Banished dh to spare room

[marvelousmadmadammim]

I know I'm not but in DH's eye's he's been hard done by.

Start of lockdown my DH set up his office in our lounge, he got himself a desk and everything.
He works 12hr shifts so it basically meant that our Lounge is unusable for 6 days out of 10.
I have gentle prodded several times about using the spare room instead. It has a tv and recently a WiFi booster- we even had to move a sky box in there so that we could actually watch tv while he was working in the lounge.
His argument against was if people stay he'd have nowhere to work, I said if people stay we have nowhere to relax and have to spend all our time in the kitchen.
A recent work meeting indicated that they would be unlikely to be going back to the office in the foreseeable future. I again brought up the workspace and the kids popped up they think it's unfair we can't use the biggest room in the house, how we all have to sit in the spare room to watch tv while he has the whole front room.

He's decided today to move into the spare room. Cue lots of huffing and puffing, martyrd signing and under the breath muttering.

He's definitely sulking.

Can't believe you put up with it so long. Spare room or the shed. Let the selfish sod sulk. Well done for getting your lounge back for family time.

What a complete wazzock!
Why on earth didn’t he work this out for himself months ago?
It was hardly a difficult problem to solve.
Which means he is either dense, or selfish, or both.
Do not acknowledge his sulk. What a baby!

Totally fair and tbh it seems mad that there is an empty spare room he could have been using as an office all along!

Even if people come to stay over the coming months presumably it would be for a week max, surely worse comes to worst he could just work from your bedroom or one of your kids' rooms if they have a desk available?

Very selfish of him to hog the main living space.

I literally had to take my entire desktop, monitors (x2) etc home, so I set up in the spare room right from the start. My DH has a laptop, but he works in the dining room mostly leaving the living room and kitchen free. I’d not be having him taking over the living room that’s for sure. You’ve been far too tolerant!

You should have continued to use the living room.

The neat decision for the family was the use the spare room. But he didnt care about working as a unit and doing the best for everyone. He cared about himself. You should have dont exactly the same; just dont what you wanted.

And who would you he having to stay in a pandemic? Everyone in the country started working from home and used their spare rooms if the had them. You work every day; someone coming to stay (during a pandemic) was very unlikely and would have been for a short period. There was absolutely no reason for him not to use it... other than being a selfish dick who needed the biggest room in the house to work in. I'm guessing he's all about getting his hands on the biggest office in his companies too.

You have been very patient. Why?

Very selfish, - sound so "Look at meeee doing work!" He was making damn sure the rest of the household was;

A)aware of him working, and B) not able to do the things they want/relax.

Well done for booting him into the spare room - don't weaken!

Very selfish and self centred. And sorry but you’re stupid for not carting him to the spare room months ago. He’s a precious dick.

Very selfish. Shame it took his kids calling out him being so self centred for him to actually move. Let him sulk

Let him sulk and huff and puff as long as he shifts into the spare room, it's about bloody time he stopped dominating the entire household.

Holy shit, I would have sent him packing.

Is he as selfish as this about other things too?

@Nousernameforme

What's the attraction for him of working in the main room?

I expect it's about demonstrating how important he and his Manly Job are.

YANBU! Dh and I have set up home office in our back room and it's a right chuff when the kids are home but the spare room isnt big enough for the both of us, so no choice. But in your situation, why wouldnt you?

@marvelousmadmadammim. You have more patience than Mother Theresa.

Why on earth didn’t you shove him in there to start with? Actually, why didn’t he shove himself? Taking over the family space is extremely unfair of him.

He will get over it!!

Just ignore him he will settle in his new office and be fine!!

Let him sulk it is the right decision for the family

What a selfish manchild and bloody awful role model for his kids.

Why did you put up with it?

Oh shit this thread has reminded me I must clear out all of mine and my DH’s work stuff from the spare room and make sure it’s ready for guests. No wait, it’s a pandemic and NO ONE IS STAYING OVER, EVER.

The living room is for living. Nobody should have to walk on eggshells in their own home. You've done the right thing. If there is another usable room is makes absolute sense for him to be in there!

I'm just amazed you let him camp there for as long as he did! Selfish wanker.

YANBU. You have a spare room, I am baffled as to why he'd want to use the living room in the first place.

He is being very unreasonable but he's moving now so I'd help him make the spare room as comfortable and efficient as possible. In a few weeks time he'll probably have forgotten he ever wanted to work anywhere else and be taking the credit for the move.

Gently prodded? You'll find a kick up the backside far more effective!