Waiting for ex to pick up the kids

[boxingday2020]

He should have been here at 5pm, still waiting. Can't get hold of him, the children are frustrated and tired of waiting.

It's early 7pm. How long should I wait before telling him I'll put the kids to bed.

Last time I did this after waiting for him for 3 hours I was accused of keeping the kids from him. Don't know what to do.

I feel like telling him see you next Saturday and not open the door if he shows up at 8-9pm?

Next Saturday?
Tel him see you next Tuesday...

How old are the children?

Is there a friend of his or family of his you can contact ??

What an unreliable cunt. Ugh. And he plays the victim. Fuck him.

I’d be so tempted to tell the kids daddy forgot to come and get them so they’d know what a shit person he is but I’m not sure that would hurt anyone but them.

How old are the dc. I’d muddle on until then, no show, put them to bed.

How old are the DC and what is their normal bedtime?

And how long would it take him to get back to his after he had picked them up?

Ugh. What a useless waste of skin and oxygen op.

Is there someone he lives with you can message to see what time he set off, just in case there was an accident . Either way he can get them late in pj's or they're in bed if it's their normal bedtime.

They're 4 and 8. I've just told them if daddy doesn't come soon, you have to get ready for bed. I'll try wait til 8pm.

I think at those ages 7.30 is acceptable. Send him a text stating that 5pm was the agreed time and as you haven't heard otherwise, you hope he is ok (only saying that so that he can't make you out to be a heartless cow) but it's in the children's best interests that they are collected tomorrow morning for their time with him (if he would usually have them sat-Sun).

Your ex is out of order

Can't get my head around people like this, what a shame for your kids.

Does he live far? If he's local maybe you'd be better off dropping them there next time so he can't mess around with times. Then if he's not there when you arrive you take them home again; at least you're not all sitting around waiting that way.

I would allow a small timeframe after the agreed time and any time after that I would assume he wasn't coming and carry on accordingly. If he did rock up I'd inform him of this and that he can now come back on his next contact day, at the right time.

Fuck this shit of dicking children and ex's around. I have no time for people who act like this, and who act like everyone around them should dance to their tune. Like the habitually late.

I am all for giving people the benefit of teh doubt but this is beyond the pale. What would it cost him to call?? I would wait until their normal bedtime and then put them to be. Send him a message asking him to collect them in the morning. Unbelievably unreliable.

Id give half an hour grace, after that he'd be told to jog on. Would be different if he had been in touch to say he was running late but lack of communication would nail it for me!

I just can’t get over a father not bothering to turn up for his children at Christmas.

I'd tell him not to bother and I wouldn't answer the door to him - I have done this so not spouting bravado. So fucking what if he says you're keeping the kids from him? You'll feel better if you stop caring what he thinks and the sooner the better.

DGS’s Dad was supposed to collect him at 10.30 today . Still hasn’t turned up.

Ugh. Your poor kids. I remember how upsetting it was to be waiting for daddy. Forlornly looking out of the living room window every other Saturday morning.

What a cunt he is OP.

I have a perpetually in late ex. I now either drop off, or make it very clear that it's a 15 minute window. If he's more than 15 minutes late and let me know, the fine. But if it's more that 15 minutes late and no message then we do something else (eg go out/put kids to bed etc). His timekeeping has miraculously improved since I put in boundaries.

And in case anyone thinks that's harsh, our children are autistic and can't handle uncertainty or changes to plans at short notice so the lateness really upset them.

I’m of the idea that you let this go this time but that for future ones:

• you do the handover in a public place on the previso that if he doesn’t show up 15 minutes after the arranged time contact is cancelled for the weekend.

• Don’t tell the kids when contact is taking place, better for it to be a bonus when/if dad shows up rather than having them going through the disappointment of not knowing when or if the dad will show up.

I would give him to 8pm and then start bedtime
And not open the door.

This is horrible. I don't know what to advice but I would recommend keeping a record of his behaviour as this is not a fair situation for the children at all.

How crap of him why aren't his DC his priority?

I would give him 20 minutes after pick up time and then do whatever suits you. It's rude to you and unsettling for the children, so a line needs to be drawn.