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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what your relationship with your siblings are like

93 replies

Tellmelies65 · 27/12/2020 22:56

I’ve got one sister our relationship has been affected by her complex mental health problems. I envy people with good siblings relationships.

OP posts:

LindaEllen · 27/12/2020 23:00

Me and my brother get on fine, but tend not to see each other unless the whole family is getting together. It's weird. We don't even message each other very often. But when we see each other it's like no time has passed at all.

MeMarmiteYouJam · 27/12/2020 23:03

Nonexistent. Their politics are so extremely different from my own, we have nothing I'm common and have lost touch completely (they live oversees as well). It's been this way for years, and I don't see it changing.

temproasted · 27/12/2020 23:03

Yep exactly the same here. Partly mental health but just generally not keeping in touch (or maybe just not wanting to). I do feel sad/envious when I see siblings who get on well. The sad thing is I generally love spending time with her and we have such a laugh - but this is years ago now she just doesn't bother to contact me much. I don't think she needs me like I feel I need her. Which is funny really as I'm the married one and she's single so in a way I suppose you'd think it'd be other way round - but that means nothing really. She's clearly happier than me which says something about me and my marriage perhaps

Bonkerz · 27/12/2020 23:05

6 of us. I'm number 5. Don't speak to any of them. 4 my choice and one their choice. I'm at peace with it all.

SantasAnus · 27/12/2020 23:06

I have 4 siblings and we all get on great. Most of the time. Obviously there are the odd failings out here and there, but nothing we can never get past with a sincere apology and a glass of wine.

I love them all so much and we are all completely different.

Funnily enough, despite my husband and I both having great relationships with our own (and each others) siblings, we decided to stick with 1 child ourselves.

Pipandmum · 27/12/2020 23:07

Great. I get on better with one but that's because the other one is as eccentric as they come and very private. They do not get along with each other as well as I do, but I think partly because they share a house, one has a disabled child and the other doesn't, and they have very different incomes.

WhatTheFoot · 27/12/2020 23:08

I have one sister, 8 yrs younger than me. She always wanted to tag along when I went out with my friends, no 16 yr old really wants their little sister cramping their style! We're really close now, I'm so glad we have a good relationship.

ParkheadParadise · 27/12/2020 23:09

Good
I have 5 siblings, I'm the youngest. When we were younger we would argue. I can call my siblings anytime day or night and they would be there for me 100%.
My siblings have got me through the worst experiences of my life.

christmasathomeagain · 27/12/2020 23:09

I have two full siblings and two half (and a number of step who I have no relationship with). Of my full siblings I am really close to one and in touch with and can really on the other. My half siblings we chat via WhatsApp every couple of months. That's about it.

formerbabe · 27/12/2020 23:09

I have one sister...we talk every day and see each other several times a week. Our kids adore each other too.

Metalhead · 27/12/2020 23:12

Same as LindaEllen. Me and my brother get along fine, but we only call each other on birthdays and message maybe once a month (and that’s only really been since we’ve both got kids). We’ve lived in different countries since I was 21, so that may explain some of it.

TheVanguardSix · 27/12/2020 23:13

3 of us. I'm the youngest. And although my 2 brothers are in the States, I am incredibly close to my middle brother but have no relationship, as in total NC, with my eldest brother whose addiction issues have been too much to handle- violence, death threats, put a gun to my mom's head, a pitchfork to my dad's throat, killed my pet rabbit and pet dog... if you loved it, he'd destroy it or try to. He hasn't changed. He got out of prison 2 years ago.
Unbelievably, my middle brother and I are very nice people who've led really low key lives.

HelloDaisy · 27/12/2020 23:14

I have one brother and we are very close and speak most days. We have always got on well but more so since mum died as we have supported each other.

We get on really well with each other’s partners too and often spend weekends together, go on holiday etc etc. Db and dh were friends when we were teenagers though which helps 😊

Propercrimboselecta · 27/12/2020 23:14

My brother and I get on fine but I'm NC with his DW so it complicates things. We do the occasional phone call or family get together.

We get on well with BIL despite how different he is from us.

CandyLeBonBon · 27/12/2020 23:17

I was estranged from my brother for the past 5 years. He committed suicide nearly 3 weeks ago, so pretty much as permanently non-existent as you can get now.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 27/12/2020 23:20

I have one sister. We've always treated each other as VIPs. I feel lucky to have her in my corner and I'd do anything for her. I had a bit if a breakdown early in the pandemic. She called me every day and minded me so well from afar. It helps that's she's a Dr. But she's also the nicest person I know. I'm well again now and I think a fair bit is due to her good support and advice.

ExtraOnions · 27/12/2020 23:21

I have 4 siblings, get on great with 3 of them, talk most days. the 4th moved abroad some years ago so we don’t talk as much

BackforGood · 27/12/2020 23:21

Get on fine with both.
Close in the way of - know we could all rely on each other for help if ever needed, but not in and out of each other's lives.
DB in particular - I don't see very often.
DS, lives closer, so we see each other and the (now grown up) dc saw each other regularly, but we each live our own lives and aren't in and out of each other's pockets.

AriesTheRam · 27/12/2020 23:22

We're close when we see each other but we only see each other 3 times a year

TheFoz · 27/12/2020 23:22

I am from a family of 9, one passed away a very long time ago when I was a toddler. One I would confide in but I wouldn’t with any of the others, though we will pass the time of day together and buy token Christmas gifts for them and gifts for their children. One I am NC with, as are most of my siblings as far as I’m aware. He’s a narcissist.

TheIrishRover · 27/12/2020 23:22

One dsis, she's 3 years older than me. Fought like no one's business into our late teens, proper physical fights. She's always been the cool one, the black sheep who didn't give a shit. Then she left home, i turned 16 and we've been best friends ever since. We live about 30 mins drive from eachother, had dcs at the same time, and she's the only person in the world who gets me. Anything could happen to me (and has happened to me) and she'd be the first person I'd call. She'd be at the door with the drop of a hat and vice versa. We text most days often very perfunctory messages, rarely call eachother. But she's my girl.

RandomMess · 27/12/2020 23:23

Non existent have seen him briefly 3 times in 24 years.

Made my life miserable and no way was he getting near my DC.

justilou1 · 27/12/2020 23:23

It’s perfect because I no longer have one. He’s dangerous, aggressive, entitled and frankly creepy when he’s at his best. My kids are freaked out by him.

ChristmasPerfectionist · 27/12/2020 23:27

I realised recently that I actually don’t like my sister - at least I don’t like spending time with her.

She thinks she is superior to me and speaks to me/treats me like I’m below her or younger than her.

She’s snobbish.

She has a negative/look on the shite side personality.

Luckily I don’t see her much so it’s not much of an issue

I’ve enjoyed writing that down. I may come back with more!

thetaleunfolds · 27/12/2020 23:31

My sister and I used to be very close, but we have a huge falling out 6 years ago and our relationship never recovered. At this point we only speak for the sake of our children

My brother and I get along when we see each other (twice a year most years) but we never text or speak otherwise.

Putting that in writing makes it sound pretty terrible :(

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