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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Partner adding woman on Linkedin

73 replies

Bronzeanatomy · 28/12/2020 13:41

My partner left his email inbox open on the laptop and I noticed and email from LinkedIn inviting him to 'start a conversation with his new connection' who happened to be an attractive female member of cabin crew. The email said she had accepted his invitation.
One, I didn't know he even had/used LinkedIn, it could be a very old account. Two, I didn't know he knew any cabin crew.

He's a loving partner who have never given me suspicions before though I am quite paranoid and jealous. But the email was from 5 days ago. Could she be responding to a very old invitation?

How should I approach this?

AIBU to think this is suspicious?

OP posts:

Original poster

Bronzeanatomy · 29/12/2020 10:19

Turns out there was a perfectly innocent explanation as she has now added me - a long lost friend's daughter who's name change I didn't recognise as she has married.

For those of you asking about me checking his emails - he often gives me access to do his invoicing so it's not as if I was snooping. But agree, I let my imagination run away with me

OP posts:

LittleBearPad · 29/12/2020 10:52

Maybe you need to work on your self esteem?

ChristmasAlone · 29/12/2020 11:20

You actually asked him, jesus. Do you regularly check his FB and IG as well?

DP has LI I have LI I actually don't have a clue how many connections they have, nor am I bothered. I think LI has come up in conversation a few times, oh guess who sent me a invite type of thing on LI today. Cue it being some obscure person from 5 years ago that was mentioned in passing once, honestly you do remember them. No.

You need to work on your trust issues.

Jollibeezus · 29/12/2020 12:43

@Bronzeanatomy

Turns out there was a perfectly innocent explanation as she has now added me - a long lost friend's daughter who's name change I didn't recognise as she has married.

For those of you asking about me checking his emails - he often gives me access to do his invoicing so it's not as if I was snooping. But agree, I let my imagination run away with me

Omg your poor husband.

This is no way to live OP. Get a handle on your issues.

Original poster

Bronzeanatomy · 29/12/2020 12:47

ChristmasAlone

Nope. He asked me if she had invited me yet as she had made the initial connection with him, but as I say he gives me access to his emails.
He doesn't have FB or IG.

OP posts:

FelicityPike · 29/12/2020 12:51

You need to seek medical help for your anxiety and worries.
Seriously, this isn’t healthy.

AhNowTed · 29/12/2020 13:11

This is no laughing matter OP.

Paranoid and jealous over a LinkedIn connection? You need to seek counselling before you ruin this man.

annevonkleve · 29/12/2020 13:12

@BIWI

I have over 800 contacts on Linked In. Do you think my DH should be worried?

I have a lot too. Should my DH be worried too? A lot are men (I probably do have more female contacts but hundreds of male contacts too).

Although you get the odd twit who thinks LinkedIn is a dating website, most realise it's a professional networking tool.

Come on OP. Worry if he's on Tindr.

Yeahnahmum · 29/12/2020 13:18

Paranoid and jealous over a linked in invite. ... jeez...
And you thinking your husband doesnt know any cabin crew. .. how weird is that.
You need to get your act together op. Your dh is going to be fed up with this paranoia at some stage....

Brefugee · 29/12/2020 13:20

I lost my job due to corona and thanks to my LinkedIn network now have a new one. It's work stuff, generally

Cheeseandwin5 · 29/12/2020 13:29

Have to agree with others. You seem to want to laugh it off and / or blame your DH for 'the situation.
Connecting on linkin, you seeing the invite,and him telling you about the person all seem to have been your DH doing and you have acted all innocently. Let me ask does he tell you about all his Linkin network members, I somehow doubt it.
You sound needy controlling and manupilative and and I suggest you take your attitude more seriously before it ruins the things you have. If I was friends with your DH I would be warning about putting up with such behaviour.

nosswith · 29/12/2020 14:01

Unless you work in air travel or associated services, why would you have a business reason to connect with air crew. Even if they were employees of Ryanair and looking for a new job.

Cheeseandwin5 · 29/12/2020 18:06

@nosswith

you obviously have no idea how linkedin works, which makes it surprising that you would comment.
linkedin is a social platfom to introduce professional ppl. They do not have to be in the same industry.and allows you to both advertise yourself and work and have contacts should you want to contacts from anything to changing careers to for services and many other things.

Nohomemadecandles · 29/12/2020 18:20

@Cheeseandwin5 actually I think she knows exactly how it works! It's literally my playground and I agree. He sent her a connection request. If it turned out she wasn't a family friend, he would have had no good reason to connect unless he just fancied the look of her. People don't just connect randomly unless there's a reason or he enjoys her content. I don't just send connection requests to a random list of people I don't know.
If you're looking for a new job, connecting to cabin crew wouldn't be the obvious answer... nor if you were looking to sell a service or a product.

HollyGenneroMcClane · 29/12/2020 18:22

I am quite paranoid and jealous
I would advise your do to leave. How exactly are you dealing with this?

DillonPanthersTexas · 29/12/2020 20:28

People don't just connect randomly unless there's a reason or he enjoys her content.

I receive dozens of connection requests each month from random sods who just want to expand their network for no other reason then bragging rights or some vague shared skill set.

emilyfrost · 29/12/2020 22:10

For those of you asking about me checking his emails - he often gives me access to do his invoicing so it's not as if I was snooping.

What was the reason you checked his emails to discover this? Were you expecting one?

Having access doesn’t mean you should snoop whenever you feel like it because you’re insecure.

KiKiDeluxe · 29/12/2020 22:17

LinkedIn is business. I get requests from people all the time, some I accept, some I don't. It wouldn't cross my mind to think of anything other than a professional relationship. There are other social networking sites much more suitable for affairs, if that's what you are thinking.

Nohomemadecandles · 29/12/2020 22:34

@DillonPanthersTexas

People don't just connect randomly unless there's a reason or he enjoys her content.

I receive dozens of connection requests each month from random sods who just want to expand their network for no other reason then bragging rights or some vague shared skill set.

Well it doesn't matter now because she's a family friend they didn't know they had! But if she wasn't, hypothetically, he doesn't work in aviation, isn't hiring cabin crew nor is he looking for a job. Most of these invitations come from men to women with attractive profile pics! The randoms choose people for a reason!

Honestly, it is a hot bed of affairs, flirting and inappropriate messaging! It's the 70's office affair but online!

rookgizzardpie · 29/12/2020 22:43

snooping through emails and your lack of trust is not as funny and lighthearted as you’re making out. you would be an ex by now if I was your partner

Nohomemadecandles · 29/12/2020 22:46

But yes, the snooping bit is silly. No good ever comes of it.

AhNowTed · 29/12/2020 23:37

@rookgizzardpie

snooping through emails and your lack of trust is not as funny and lighthearted as you’re making out. you would be an ex by now if I was your partner

Me too, at the first sign.

Cheeseandwin5 · 31/12/2020 02:55

@Nohomemadecandles

You obviously dont, because if you did you would know, its all about advertising, whether its you , your product or the service you are trying to offer (now or later). People are not stuck in their roles for life and do have friends who work in different fields.
I have been on it for many many years and have accepted and requested many times to ppl I have not interacted with afterwards. and although it may happen I have never had anything but professional conversations in all that time ( and it seems the majoirty of ppl have had the same experience)
I wonder what your encounters are like to get such a different view.

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