To want to celebrate DCs achievements

[Iamboudicca]

Without it seeming smug?

DC is just 5 and an able child. They surprise me everyday with how quickly they learn.

For example yesterday they tried Monopoly for the first time. They loved it, could read the chance cards and manage the money... and had the whole thing worked out by the third lap of the board!

But I can’t even mention this to most friends as it just sounds smug and boastful but AIBU to want to celebrate their achievements occasionally?

Nobody outside of your immediate family cares...nobody 🤦‍♀️

This sounds like another version of today's/yesterday's 'why don't british people like hearing about children doing well' thread.

I love hearing nice things that friends have done with their children and things their children have done. If I had a gushing update about how amazing one of them thought their DC was for playing monopoly and reading, and how they are stunned at how clever their 5 year old is I'd be smiling nicely, inwardly rolling my eyes and desperately waiting for the person to stop talking.

Was this junior monopoly by any chance?,

My ds1 is insanely bright -as in took his GCSE's at 12 bright and got top marks.
What do I gain from sharing this widely though, nothing. My family and friends celebrate his achievements, as they celebrate all my children's achievements but I'm under no illusion that anyone else is interested.
However it does make things awkward with people I don't know well, when they inevitably ask me about him, and it shouldn't - I answer honestly but some of the reactions I've had from other parents are ridiculous.

Sounds like you are playing the wrong games. Teach them chess and get them into national competitions. Just jokes.

My SN foster child has an upcoming England trial for the Disability cricket team. We are incredibly proud of him. I am also proud of the way he really works hard on his studies as he finds them so hard. He plays chess too. I am so thrilled for him that after a shitty start in life he is now thriving. Nothing wrong with being proud of your child.

Absolutely nothing wrong with being proud of your child. Whoever said there was?!

Informing everyone you have ever met on Facebook about said fabulousness is an entirely different thing!

I have no issue with seeing and hearing about children’s accomplishments.

I just don’t think playing monopoly falls into that category.

I must be lucky that my friends share what I would consider real achievements and not “Cressida did marvellously in Jenga” for example.

Dd1 gets brilliant school reports but blabbing this to my friends would be crass as some of their kids are less academic. Utter cringe.

Grandparents on the other hand...

That’s what the other parent and any grandparents are for.

I probably put more on FB than I should, but my parents are dead, I’m divorced and my siblings have grandchildren of their own, so I don’t really have anyone to share their small triumphs with. So I do put when they’ve passed exams, got into university, and in one case, my DS with ASD appeared on Mastermind, but my friends are kind and indulge me. I’m not sure that playing Monopoly is particularly significant or noteworthy, though.

Can’t you just tell your child how clever they are and you and your DH can be proud. It could even come up in conversation with grandparents. However, there is no need to publicly ‘celebrate’ this.

Just tell immediate family. It isn’t interesting to anybody else. Also, try to just enjoy things without having to share it with anybody else. The satisfaction should still be there without having to tell others.

This is something I really miss now our parents are all gone - having someone I could legitimately tell about all the dc's minor achievements without boring them! (Well it probably did still bore them, but they were too polite to say!)

My middle child (5yo) is incredibly gifted academically - we are currently reading Harry Potter, memorised the times tables and the periodic table and overall is a mini genius. My boasty fb post this year was him giving his brother a cuddle. He has asd, ocd and severe anxiety and this was a big achievement.

I used to be very boasty about him being a genius but this was because I felt awful about how much he struggled when I compared him to other kids and was very insecure as a parent so felt better showing that he is better than other kids in certain ways ways.

Now when I see posts like my past ones I do see them as boasty and probably hiding some insecurities. The same way I see people constantly posting about the wonderful partner/life.

But I'm a social media cynic haven fallen down that hole many times myself.

I can guarantee you that non of your friends will give a shit. Grandparents will perhaps but ultimately the only people who care about a child playing monopoly are the parents.

There's a lovely thread going right now about this, www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/4100982-Forgive-me-Im-that-parent
Check it out, people shamelessly sharing their childs achievements, it made me smile so much

This reminds me a bit of Mil!

My DD was a very early reader (not because she's a genius just because she happened to do it early - just like some kids walk early). As a joke DH made a video of her reading a sentance of Anna Karennina when she was 5 (it was my book and was out as I was reading it) and sent it to Mil. She literally just read one sentance of the book, she obviously would have been completely incapable of reading and understanding this book and DH was very clear this was a joke and wasn't actually DD's reading book. Mil only went and put it on facebook tagging DH and I and basically implying that this was DD's actual current reading book from school. It was SO embarrasing as most people thought we had actually told mil that DD was some kind of child genius when she obviously wasn't.

DS is super into science and since this is mine and DH's area of expertise we have lots of conversations with him about it. One time when DS was about 7 we were having a conversations about black holes. It was a reasonably intelligent conversation but it wasn't like he was solving differential equations or anything. MiL wrote a gushing facebook post about DS basically doing undergraduate physics topics.

Sounds like you need a good dose of my BIL. I mentioned on a family zoom yesterday that my youngest had shown an element of music tendencies - literally said he was picking out single notes and making up little tunes on a friends piano rather than bashing the keys as a 4 year old might. Not once did I say he picked out a known tune, just wasn't making the racket I expected!

His response was to cut me down straight away with 'I am sure that was just a parent thinking it sounded good'! Put me in my place, he can't stand my children to do anything his haven't done!

It is hard, I don't tend to post things like this, but then I do tend to undersell my kids more than up sell them, in private I do big them up. I have one friend who always tells me her son who is my eldests age is a genius, tries to compare them to each other but I say little.

I can't imagine sharing anything like that with anyone but family. Who are wanting to tell?