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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Buy your own stuff then

84 replies

Tinsel57 · 26/12/2020 16:57

Brought partner some gifts. Opens each of them saying “I don’t need one of these” and “why u got me this for my kettle works fine” “Why u brought me that and where am I going to put it”. His kettle is on its way out by the way!!
Those were his responses whilst opening most things. Well today I told him exactly how ungrateful he is and that going forwards I will not be buying him gifts again. He is now offended that I shared my mind and has gone off in a huff. AIBU to think he can piss off.

OP posts:
notacooldad · 26/12/2020 20:13

To be fair I wouldn't be iver the moon about a kettle. I had to but a new one recently and I'm happy to get it from Facebook market place. I am thinking if a new TV but if someone got me a 50 inch one u would think they had gone mad. I hate telly's that big. Maybe he thought the same especially as he got you nice things.
A bit rude of him though to be so blunt.

doctorhamster · 26/12/2020 20:15

He was incredibly ungrateful but to be fair I'd be horrified if someone bought me a 50 inch TV. I'd still manage to be polite about it before asking for the receipt though!

kowari · 26/12/2020 20:17

Perhaps he feels suffocated by the expensive presents? I'm not saying you have done this, but some people buy excessive gifts as a way of keeping someone beholden in a relationship. It can be very manipulative.
Yes, a gift that expensive would certainly feel excessive to me, like love bombing, it would make me feel uncomfortable. That's on top of a replacement appliance being inappropriate as a gift as you don't know if the person wanted it replaced.

Tinsel57 · 26/12/2020 20:24

I wasn’t trying to “keep him” in the relationship at all. He’s bought me an iPhone before which I know cost him a Bomb. I’ve paid for a holiday for us both before and likewise he has. He has got me other expensive items in the past so I thought I’d do the same this time. Needn’t have bothered

OP posts:
EdgeOfACoin · 26/12/2020 20:33

He sounds as though nobody has ever taught him any manners.

Tbh, I wouldn't be thrilled about getting trainers for a present. Shoes are the kind of thing that you really need to try on for size. I don't mind other clothes for presents, but not shoes.

coldwaterfeed · 26/12/2020 21:12

@notacooldad

To be fair I wouldn't be iver the moon about a kettle. I had to but a new one recently and I'm happy to get it from Facebook market place. I am thinking if a new TV but if someone got me a 50 inch one u would think they had gone mad. I hate telly's that big. Maybe he thought the same especially as he got you nice things. A bit rude of him though to be so blunt.
I wouldn't like it if someone got me trainers, I prefer to choose my own. Why are trainers nicer than a 50" smart TV?
ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 26/12/2020 22:12

@Tinsel57

But when we go out shopping and browsing he goes on about wanting a smart tv. So *@ReceptacleForTheRespectable* not thoughtless at all. I also don’t see what wrong with replacing a broken kettle. All the gifts he brought me, I have already but it doesn’t hurt to have more !
If he wanted a smart TV, he probably also wanted to choose the exact size / brand etc. A 50 inch TV will dominate the room it sits in, it's a big decision to make about someone else's house, and not an appropriate gift unless someone has asked for it. I mean, would you buy someone a sofa they hadn't asked for?

And replacing a broken kettle just isn't a good gift! Gifts are meant to be a personal treat, something the recipient will get enjoyment from. Who enjoys a kettle?

That doesn't change the fact that he was rude and ungrateful, but I don't sign up to the idea that spending ££££ means the gifts must be amazing. It's quite possible to spend a lot and still buy inappropriate gifts.

(I feel the same about trainers tbh. Unless you specified the brand/size, footwear isn't a great gift as it needs to be tried on.)

notacooldad · 26/12/2020 22:40

I wouldn't like it if someone got me trainers, I prefer to choose my own. Why are trainers nicer than a 50" smart TV?
Trainers are easier to exchange for a start.
Usually someone wears a certain style so it's easier to pick up on someone's personal taste for second!

ToniTheDonkey · 27/12/2020 00:18

I would have loved a new telly for Christmas. I’d have been happy with a kettle. My OH didn’t give me any presents.

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