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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you date a woman?

276 replies

Whatisthis543 · 27/12/2020 20:38

Chatting to my friend tonight (who is gay and this is relevant to the thread)

She was saying that now she’s single again she thinks that things are a lot more open and more women are open to dating women even if they’re not ‘defining themselves’ as gay. I thought it was an interesting one. I’m in a hetero relationship and have never really thought about it, but have you? Would you?

OP posts:
MrsHugsxx · 29/12/2020 16:17

I have experimented with women but I'm not sexually attracted enough to them to commit to one. I'd always be looking for something more ( from a man).

thepeopleversuswork · 29/12/2020 16:21

No, sadly I am totally heterosexual.

The older I get the more I think I might be emotionally better off in a gay relationship but I couldn't ever imagine having a sexual relationship with a woman.

TurquoiseDragon · 29/12/2020 16:27

Surely being open to dating a woman and not defining yourself as gay or bi is a bit of an oxymoron? If anything that shows that people are outwardly not quite comfortable with sexual orientation? Which is incredibly sad.

I don't see it as this, more that people don't like being labelled, as that can lead to others putting you in a pigeon-hole.

28andold · 29/12/2020 16:35

I don't really think that anyone is 100% gay or straight though

Well it depends if you're referring to sexual arousal or if you want a relationship with the object of desire. I think they're separate. Many women might be turned on by another woman but it would turn their stomach to have sex with or have a relationship with one.

28andold · 29/12/2020 16:36

I dont know how lesbians have sex, but vaginas are disgusting and I would never touch another one but my own.

Sunbird24 · 29/12/2020 16:36

I wouldn’t. I do think plenty of women are attractive but I’m not actually attracted to any of them. I work with a married couple of women who offered to matchmake for me with a woman they know who would apparently be perfect for me and had to point out she’d be missing some vital equipment.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 29/12/2020 16:41

No, I'm straight and don't fancy women.

OlympicProcrastinator · 29/12/2020 16:41

I don't really think that anyone is 100% gay or straight though

I can assure you, you’re wrong.

Respectabitch · 29/12/2020 16:45

Yes, I definitely would. I'm bi and if I were no longer with DH I would probably be more interested in dating women than men. I've never had a girlfriend or met a woman and wanted her to be my girlfriend, but maybe I just haven't met the right one (or had enough sex with her Grin). I'd say I'm about a Kinsey 2.5.

I would be totally giddy to be asked out by a woman, even though I'd have to say no. It would feel like much more of a compliment than being asked out by a man.

WunWun · 29/12/2020 16:59

@28andold

I dont know how lesbians have sex, but vaginas are disgusting and I would never touch another one but my own.
Grow up.
HangOnToYourself · 29/12/2020 17:04

I wish I was gay, the state of men and how they treat women is enough to prove sexuality isnt a choice or there would very few heterosexual relationships left 😂 But unfortunately as much as I have tried i just cant stand the thought of having sex with a woman it does nothing for me.

Chosennonesneakymincepie · 29/12/2020 17:05

Definitely!
I do love my DH but if we did split I think I'd actively seek a woman. I did have a few encounters with women in between my last marriage and this one, along with some drunken fumbles when younger. I am probably bi 70% male and 30% women though 🤷‍♀️

ToastieSnowy · 29/12/2020 17:07

No I’m not attracted to women. Never have

maddy68 · 29/12/2020 17:10

Possibly. I am jwtrisexual but I would never define anyone as a "label" surely you're attracted to personality and humour. So I wouldn't rule it out for definite

KnitsAndGiggles · 29/12/2020 17:11

I would I have had crushes on lesbian friends before - not 100% sure how I feel about the sex but I would be willing to give it a go. Engaged to a man though so it's hypothetical

BrumBoo · 29/12/2020 17:12

Yes I would, and have openly told my husband if we split (or he sadly passes away) I'd probably never date/sleep with another man. To be perfectly honest, if I was as sure of my feelings 10 years ago as I am now, I'd probably never get into a serious relationship with a man. However, we are where we are. I have a lovely family and can put other feelings aside.

Porcupineintherough · 29/12/2020 17:14

No. I just dont have those feelings for other women, or find them sexually attractive, however much I like their personality.

Jollibeezus · 29/12/2020 17:18

@28andold

I dont know how lesbians have sex, but vaginas are disgusting and I would never touch another one but my own.
Lol - apart from the “I wouldn’t touch a vagina apart from my own” this precise line was said to me by my gay male cousin when we were a lot younger. He was utterly grossed out by vaginas - just even the idea of them lol! We were like 16 though. And he’s always been out - some ppl on this thread have said sexuality is a grey area and I generally agree, but am fairly sure my cousin is 100% gay haha
Peace43 · 29/12/2020 17:23

I don’t fancy women but I’d not be offended to be asked out by one. I’d have to say no thank you.

BearSoFair · 29/12/2020 17:35

Yes. Realised/accepted I'm bisexual in my late 20s, already with DH so have never had a same sex relationship but if I were to find myself single again (hopefully not!) I'd definitely be interested.

GrolliffetheDragon · 29/12/2020 17:37

Bi, so yes, if I was single I would happily date a woman. And if anything ever happens that means I'm no longer with DH, I wouldn't be looking for another relationship with a man.

Interesting that so many others here have said the same.

FightingWithTheWind · 29/12/2020 17:43

I'm not even sure how to define my sexuality, but its definitley not straight so yes I would have a relationship with a woman.

Sexnotgender · 29/12/2020 17:44

I wouldn’t entirely rule it out. Depends on the person.

binkyblinky · 29/12/2020 17:45

Yes, I would. If I was attracted to that person!
I'm bisexual but have never had any experiences with another woman, now I'm
Married and it's not likely to happen. Although it won't ever stop me finding some women and some men attractive!

WunWun · 29/12/2020 18:11

So.. any single women who've said yes? 😁