Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse this money?

108 replies

gwenneh · 28/12/2020 15:19

A bit of back story: in 2016 I did some freelance work for an organisation over a period of a few months. The business relationship ended on a sour note -- turned up one day to find myself locked out of all of the work tools, etc. with no warning and no explanation. At the time I found it quite upsetting but I moved on, found another job, life went on. These things happen.

Today I received an email from the head of the organisation stating that she would be sending me £1,000 because when I worked with her, the company was a small organisation and she would like to make up what she perceives as a salary discrepancy based on the going market rate for my job. This has made me extremely uncomfortable and brought back a whole load of unpleasant emotions so I don't think I'm thinking clearly about the whole thing.

Part of me is delighted, I'd love to top up the savings or buy something nice. Part of me thinks this is making me so uncomfortable I should refuse, say thank you but no thank you, and move on. Should I take this money, or WIBU to refuse it?

YABU - take the money, you did the work
YANBU - refuse the payment

OP posts:
namechange5575 · 28/12/2020 15:20

Take the money!

covidaintacrime · 28/12/2020 15:21

I've turned down large sums of money for ethical & emotional reasons, and I'd say both have positives and negatives.

What part makes you uncomfortable, is it the memory of the work experience or taking the money itself?

littlepattilou · 28/12/2020 15:21

I would take it. Smile

MaggieFS · 28/12/2020 15:21

It's a bit odd? Have you maintained any contacts? Why would you suddenly prick her conscience now?

If there are no string s attached and you can take it at face value, just take it!

Doggybiccys · 28/12/2020 15:22

Take the money if you think the work you did was worth what they are offering. Why shouldn’t you? Can u explain why you shouldn’t a bit more? It’s it triggering memories rather than the money per se?

justthecat · 28/12/2020 15:22

Take the money, just put it in savings for now if it makes you feel more comfortable

3ismylot · 28/12/2020 15:23

I would be wondering if this was an olive branch before they approach you to work for them again! Which given the history you would be better off avoiding.

covidaintacrime · 28/12/2020 15:23

You need to make sure there aren't any strings attached, in case they're trying to cover up something dodgy.

fourandnomore · 28/12/2020 15:23

I’m not sure, it might lighten the load of the bad experience but I’d also feel this was kind of guilt money it just depends how you feel about it. If I did accept it, i would blow it on something frivolous or give it away, then nothing would be a lasting reminder of the bad situation if you know what I mean.

desperatelyseeking1 · 28/12/2020 15:23

I would take the money, you never know when you might need it.

ElizaLaLa · 28/12/2020 15:24

Cutting your nose off to spite your face comes to mind here.

Why wouldn't you take it?

Purplethrow · 28/12/2020 15:24

It’s a bit weird but I would take the money, it will cut no ice with them if you don’t.

lyinginthegutterstaringatstars · 28/12/2020 15:25

Can you email back and ask why now? Maybe mention that you are confused about all this after what happened last time you were in contact.

lyinginthegutterstaringatstars · 28/12/2020 15:27

Be wary if they ask you to sign something before (if) you accept the money

purplecorkheart · 28/12/2020 15:30

I would wonder if another member of staff is taking a claim about underpayment amnd they are trying to cover themselves, you accept the payment then you cannot testify on the complainant behalf.

I would email back as for a detailed breakdown of any terms and conditions that would apply before agreeing to accept.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 28/12/2020 15:33

That is very weird, I agree with others above they may be trying to hedge against some legal action either by you or by someone else who has had a similar experience to you. It could be a compromise agreement disguised as kind gesture.

Bluntness100 · 28/12/2020 15:35

That’s very very weird. So something is wrong. No one just says hey we think we paid you lower than market rate years ago, here have a thousand pounds.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 28/12/2020 15:35

Sounds very odd; I'd take the money unless it messes up your tax situation now; for example if you're now employed rather than self employed.
I can understand that it will have raked up unpleasant memories - but take it as confirmation that you were treated as unfairly at the time. Market rate for a self employed role several years on sounds improbable - more like a cack-handed apology for treating you badly.

okokok000 · 28/12/2020 15:37

Take it as compensation for their poor treatment of you.

WhereDoMyBluebirdsFly · 28/12/2020 15:38

@purplecorkheart

I would wonder if another member of staff is taking a claim about underpayment amnd they are trying to cover themselves, you accept the payment then you cannot testify on the complainant behalf.

I would email back as for a detailed breakdown of any terms and conditions that would apply before agreeing to accept.

Yes, this is what I thought too.

See what they want you to sign before you take the money (or maybe jump on board the other woman's lawsuit and take them to the cleaners!)

Saxineno · 28/12/2020 15:38

Take and donate to charity and do some good, that could make a big difference to a small charity.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 28/12/2020 15:39

PPs suggestions of avoiding legal actions seem unlikely - if you've not done anything by now, it's unlikely you would, and you;d have very limited scope for legal action as an employee of only a few months, and a limited window in which to bring an action - hard to understand what you might do as a former self employed contractor.

AngelonTopoftheTree · 28/12/2020 15:43

What a bizarre scenario?? What company feels obliged to offer ex-employees money years later??
There's something fishy going on behind the scenes for sure!! Be very interesting to know what it is.

Tal45 · 28/12/2020 15:47

I agree with taking it as compensation for poor treatment. It sounds very odd though, might be a court case going on in the background.

Aprilx · 28/12/2020 15:49

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

PPs suggestions of avoiding legal actions seem unlikely - if you've not done anything by now, it's unlikely you would, and you;d have very limited scope for legal action as an employee of only a few months, and a limited window in which to bring an action - hard to understand what you might do as a former self employed contractor.
Employees have three months to bring a claim, but OP was not an employee so I would assume they have six years for a claim and thus are not time barred at the moment.

OP, I would be quite suspicious, are there any terms attached many wording like ‘full and final settlement’. I wonder if somebody else has started a claim and they are wanting to pay you off before the other person gets you onside.