Turned up on doorstep

[Decadoma]

I had a relative who lives over half an hour drive away and in a seperate tier turn up on my doorstep expecting to be able to come inside with their family. I've heard since they thought I was unwelcoming. We've had no-one over since September since our daughter returned to school.
I don't like being thought of as rude but I was shocked and in shock at this happening. AIBU?

If someone knocks on my door that Im not expecting I dont even open the door lol.

who shows up uninvited? thats the epitome of rude

@m0therofdragons

I guess it depends what you said. If you screamed “go away!” And slammed the door in their faces then that would be unwelcoming but if you said “goodness, what a surprise! So lovely to see you but I’m just so sorry I’m not able to let you in. Let me grab my coat so I can come outside and talk to you so all the heat doesn’t escape with the door open” then that’s fine.

it was minus tempratures and snowing here, would I bollox waste my christmas day and time with my kids standing out in the cold and talk to an uninvited tresspasser.

You were not rude, they were. Don't give it another thought.

“goodness, what a surprise! So lovely to see you but I’m just so sorry I’m not able to let you in. Let me grab my coat so I can come outside and talk to you so all the heat doesn’t escape with the door open”

But why should OP have to go outside in the cold on Boxing day to talk with people who didn't have the sense to ring and ask before turning up?

Who was it op, was it a family member?

It would have annoyed me too.

There are these things called telephones. Mobile ones too. So no need ever to turn up at anyone's house unannounced, unless you are a few yards from a house fire, car crash or accident and cannot call the emergency services yourself.

Covid or no Covid. YANBU.

My DNiece asked if she could come round to see us just before christmas to drop off gifts. I had already sent theirs down to her house weeks before. I said she couldnt come in as we are tier 3. Also her husband is a nurse so higher than average risk. She said she would stand in the garden. Ok then. She appeared on 23rd, in the pissing down rain, with her 9 month old baby in her arms. She parked on my driveway so could have left baby in the car (while she stood next to it) and I would have stepped outside to chat to her but clearly didnt. She then explained how she had just been to her mums round the corner (my DS) and to her grandmas (my DM). She asked if I wanted to hold the baby (no, I dont want to pass anything on to her). She commented on how warm my house looked multiple times (Yes, it is). She commented on my tree behind me and said the baby loves lights (im sure she does, chritmas lights are fantastic). She stayed there for 20 minutes before leaving. I then had my sister on the phone laughing about how unwelcoming and quirky I am .

Crazy fucking bastards, the lot of them.

@Decadoma

They came into the hall - I genuinely felt I couldn't stop it without being rude in front of the children, they did not stay long, I stayed away as it's big enough and disinfected after. It felt like damage limitation. Even when we were allowed folk in over summer I was scrupulously clean before anyone came in. Thing is, for me, I would never want to put someone else at risk. I genuinely think (and hope) that this was just someone being a bit scatty and not thinking. I don't really feel comfortable enough to challenge at present without it escalating. I'm just going to distance myself fore a while. If they think I was rude it's really their issue not mine.

I think it’s more important for your children to witness you being assertive and not a pushover tbh

Who the hell drives for more than half an hour in order to show up on someone's doorstep WITH NO PREVIOUS ARRANGEMENT?

Has it not crossed your mind that people might be nearby, having been out for another purpose and thought 'Oh I wonder if so and so is in?' (in normal times) - for example as a pp put here - she was opposite a friend's house for another reason. To my mind, it would then be daft not to knock the door and say hi.
However, I'm a normal person who actually likes their friends, and I ave normal friends who wouldn't give two hoots if the house weren't tidy, etc etc.
Just to reiterate, for the hard of reading, I'm talking about in normal times.
However, on Christmas Eve we had 6 different individuals and families ring the doorbell as they dropped things off. It was lovely, in these weird times to actually pull a coat on and be able to have a chat with real humans for a few minutes. I'd have been most disappointed if any of them hadn't knocked (2 lots, had arranged in advance, the others hadn't).

In our world, it's not rude, it is friendly.
This argument appears on MN on a pretty regular basis, and I'm certainly not the only person that thinks like this.