To want to celebrate DCs achievements

[Iamboudicca]

Without it seeming smug?

DC is just 5 and an able child. They surprise me everyday with how quickly they learn.

For example yesterday they tried Monopoly for the first time. They loved it, could read the chance cards and manage the money... and had the whole thing worked out by the third lap of the board!

But I can’t even mention this to most friends as it just sounds smug and boastful but AIBU to want to celebrate their achievements occasionally?

My niece is a very bright child and has us all amazed. I only share the things she does and says with our family, when I’m taking care of her though, because it really isn’t interesting to others. As her aunty, I love getting the updates about her - they make my day. My sister doesn’t share it all with her friends, they just wouldn’t be that interested and it would look boastful when the other children of my niece’s age still have yet to reach the milestones she went striding past a long time ago.

In short - pick your audience.

It’s the sort of thing you could share with a grandparent though.

I think it’s difficult to do. My DD is ahead in some things, in some cases to a significant degree. I don’t tell others and don’t elaborate when they pick up on it unless it’s a very direct question. I don’t want to brag, make others feel bad or set us up for a fall later on. Don’t see the point of sharing except with grandparents.

I never understand the need to broadcast an achievement (and I’m not sure I’d class that as one). Nothing wrong with it as such, but what is it hoping to achieve?

I praise the crap out of my children when they’ve done something kind, when they’ve worked really hard at something, and for more traditional “achievements” (with the importance in that order) The aim of that is I want them to know that those are good choices and behaviours and that I’m proud of them.

I send some on to the grandparents, if it’s something easily photographed, or for parent’s evening or something because it makes them happy and gives them something to talk about with the kids.

I’m not sure what it achieves to tell anyone else or broadcast on social media. But then I also don’t understand people wishing their kids happy birthday on Facebook when they are too young to have an account and read it.

I’d say, rein yourself in. It’s fascinating for you, and possibly for a few very close family members, but that is it.

Yes, to WhatsApping grandparents or possibly Godparents if you are lacking grandparents who are interested, but limit it to that group. You need to recognise that few people beyond this group would be remotely interested and that by telling more people you are indulging yourself and basically being boastful.

If you enjoy it, keep a note book of these achievements....you can look back and smile over years to come. If you need outside affirmation, then have a think about why that is and try to get to grips with it.

I’m all for sharing children’s achievements but celebrating a game of monopoly?! Maybe that’s one for just the grandparents

Nobody cares... except for close family and it is sooo boring hearing people drone on abouts kids so called "achievements". Enjoy the experience yourself but don't expect others to get excited about something which is no big deal.

I'm not sure I would class playing monopoly as an achievement tbh.

Whichever way you phrase this, it is boasting and will come across smugly. This is the kind of thing, as other posters have already said, that is only interesting to parents or grandparents. Do you have a family WhatsApp group you could use to tell people if you want to?

Oh god don't do it OP. Share with grandparents or doting aunts and uncles if they don't have kids the same age. Everyone's kids can do something their parents think is remarkably advanced. Maybe they can do 500 piece puzzles at 5, maybe they can read and write fluently, maybe they've picked up Italian from grandma or have learned to mutliply and divide quickly in their head. This is all very exciting for the parents and grandparents and they can be proud as they like on the family WhatsApp but broadcast it any further afield and everyone will be rolling their eyes (or if people have children who are a little behind in a certain area it can cause genuine upset). Also kids who are bright and advanced at 5 aren't always advanced any more at 10 so you set yourself up for a fall. Appreciate your child for being kind or trying hard at things they struggle with too.

I found my perfect audience was my mum. We would regale each other with the stories of achievements and exclaim at the general cleverness. We were each others perfect audience for this.
Find your perfect audience, a close relative usually.
No one else tends to find others DC particularly interesting.
I've found myself to be a close friends audience. I don't mind, she has no one else.

Lots of kids can do this - at least the ones who have parents who are engaged with them. Tbh it's more a reflection on you than your child - that your parenting and the opportunities you give them. Children who can't play a board game probably simply never have!

As others have said - this is what grandparents/aunts/uncles are for. I LOVE hearing about my nephews', nieces' and best friends' kids' achievements.

My DD is exceptionally able and, more importantly to me, exceptionally kind. (For example - on Christmas Eve she emptied all the money from her piggy bank and asked if we could go to the local homeless charity to donate it, so we did.)

I'm only human, there are times when I've wanted to boast about her on Facebook or whatever... but I haven't, a) because it's very boring to anyone who isn't Grandma and b) because I don't want to make others feel rubbish (not that they should, but...)

And, yes, sharing a child's achievements is not celebrating them. Celebrating a child's achievements is telling/showing the child how proud you are.

I voted YABU because I think you are to think other people will care about that 😂 Sorry OP.

Sure celebrate your children’s achievement all the way but if my friend told me their 5 year old played monopoly I’d but be like “oh okay”

Broadly, I have never understood this idea that we can't be vocal about our child's achievements in case it upsets others etc. However, I do think you have to be realistic about what is notable and interesting, and frankly, playing a board game is not on the list. Dd won a gymnastics competition recently and we were super proud but we weren't facebooking that because frankly, it's not interesting to most people. She did excitedly post for photos for the family whatsapp though.

You are being unreasonable by playing Monopoly - awful game 😉

Definitely for grandparents or other older relatives. But even there, make sure it doesn't sound like you are in competition with any siblings/SILs you may have.

How excited would you be if a friend celebrated the achievements of their child in this way? Especially if it was something your child couldn't do?

Honestly people aren’t interested in what other people’s children do. Played a game wow. It’s hardly a massive achievement and even if it was no one likes a show off.

This is the sort of thing to tell your oartner or maybe gps about, because they will be interested. No one else really cares!

Interesting that the few people who've assumed a gender, have gone for male.

I would also think that, simply because my experience is that a girl reading at 5 isn't particularly unusual.

It definitely depends on the context, a certificate from school, swimming badge, MOM at a football game etc. A social media post is fine, maybe because the initial award was recognised by a non parent.
Playing a board game, reading a new book, learning times tables probably not so much. It’s not that interesting to other people.

I have one particular friend that we share the small stuff like this with each other. We might share videos of the DC reading when we thing they have improved, home work etc but it’s there on mutual agreement we want to share our children’s small achievements that no one else would be that interested in. Our DC are the same age and we originally met via a mums group so the DC being born at the same time was our ‘connection’. I now consider her a great friend but that connection has continued.

@Brieminewine

I’m all for sharing children’s achievements but celebrating a game of monopoly?! Maybe that’s one for just the grandparents

Not even grandparents.

Maybe if the game was a gift you could tell the giver they enjoyed it and loved being the banker at a push.

I get this. In my friendship group I am the only one who does not have a child with additional needs. My children have had a tougher life than I would like though, I was a single teenage parent and their father was abusive and was in jail. I also work part time, while having little family support, meaning since a reasonably young age my children have had to be very self sufficient in getting themselves organized for school and doing lots of things other kids their age might not have to do.

I support my friends and celebrate their kids achievements. I feel genuinely happy when they learn a new skills or master a new activity but feel like if I even mention my kids doing well or feeling proud about something it gets shut down. It does make me feel a little sad because I don't really have a lot of people to share things with.

Why would your friends need to be involved with your celebration of your child? Surely your child is the person you celebrate their achievements with? Tell your child how smart they are. They’ll love hearing that.

I think it’s worth considering exactly why you’re seeking this external validation.

But mostly - I agree with “pick your audience”.

Playing a board game isn’t an achievement and even if it was, nobody cares but you.