Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse this money?

108 replies

gwenneh · 28/12/2020 15:19

A bit of back story: in 2016 I did some freelance work for an organisation over a period of a few months. The business relationship ended on a sour note -- turned up one day to find myself locked out of all of the work tools, etc. with no warning and no explanation. At the time I found it quite upsetting but I moved on, found another job, life went on. These things happen.

Today I received an email from the head of the organisation stating that she would be sending me £1,000 because when I worked with her, the company was a small organisation and she would like to make up what she perceives as a salary discrepancy based on the going market rate for my job. This has made me extremely uncomfortable and brought back a whole load of unpleasant emotions so I don't think I'm thinking clearly about the whole thing.

Part of me is delighted, I'd love to top up the savings or buy something nice. Part of me thinks this is making me so uncomfortable I should refuse, say thank you but no thank you, and move on. Should I take this money, or WIBU to refuse it?

YABU - take the money, you did the work
YANBU - refuse the payment

OP posts:
IndieTara · 28/12/2020 16:30

Ask them why now

HollowTalk · 28/12/2020 16:30

I would definitely take the money. They landed you in the lurch and made things very difficult for you. They owe you. It's very, very rare that businesses acknowledge that. Take it.

nosswith · 28/12/2020 16:30

If you are uncomfortable with the money, accept it and donate it to charity/charities. I am sure MN members could suggest a few if you do not have any you support regularly.

MaggieFS · 28/12/2020 16:32

I agree with pp that you need to be careful not to hand over any bank details.

If you could cope with the angst of dredging up the past, given how you used to respect her and then how it ended, could you phone up and ask wtf is going on?

Aprilx · 28/12/2020 16:32

@partyatthepalace

That’s very weird. It does sound to me that this is meant to be compensation for unfair dismissal, though why they’d even be worrying about that now is odd.

Be interested to know if you have to sign a waiver to get it, but certainly I’d take it.

It doesn’t sound like anything of the sort.

OP would be massively timebarred for any unfair dismissal claim after four years even if she had been an employee. However as she was freelancing she was not an employee so unfair dismissal is a completely irrelevant concept.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 28/12/2020 16:34

This is so weird. Are you sure it’s not a scam?

Gazelda · 28/12/2020 16:35

@nosswith

If you are uncomfortable with the money, accept it and donate it to charity/charities. I am sure MN members could suggest a few if you do not have any you support regularly.
This seems a good idea.

I wouldn't respond to the email. I don't think you'll get to the bottom of either the unprofessional end to your relationship, nor the true motivation behind the money.

If it turns up in your account, then donate it as suggested. Invest the money in an employment training charity, or princes trust type organisation.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 28/12/2020 16:35

Its weird. I have no idea how freelancing contracts work in regard to who own the right to whatever work is produced but did you perhaps do a piece of work or save something to a computer which they now want to use so they'll be using this payment as a way of saying that they bought the rights to it? As I say, I have no idea of the intricacies of freelancing nor do I know what industry you're in...

Roselilly36 · 28/12/2020 16:35

Very odd after 4 years? There is more to this, name & shame the organisation concerned. Perhaps they are about to fold, do you have some information that they want kept quiet.

louisejxxx · 28/12/2020 16:36

I’m another that thinks you should definitely take the money but ask that for a legal breakdown of it. It sounds like there may be more than they’re saying - if it was me I would need to know what it was all about rather than just leaving it.

billybagpuss · 28/12/2020 16:37

Do you feel you were paid correctly at the time, did it match with the rate you charged? If you freelanced, you would have invoiced them so all books completed.

That is how I would answer, the correct invoices were issued as per the agreement at the time and as far as you are concerned the matter is closed.

If this money were genuinely due, you would know about it and have been feeling resentful towards them over it.

GivenchyDahhling · 28/12/2020 16:38

Is there any chance they would want you back working for them? And that this is a precursor to trying to get you back, as they know full well how you were treated was so unacceptable so thinking this might thaw your feelings towards them?

I would take the money and run; personally.

AlwaysCheddar · 28/12/2020 16:38

How much did they owe you?

LookItsMeAgain · 28/12/2020 16:39

I'd take the money and decide to donate it to charity (if you don't actually need the finance to make ends meet yourself). That way you can still remain clear of this company and be doing some good with the money that they claim that they owe you.
Just a suggestion

NoSquirrels · 28/12/2020 16:40

I think there's two parts to why this feels so bad; one, the email from a person who I really respected and enjoyed working with who treated me so unprofessionally has brought back everything I felt about the situation and two, there's money involved.

It’s very odd. I think I’d have to reply expressing my surprise as the business relationship had ended in such an unusual and unprofessional manner, which you had found upsetting. And see what happens then.

Diva66 · 28/12/2020 16:40

I would definitely be looking for an ulterior motive. She sacked you off without notice or explanation. No contact since, and now this.

Ferrari458 · 28/12/2020 16:40

Just take the money. No point speculating about having to sign anything until you are. If that happens read and decide if it makes any difference.

HoofHeartedSanta · 28/12/2020 16:40

I’d be wondering if they’ve done exactly the same to someone else and they ARE going the legal route. I’d refuse the money. Save the email, not reply and inform my bank to bounce back unsolicited payment from that payee.

billybagpuss · 28/12/2020 16:41

Have you also done any googling to see if there are any rumbling of issues with the company going on? I understand where everyone is coming from but if all your books are balanced and done an honest person wouldn’t get involved, there has to be an ulterior motive with this.

Marmunia1975 · 28/12/2020 16:42

This is weird! It's like the former school bullies who friend you on Facebook and then invite you to buy their wax melts.

Shedbuilder · 28/12/2020 16:42

Did you submit an invoice when they locked you out? Did they pay it? Have they now discovered it and want to pay you but are disguising it as an ex gratia payment?

I'd just take it and enjoy it and treat it as a long-delayed bonus. I can't understand why you wouldn't take it. They treated you badly, now they're compensating you.

Melonlover80 · 28/12/2020 16:46

@covidaintacrime

I've turned down large sums of money for ethical & emotional reasons, and I'd say both have positives and negatives.

What part makes you uncomfortable, is it the memory of the work experience or taking the money itself?

Multiple times?!

What industry do you work in??

catpoooffender · 28/12/2020 16:47

I'd take the money. I appreciate it's brought up bad memories but that's the case now whether you accept it or not.

Pinotwoman82 · 28/12/2020 16:48

Oh I wonder if maybe they thought you had done something, but have now found out it wasn’t you? I’d probably take it, put it in an account and if I haven’t heard anything maybe treat yourself in the summer to something?

probablynotthesame · 28/12/2020 16:53

I agree with PP get a detailed account for what the money is for, make sure it's what you are entitled to and if you have bad feelings give it to charity or buy supplies for the local brownie/scouts club or whatever takes your fancy 🤷‍♀️