I met DH in 2000 and we married in 2004. In 2006 I was signed off work with depression, a problem I’d coped with for many years.
In 2007 DH woke me up one night to say he couldn’t sleep because he felt so guilty he had had an affair with a colleague - and somebody I thought I’d shown friendship to. Let’s call her G. DH said he’d felt very lonely living with somebody who was depressed and always stressed and upset about work (where I was being bullied), and that G had been a really good friend, had been a listening ear and somebody he could share his stresses with. But it went too far. He told me he had told her he loved her and was going to leave me for her. I agreed to “forgive” him, but he kept trying to see her (platonically, so to speak), using greater and greater subterfuge.
The following year we had a child, DD (now just ten!) and things calmed down. G gave DD a gift of a small Playmobil racing car with driver, she got another boyfriend, had a son, then moved away.
I’m just clearing out DS’s toys and he too has grown out of the car, so it should be in the charity bag. But a couple of years ago, for work, DH went to the city where G lives, and saw her two nights in a row. He told me he wouldn’t and he hadn’t, but it cropped up in an email by accident. One evening was a social, another he visited her and her son, alone in their home.
Now I just want DC to go back to school, to put the car and blameless driver on the back patio, get a mallet from the shed, and smash them to smitherines. And then smash the smitherines.
I can see how this is really anger with my marriage, but AIBU or childish?