To not speak with her anymore?

[HazelnutHotChocolate]

Name changed as need a hard hat otherwise.
So, is it wrong to not speak to someone anymore who once helped you out a lot and was there for you?
To cut a long story short, we both connected in friendship through shared trauma. She was amazing and I will never forget it. However, while my life has improved hugely and did so after a few months(met a new partner, made a lot of new friends and basically became a lot happier) she never did. Things in a way got worse for her throughout various personal circumstances.
I feel bad for her situation but don't like how she seems unhappy that I am not also feeling as rubbish as her. We have fallen out a few times as she feels I do not value the friendship and got annoyed with me when I forgot to respond to her and return a designer handbag to her as I was busy. This was throughout the coronavirus period but things were unsettled between us before then.
So my question is, is it wrong to just not contact her anymore? And not feel bad for that, accepting some friendships serve only one purpose? I know people will say I am a user but it has changed it's course as some friendships do. She never complains to me but do feel there is never any positivity and it is draining.

OP when are you going to give back the bag?

Ah so she's no longer of use to you. Wait until you're in a shit place again and you'll be alone. You forgot to return a bag she was kind enough to lend you and you act like she's alt be one in the wrong. You sound awful and she is well rid of you. I hope she does well and has a good life. You shallow creature.

Funny because I remember all the people vividly who were there for me through hard times and i treasure them to this day. Even if i may not see a lot of them at times I let them know they are still in my thoughts, especially when they are in a bad place. That's how true friendships work.

Return her bag and let her move on then. Hopefully
she will make decent friends in the future.

Let's hope your fortunes never change - and you don't find yourself alone and down again yourself. Maybe your new friends will drop you like a sack of spuds and then you'll know exactly how she felt.

If this is a reverse, you’re a twat.

YABU and you sound horrible. I met someone about 3 years ago who recognised me as a supportive and sympathetic character. She'd just escaped an abusive relationship and had no friends, she got friendship, social life support and more from me through lots of tough life events. My life took a tricky turn and she met a new bloke and she disappeared. She may never, ever darken my life again.... It's a shitty way to behave especially as an adult woman

What’s a ‘reverse’? Sorry I’m new...!

Aside from the handbag, I could be the other person in this story and am going through something similar. I think it’s awful that you want to stop contacting your friend because your life has improved and her’s hasn’t!

Okay op the more you write the worse you sound. I think she is better off without you.

What’s a ‘reverse’? Sorry I’m new...!

It’s when you post your dilemma from the reversed perspective - e.g. ‘My friend thinks I’m a total bitch just because I slept with her husband and stole her jewellery to pay off my debts. AIBU to punch her in the foof?’ Of course everyone can spot a reverse pretty much straightaway, as even someone who stole from/did the dirty on her friend wouldn’t be daft enough to think she was the injured party.

Sorry, I should have said: when you’re actually the friend who’s had her man/jewellery nicked and got a punch in the foof for her trouble.

The more I read of you, the worse you sound. You’re no friend to her, but I’m guessing even tone-deaf you can suss that if you sit and think about it for just a minute of your done-a-lot-of-work-on-yourself time.

Wow what an entitled self obsessed user! Poor women gave you her time, energy and designer bag and now you’re too good for her? What a bitch!

You sound so self absorbed.

So you acknowledge that she was really there for you when you needed her. Yes friendships drift and you don't have to stay close friends with people forever BUT what you don't do is let her sort you out and you are in a good place THEN call it a day while she is still struggling.

It's not about where you put your energies, it's about being a decent person in someone's time of need,

*my door is always open is short for I'm now not making the effort with you anymore.

You sounds selfish and when you say you wouldn't go running back if your situation changed...yes you would, if you were really struggling of course you would go back to someone who you know was a decent enough person to give you the time to help you out.

Sorry but She sounds 10 of you OP

There is nothing wrong in deciding a friendship has reached the end but there is something wrong with just deciding never to contact the friend again. You, at least, owe it to her to say that you feel the friendship has run its course. To do otherwise is utterly selfish. Considering she has been there in bad times for you, you will be doing her a favour as you clearly aren't able to be supportive in her bad times. Just tell her how you feel because friends are open with each other. Who knows - something good may come out of an open discussion. You may not stay friends but perhaps will learn something about yourselves that will be character-building.