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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner adding woman on Linkedin

73 replies

Bronzeanatomy · 28/12/2020 13:41

My partner left his email inbox open on the laptop and I noticed and email from LinkedIn inviting him to 'start a conversation with his new connection' who happened to be an attractive female member of cabin crew. The email said she had accepted his invitation.
One, I didn't know he even had/used LinkedIn, it could be a very old account. Two, I didn't know he knew any cabin crew.

He's a loving partner who have never given me suspicions before though I am quite paranoid and jealous. But the email was from 5 days ago. Could she be responding to a very old invitation?

How should I approach this?

AIBU to think this is suspicious?

OP posts:
QforCucumber · 28/12/2020 13:44

LinkedIn is all about building contacts. I have men on mine who are mechanics, trades, scientists, recruiters, local business owners - I know barely any of them personally.

DillonPanthersTexas · 28/12/2020 13:47

LinkedIn is always suggesting that you start a conversation with someone or to connect with somebody who often has bugger all to do with your profession. The algorithms just want to keep the footfall ticking over. I'm a free lancer and am always getting tapped up by recruitment consultants, most of whom seem to be pretty young women.

MRex · 28/12/2020 13:48

She might be an old colleague, it might be an old invite, or he might just fancy her. Why don't you ask him who she is?

WhimsicallyPlain · 28/12/2020 13:50

As above LinkedIn is to make contacts, my DP gets constant invitations and job offers through there. Has 100s of contacts both male and female. I personally wouldn't find it suspicious, but then I'm also not a jealous person?

DillonPanthersTexas · 28/12/2020 13:51

My partner left his email inbox open on the laptop and I noticed and email from LinkedIn

Also, good luck expecting him to believe that.

Pukkatea · 28/12/2020 13:53

I think you're looking for a reason to find something suspicious and wondering why?

Fatladyslim · 28/12/2020 13:54

'paranoid and jelous' two of the worst relationship personality traits. Some people seem to think its cute when women are like this. It's not.

Get help on yourself and stop snooping through your partners emails.

Original poster
Bronzeanatomy · 28/12/2020 13:55

DillonPanthersTexas

You got me!(halo)

OP posts:
BIWI · 28/12/2020 13:55

I have over 800 contacts on Linked In. Do you think my DH should be worried?

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 28/12/2020 13:56

It wouldn't even cross my mind that something was up with that.

Original poster
Bronzeanatomy · 28/12/2020 13:59

Yes I get what some repliers are saying, believe me it's not nice having doubts or being insecure. I am working on myself, please try not to be cruel. The irony is I don't need to be insecure and he tells me daily that he loves me. Sadly it's like a disease.

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 28/12/2020 14:02

If my partner was going through my emails, he would be an ex. Control yourself, not him

MRex · 28/12/2020 14:04

I thought it made some sense for OP to be curious if her DP doesn't usually use LinkedIn, it is different than someone who has hundreds of contacts and updates it regularly.
Now it looks like you've admitted to digging about on his laptop @Bronzeanatomy, so maybe you want to fill in the extra back story about why you did that?

Lexilooo · 28/12/2020 14:05

It's LinkedIn not bloody tinder. It is about professional networking.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 28/12/2020 14:06

@Lexilooo

It's LinkedIn not bloody tinder. It is about professional networking.
And MLM lately🙄
TheScurrilousFunge · 28/12/2020 14:09

I get emails all the time from LinkedIn telling me to start a conversation with a contact. It's an automatic thing. I send them straight to the deleted folder.

I feel for your partner, though, if he can't even have female contacts on a PROFESSIONAL networking website.

Beautifulbonnie · 28/12/2020 14:09

Isn’t there that saying that if you snoop you’ll always find something you don’t like?

Me and DH have been together 15 years. Not once have I ever looked at his email or phone. Not once. I don’t even know the passwords to either

Sadly you need trust for a relationship to work. If you haven’t got that.....

An0n0n0n · 28/12/2020 14:12

What are you doing to work on yourself?

Bouledeneige · 28/12/2020 17:33

I have 1,300 contacts on LinkedIn. Half are men. I am not having affairs with even half of them!

BIWI · 28/12/2020 17:38

Tsk. You're clearly not trying hard enough @Bouledeneige Wink

LittleBearPad · 28/12/2020 17:41

Is he a pilot or in any way linked to the air industry?

Atrixie · 28/12/2020 17:42

Are you mad. It’s LinkedIn it’s a networking site. I have all sorts of people on there. You have a serious problem

Bouledeneige · 28/12/2020 17:43

2021 is another year.... There's time.

LittleBearPad · 28/12/2020 17:43

Although if he was planning an affair linked in’s a strange one to use.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 28/12/2020 17:46

@Bouledeneige

I have 1,300 contacts on LinkedIn. Half are men. I am not having affairs with even half of them!
😱 Hide your sons, hide your husbands