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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Turned up on doorstep

59 replies

Decadoma · 26/12/2020 13:55

I had a relative who lives over half an hour drive away and in a seperate tier turn up on my doorstep expecting to be able to come inside with their family. I've heard since they thought I was unwelcoming. We've had no-one over since September since our daughter returned to school.
I don't like being thought of as rude but I was shocked and in shock at this happening. AIBU?

OP posts:
LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 · 26/12/2020 13:57

Nope, in covid era people shouldn’t expect to come in, that’s rude.

Imelda03 · 26/12/2020 14:00

Really inconsiderate YANBU, did you feel you needed to invite them in?

contrmary · 26/12/2020 14:04

It's rude to just turn up unannounced at any time. In the current environment it's even more selfish than usual.

Vitaminsss · 26/12/2020 14:05

They definitely should have asked first. They probably didn’t on purpose so you’d feel pressurised to invite them in as they were already there!

WorraLiberty · 26/12/2020 14:07

We've had no-one over since September since our daughter returned to school.

You explained this and they still thought you were unwelcoming because you didn't let the in?

Fuck 'em. You can't get more unreasonable than that.

Thehop · 26/12/2020 14:08

We’ve had to do the same it was awful

TurquoiseDragon · 26/12/2020 14:10

They are the rude ones, OP, not you. In these Covid times, who goes uninvited to someone's house now, unless you're in a bubble?

WeeDangerousSpike · 26/12/2020 14:10

They're utterly ridiculous. Hopefully all the people they're spouting at about you being unwelcoming have told them they're idiots.

vanillandhoney · 26/12/2020 14:11

They're the rude ones! Cheeky fuckers.

Original poster
Decadoma · 26/12/2020 14:15

I kinda knew I wasn't being AIBU but I have been put on the backfoot so much by it.
I hate being rude 😂.
I almost couldn't speak as I was so surprised. Other person thought I'd been put in an awkward situation too
Things are hard enough without this sort of rubbish

OP posts:
MindyStClaire · 26/12/2020 14:15

With anything like this, something along the lines of "oh how lovely to see you, what a shame we can't invite you in! Strange times aren't they, how are you finding things?" says breezily with a big smile works wonders I find. YANBU.

Heartwaffle · 26/12/2020 14:18

I haven't seen my brother or my grandad for 9 months and if they turned up on my doorstep I'd be really mad! They live in another country though so can't see that happening...

WorraLiberty · 26/12/2020 14:22

@Decadoma

I kinda knew I wasn't being AIBU but I have been put on the backfoot so much by it. I hate being rude 😂. I almost couldn't speak as I was so surprised. Other person thought I'd been put in an awkward situation too Things are hard enough without this sort of rubbish
Yes but when you did speak, what did you say?

They'd have to be incredibly dim not to understand why you wouldn't let them in.

BlueThistles · 26/12/2020 14:24

Idiots.. you YANBU 🌺

stovetopespresso · 26/12/2020 14:25

if you can be bothered, phone them and explain? send some gingerbread? I find it astounding how many people bend and twist the serious situation/rules to suit them as if they haven't accepted whats happening. big families meeting outside, people staying "just a couple of nights", driving between tiers, its like they are too blind to accept the reality. I feel sorry for them thay its so crap but frustrated in equal measure.

Nottherealslimshady · 26/12/2020 14:25

Well that's rude in normal circumstances but I'd never expect to go in someones house in current circumstances. How strange!

coldwaterfeed · 26/12/2020 14:27

YANBU. How did the conversation go, OP?

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 26/12/2020 14:29

YANBU op. I'm in tier 4 and my relative thinks I'm rude as I said no to going over to her house to cut her hair. I'm ignoring her now so she can genuinely say I'm rude.

ChristmasAlone · 26/12/2020 14:29

I have never personally, nor would I expect to have people knocking on my door on boxing day unannounced!

Sobeyondthehills · 26/12/2020 14:29

Turning up without an invite with their whole family is just rude, did they expect you to feed them as well?

TeenageMutantNinjaCovid · 26/12/2020 14:36

It depends

Single person who has been all alone I would take it as a call for help

TeenageMutantNinjaCovid · 26/12/2020 14:37

Whole family- not a cry for help

Thedarknightsaredrawingin · 26/12/2020 14:43

YANBU at all.

IMNOTSHOUTING · 26/12/2020 14:47

It's an odd thing to do on Boxing even aside from Covid - what if you were busy or all just having a slobby PJ day and watching a film. It's especially silly at the moment.

m0therofdragons · 26/12/2020 14:50

I guess it depends what you said. If you screamed “go away!” And slammed the door in their faces then that would be unwelcoming but if you said “goodness, what a surprise! So lovely to see you but I’m just so sorry I’m not able to let you in. Let me grab my coat so I can come outside and talk to you so all the heat doesn’t escape with the door open” then that’s fine.

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