sorry to hear this, he sounds awful. Does he have any redeeming features at all?

Why do you have such low standards from a relationship?

He will never ever change. Ever. This will always be your life and it will get worse.

Leave him. Think of your son if not yourself.

I am taking it all in. And I hope in the next few weeks I build up some strength to leave. Low standards for my relationship come from low self esteem.

You and your little boy deserve much better and life is better without that excuse of a partner/father. Most of us put up with useless shi--s until one day we just have enough and then it's curtains.

Please look after yourself, you deserve more, belated birthday greetings whenever your birthday was, put yourself first for this New Year, he's only dragging you down, you can do this, you are capable and a good mum, sending you strength, love and hope for 2021.

I’m so sorry, you need to leave him as soon as you can. Good luck OP!

@sazzysazz337

He’d blame me some way or another. He just never does anything for me at all, never had a gift, a card, nothing.

If I say anything he tells me to shut the fuck up or some other expletive.

Well, why would you put up with this? Leave him!! He doesn't deserve you. I'd have left after a few instances of this - why haven't you?

Your low self-esteem will only get worse the longer you stay with this loser.
Do yourself and your DS a big favour and get rid.

I’ve been a single mum since pregnancy and my DS is now 8. It’s fine and much better than being with a useless sponging idiot.
Show your boy how strong you are and then work on your self-esteem, make sure you don’t jump into another relationship until you know your worth.

Name calling is verbal abuse. It is classified as Domestic Violence. No real gentleman swears at a woman. No man tells a woman - any woman - let alone one he loves to 'shut the fuck up' or to 'fuck off'.

He hates you. He absolutely HATES YOU, and I'd wager he resents you for getting pregnant. He is a pig who talks to you like a bit of shit. No man in love with a woman talks to a woman like that. This is 2021, not the 1940s. Kick him out of your life. He is scum who hates you. Find a man that will treat you like a princess, not like you're an inconvenience, or a bit of shit stuck on his shoe.

He’s a knob
Break up with him

YANBU for being fed up. But YABU to be still with him. You’re treated how you allow yourself to be treated, and he clearly treats you this way as he can see how low your bar is. I rarely say LTB, but from the little info you’ve given here, he sounds awful. You deserve much much better OP.

Bell end, abuse, doesn't matter what label you put on it, he treats you and your dc appallingly so you need to leave him

@sazzysazz337

He’d blame me some way or another. He just never does anything for me at all, never had a gift, a card, nothing.

If I say anything he tells me to shut the fuck up or some other expletive.

Why are you with him at all?

@sazzysazz337

I am taking it all in. And I hope in the next few weeks I build up some strength to leave. Low standards for my relationship come from low self esteem.

You're not living together at present.

Keep it that way

OP may I recommend that you get a copy of Lundy Bancroft's "Why does he do that?" (available on Amazon etc, or there's a pdf version online), or Pat Craven's "Living with the dominator" - or join the Freedom Programme. It'll help you to get a better understanding of the abuse you're experiencing

I’ve been looking at all of these and it’s confusing me. He doesn’t fit the stereotype of any of them. He doesn’t care if I don’t speak to him all day, he doesn’t worry about me cheating etc he isn’t possessive in any way shape or form he’s not one bit bothered if I fuck off somewhere.

The only thing he’s ever said is his life falls apart when I’m not there. But that’s it. Other than that I’m just an entity.

There are different types of abuse. They don't need to tick every single box in order to go from non-abusive to abusive.

Op, you don't HAVE to be with someone, it isn't mandatory. You can leave him for any reason you like, abuse or not. If he's not adding value to your life, what's the point of him being in it?

I’m sorry I just didn’t realise I was being abused. DP isn’t controlling he’s just horrible to me and I didn’t know it was abuse.