DP doesn't like his present

[CoffeeAndWinePlease]

DP doesn't like his main present and I feel awful about it.

It's been a tough year and we originally agreed to do no presents this year and spend the money on the house instead.

Earlier this month I (finally!) passed my driving test and DP kindly gave me some money to put towards getting a car.

In order to show my appreciation, I wanted to get him something so he had something to open and spent some time looking around and picked out (with help from his friends) a piece of jewellery for him along with other bits.
He opened it this morning and hates it.
He's not been nasty about it at all and says he feels bad about not liking it because of the effort and thought behind it.
He's adamant he's not fussed and didn't want anything anyway but I just can't help feeling like I've put a downer on Christmas by getting it so wrong.
To make matters worse, he got me a very thoughtful gift which I love.

AIBU for feeling a bit down about it? I find DP so hard to buy for and am just a bit sad that after 6 years I still can't nail it. Asking him doesn't help because he just says he doesn't want anything.

Oh god. Why can’t men be more tactful. Sorry he’s made you feel bad. I’d never say I didn’t like something and my husband and mum very rarely get me things I like. But i would hate to make them feel bad.

Honestly, some people are literally impossible to buy surprise gifts for. I don't think my DP even gets the concept of getting something that he hasn't researched for hours himself. Possibly with the exception of chocolate or booze. It's not you.

Really @1950s1 ?
Are you his Mum??

@thedevilinablackdress

Really *@1950s1* ? Are you his Mum??

yes really, and no

Surprise presents are hard OP, some people are just very fussy even if your thinking is spot on. Can it be returned or exchanged? Next year, don't accept him saying he doesn't want anything and ditch the surprises.

On one hand he feels comfortable enough with you to tell you how he feels, on the other he should know when a white lie makes someone feel good. My late husband gave me a carved jewelry box once - it was awful I hated it. It wasn't expensive but he was so pleased with himself. I told him it was lovely. I never used it though.

Ah...don't feel bad. Can it be exchanged?

If he’s said it in a nice way, please don’t feel bad. Make a note to return it and ask what he would like. I understand tact etc but I’ve always hated when in the past I felt that I had to pretend I like something. So on top of disappointment, I had to pretend to like the gift!

It’s nice that he felt he could be honest in, what sounds like a gentle way. Put a smile on and agree you both not worry about it.

Thanks for the support.

I think I'm just being a bit oversensitive and overthinking it, especially with the past year cancelling many plans and a big birthday of his coming up soon.

He did say he loved the sentiment and it was small things, like the thickness of the setting that just meant he didn't like it.

DP is one of those people who if they see something they like, they'll buy it there and then which is incredibly frustrating.

In previous years, I've actually caught him about to buy the present I've already got him so have had to stop him.

Yes...pissed off is a somewhat....strong....response, unless you are indeed the Dp's mum. Or the DP That's aimed at 1950's.

@Goslowlysideways

Oh god. Why can’t men be more tactful. Sorry he’s made you feel bad. I’d never say I didn’t like something and my husband and mum very rarely get me things I like. But i would hate to make them feel bad.

Sounds like he has been quite tactful saying he appreciates the effort and that it doesn't matter. He's OP's partner - it's perfectly fine for him to say he doesn't like a gift (can it be taken back and changed for something he does like?). Much more honest that falsely pretending he loves it.

I think life would be a bit boring if we were all so predictable that we could anticipate each others likes and dislikes every single time. If it was the other way round and I got a present that I didnt like (it has happened) i wouldnt mind at all unless the giver got all sulky that I didnt like it if that makes sense

Don't panic, I doubt you've ruined Christmas. A bit tactless of him to say he didn't like it, honest but tactless. At least you know what not to get him next time. He's probably happy just spending the day with you.

Don't feel bad - hopefully it can be exchanged. Please ignore @1950s1 - MN always gets people (bored on Chrismas Day) who seem to enjoy being nasty.

My DD hated her main present this year and now I feel like utter shit. So I know exactly how you feel.

I think he was rude to say he didn’t like it, especially today. If you can tell someone made a big effort then you say thank you and seem grateful even if you hate it and if it’s your dh or dw then you leave it a few days at least and then suggest maybe something else might be better. Or somehow say something. I feel sorry for you op.

I'm not the OP's anything but they have been w/ him for 6 years I'd be pissed off if my partner didn't know me well enough to know what to get me especially after that long

I know the feeling - DH is nigh on impossible to buy for and sometimes I’ve tried so hard and it’s fallen flat.

Don’t worry, it’s good he can be honest. Can you return it?

Pour yourself a glass of something nice and enjoy the rest of the day without beating yourself up.

What was it?

Really @1950s1 ?
Are you his Mum??

No, 'she' is the DP.