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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse this money?

108 replies

gwenneh · 28/12/2020 15:19

A bit of back story: in 2016 I did some freelance work for an organisation over a period of a few months. The business relationship ended on a sour note -- turned up one day to find myself locked out of all of the work tools, etc. with no warning and no explanation. At the time I found it quite upsetting but I moved on, found another job, life went on. These things happen.

Today I received an email from the head of the organisation stating that she would be sending me £1,000 because when I worked with her, the company was a small organisation and she would like to make up what she perceives as a salary discrepancy based on the going market rate for my job. This has made me extremely uncomfortable and brought back a whole load of unpleasant emotions so I don't think I'm thinking clearly about the whole thing.

Part of me is delighted, I'd love to top up the savings or buy something nice. Part of me thinks this is making me so uncomfortable I should refuse, say thank you but no thank you, and move on. Should I take this money, or WIBU to refuse it?

YABU - take the money, you did the work
YANBU - refuse the payment

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 28/12/2020 16:56

@Purplethrow

Maybe they’ve cooked the books in the past, are being investigated and are now trying to minimise any fraud.
Or they're doing something to cook the books now
TatianaBis · 28/12/2020 16:56

If you respected her and thought she was a decent person she may now be in a position to compensate you for mistreatment at the time.

She knows the organisation treated you shittily and has justified it to the company as compensation for being paid under the going rate.

Maybe she wants to keep you sweet to work to do more freelance her work for her organisation in the future.

Melonlover80 · 28/12/2020 16:58

I’d want clarity

And then... I’d negotiate more. Don’t accept an opening offer, especially when it was entirely unsolicited!!

Original poster
gwenneh · 28/12/2020 16:59

@Marmunia1975

This is weird! It's like the former school bullies who friend you on Facebook and then invite you to buy their wax melts.
Yes, this is a terrific description of the feeling!

I have absolutely no internal information on the company, damaging or otherwise. I never made any negative comments about our business relationship in public, and as a freelancer I'd always accepted that the business relationship wasn't a permanent one (I'd just thought they'd have been more professional about it.)

There's definitely no outstanding payment owed to me; I invoiced for my time and was paid for it at the agreed rate, it was on my accounts for 2016, and so I thought the matter was done. Google isn't turning up any rumblings of trouble, seems to be business as usual over there.

I guess it's the contact with the head of the org than anything else that has made me uncomfortable more than the idea of money.

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 28/12/2020 16:59

Very odd but given you weren't ever going to contact them again, why not just take it and think no further about them? I don't really understand disadvantaging yourself, in favour of people who treated you badly.

Posturesorposes · 28/12/2020 17:01

Can you check though that this is legit and not some kind of a scam or of the companies details hacked and then sort of becoming a bit like those Nigerian scam so once they ask for your account details

BiggerTallerFaster · 28/12/2020 17:01

This is so odd, I'd be worried there was something criminal or equally unsavoury going on.

Why would anyone offer you money for being underpaid years ago, when you weren't even employed?

Do you have to complete any paperwork to get this cash?

Winniewonka · 28/12/2020 17:06

If I were to accept, I would ask for a cheque rather than a transfer in this case plus an explanation of their current action. I would also put 20% aside for tax if you go ahead.

Original poster
gwenneh · 28/12/2020 17:09

@BiggerTallerFaster no, no paperwork. She still has my payment details and she said she was just emailing me so I wasn't confused when the payment arrived.

It was a short email from her personal, non-company email address and while I suppose it could be a scam, she has a pretty specific writing style which I think would be hard to mimic.

OP posts:
BiggerTallerFaster · 28/12/2020 17:10

When something seems too good to be true...

magicstar1 · 28/12/2020 17:15

Maybe she’s building up to asking you to do some more work for them.
Take this money, but refuse any further work if it appears.

ajandjjmum · 28/12/2020 17:15

They surely must want you back for some reason, and need to smooth things over before they approach you, knowing that they previously treated you unprofessionally.

Do you have a particular skill set that they may find hard to obtain elsewhere?

winterbabythistime · 28/12/2020 17:16

Hmm could it be an equal pay thing? They could have been paying a male counterpart more and trying to rectify it now?

BlueThistles · 28/12/2020 17:20

If you can live happily without this money then don't take it... but don't be a martyr about it... you either accept it because your worked for it or you don't.. Flowers

NoSquirrels · 28/12/2020 17:21

[quote gwenneh]@BiggerTallerFaster no, no paperwork. She still has my payment details and she said she was just emailing me so I wasn't confused when the payment arrived.

It was a short email from her personal, non-company email address and while I suppose it could be a scam, she has a pretty specific writing style which I think would be hard to mimic.[/quote]
From a personal non-company address?

Sounds like she knows they treated you badly, it’s played on her conscience and she’s (personally) righting a wrong.

Original poster
gwenneh · 28/12/2020 17:22

There's no chance I'd do additional work for the org; I'm not only full time employed but several career steps ahead of where I when I worked with them. The skills (marketing-related) weren't particularly niche; I was successful in the role by any standard but I don't think it would be difficult to find someone else with a similar track record.

Can't be an equal pay thing, it's an all-female org and I was the only one in the role, so there was no one to benchmark the pay against.

OP posts:
Original poster
gwenneh · 28/12/2020 17:25

Sounds like she knows they treated you badly, it’s played on her conscience and she’s (personally) righting a wrong.

I've wondered if this was a possibility.

OP posts:
SynchroSwimmer · 28/12/2020 17:28

If it looks like the money is just going to arrive in your account, I would be tempted to just sit and do nothing.

Let the money arrive, do not acknowledge the email, don’t reply, don’t get into a dialogue - and just sit and wait it out.

I totally get that it brings back unhappy feelings and emotions that you have put behind you. (I regret wasting a year of my life over similar)

Purplethrow · 28/12/2020 17:34

I would have to know what it’s for, even if I chose not to accept the money. Personally I would give her a call just in case her account has been hacked and it’s a scam .

Puzzledandpissedoff · 28/12/2020 17:34

I guess it's the contact with the head of the org than anything else that has made me uncomfortable more than the idea of money

She may be planning to work for herself and wants you on board to help ... either way I guarantee any positive message you send will soon bring out what she actually wants, as opposed to what she pretends the email was about

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 28/12/2020 17:42

I wonder whether somebody's had their hand in the till and tried to hide it under 'gwenneh invoices'? It would certainly be handy from a sticky fingered person's viewpoint to be able to say 'No, she's been paid - you can ask her'. Or worse, that the missing money (far in excess of four grand) is actually accompanied by fake invoices pretending to be in your name, just with a different account to pay into - contractor/invoice fraud is a common method of embezzlement.

ElleDubloo · 28/12/2020 17:49

Take the money. Maybe they’re feeling guilty for how they treated you.

Bowerbird5 · 28/12/2020 18:04

Sounds very odd. If you don’t want to take the money,don’t let them have it either. Could you ask to make a cheque to your favourite charity?

Mooycow · 28/12/2020 18:07

Agree that 4 years is a long time to suddenly remember you underpaid someone ! Ask for clarification before you accept.

PervyMuskrat · 28/12/2020 18:16

I’d be extremely wary of this, it screams scam to me. Email her on her work email address and ask her to confirm it is her and that is a genuine offer. She should absolutely not have your bank details on her personal email address (GDPR breach?) and my concern would be around a scammer impersonating her and overpaying, requesting a refund of the overpayment from you and then recalling the whole payment.