Banished dh to spare room

[marvelousmadmadammim]

I know I'm not but in DH's eye's he's been hard done by.

Start of lockdown my DH set up his office in our lounge, he got himself a desk and everything.
He works 12hr shifts so it basically meant that our Lounge is unusable for 6 days out of 10.
I have gentle prodded several times about using the spare room instead. It has a tv and recently a WiFi booster- we even had to move a sky box in there so that we could actually watch tv while he was working in the lounge.
His argument against was if people stay he'd have nowhere to work, I said if people stay we have nowhere to relax and have to spend all our time in the kitchen.
A recent work meeting indicated that they would be unlikely to be going back to the office in the foreseeable future. I again brought up the workspace and the kids popped up they think it's unfair we can't use the biggest room in the house, how we all have to sit in the spare room to watch tv while he has the whole front room.

He's decided today to move into the spare room. Cue lots of huffing and puffing, martyrd signing and under the breath muttering.

He's definitely sulking.

YANBU and have put up with his nonsense far longer than I would have.

Who was he expecting to have over to stay?!

YANBU. I can't believe you've all been putting up with it for so long!

His argument against was if people stay he'd have nowhere to work

Then obviously you won't have people stay whilst he is having to work from home. You've put up with this shit far longer than you should have. Is he always this selfish?

@FestiveStuffing

YANBU and have put up with his nonsense far longer than I would have.

A woman after my own heart.

Also - who is staying in these turbulent times? My DS was about to move out a few months ago and brought himself a desk which he had to put together himself. He did this in the living room and then couldn’t move it until he actually left because it was too big.

It was only there for 2 weeks but it was as annoying as hell...

Surely the first flaw in his logic is that the whole reason he’s working from home is because of a global pandemic. So you’re probably not going to be having many people over to stay are you?! I don’t know why you ever let him set up his office in the lounge in the first place since his whole reasoning for doing so makes no sense. Surely you’ve had no one staying the whole time?!

Let him sulk he'll get over it

What a dick. Let the baby sulk.

His argument against was if people stay he'd have nowhere to work, I said if people stay we have nowhere to relax and have to spend all our time in the kitchen.

Who does he intend to have staying in the middle of a pandemic? You have all put up with his shite for far too long.

What a selfish move on his part! You would have been quite reasonable to put your foot down months ago!

YANBU.

I sympathise I had exactly the same situation with DS in the living room in zoom school first lockdown and DH floating about the house like a bad smell with his laptop from kitchen to bedroom. So no space for me as the kitchen adjoins the living room - open plan set up.

After 8 weeks of this I insisted that we move some junk around in the unused spare room, set up a table and used an old tv as a monitor and now he has a proper set up with iPad and work lap top. He was really pleased with it.

My DH is much happier now. And you have been very patient. Maybe its just another level of difficultly for your DH, on top of his work that he just couldn’t get his brain around and/or just couldn’t get his arse into gear.

But he’s done it now. Well done. Enjoy the space!

Explain then that for the one day at the very end of the year that we may actually be in with a chance of being allowed overnight guests; then you will graciously allow him to use the living room to work.

Why were people banished to other rooms? We've both been at home since March and work both work in the spare room majority of the time. When one of has to jump on a Zoom the other leaves the room and goes work where ever they want. Seems crazy that they have to have a whole room to themselves the whole time they are working. The amount of times I've laid in bed/sofa to work is uncountable.

He's selfish and really, how often are you having people staying in these times??

You “gently prodded” your husband to not take over the entire front room and instead had you and your children squashed into the spare room to relax?

Really? Why on earth do people put up with this sort of stuff? DH does zoom calls in the kitchen because he prefers it. I told him right from the start of DD or I need to use the kitchen whilst he is doing that, he just has to put up with that. He has a perfectly good desk in DDs playroom he can use.

Quite common I think
My DH always likes to work in the lounge and has been since March and for the foreseeable. However there's only the two of us so I don't actually mind too much but with kids and longer hours !!

He's being very selfish.
Both me and DH are working from home and neither of us would dream of taking over the main living space and banishing family members to the spare room to watch tv.
I can't believe you put up with it for so long.

He's taken over family space all this time?

I'd have told him spare room or garden - his choice,

He can huff all he likes, selfish git.

@ChristmasAlone

Why were people banished to other rooms? We've both been at home since March and work both work in the spare room majority of the time. When one of has to jump on a Zoom the other leaves the room and goes work where ever they want. Seems crazy that they have to have a whole room to themselves the whole time they are working. The amount of times I've laid in bed/sofa to work is uncountable.

Depends what you do though doesn’t it? If you’ve got the sort of job where you’re on calls most of the time your setup wouldn’t work. Also different people work well in different ways - I often have to review hundreds of rows of data and write very technical documents and I find I have to be sat upright at a desk to work effectively, slumping on a sofa or a bed isn’t good for me.

DP’s always worked from home so got a garden office years ago. I’ve now set up with a £40 IKEA desk in the spare bedroom. There is no way we could work in the same room as each other.

What's the attraction for him of working in the main room?

Don’t gloat just let him get on with it. He probably thought it would much more temporary.
Still vvv UR. And selfish of him.
Of course YANBU

Who are all these men who “like” to work in sitting room? Fuck that. Spare room, study, job done.

Let him sulk. He'll get over it.

Is he just lazy about having to move things, or is it that he thinks he'll feel more alone and shut out in the spare room? Or maybe he doesn't like giving up the larger room for a smaller space... In any case, he has to know that this is more practical, for him as well as everyone else. Now he has a dedicated work space and can more easily have the mindset of leaving work behind when he shuts the door and returns to the rest of the house. I'd imagine the spare room is also quieter, with fewer distractions.

bloody hell. I would have been using the living room anyway. that would have shifted him.