DP doesn't like his present

[CoffeeAndWinePlease]

DP doesn't like his main present and I feel awful about it.

It's been a tough year and we originally agreed to do no presents this year and spend the money on the house instead.

Earlier this month I (finally!) passed my driving test and DP kindly gave me some money to put towards getting a car.

In order to show my appreciation, I wanted to get him something so he had something to open and spent some time looking around and picked out (with help from his friends) a piece of jewellery for him along with other bits.
He opened it this morning and hates it.
He's not been nasty about it at all and says he feels bad about not liking it because of the effort and thought behind it.
He's adamant he's not fussed and didn't want anything anyway but I just can't help feeling like I've put a downer on Christmas by getting it so wrong.
To make matters worse, he got me a very thoughtful gift which I love.

AIBU for feeling a bit down about it? I find DP so hard to buy for and am just a bit sad that after 6 years I still can't nail it. Asking him doesn't help because he just says he doesn't want anything.

Don't stress OP I really struggle to buy DP gifts. Ignore the silly pp, in most ways I know DP back to front inside out ,I can almost always predict what he will do next (it helps that hes a routine person ) but he also doesn't really want anything gift wise. Ever. He just doesn't work like that so I guess and get it wrong. It's not that he is fussy it's just when it is something he needs , he usually has an idea in his head what he needed.

Trouble is he doesn't ever think to share this....to anyone he always gets it right with me but he pointed out I tend to vocalise my interests , specific tastes etc far more than him i do in fact talk for england

He has never held it against me ,I do many many other things that are thoughtful for him and he genuinely gets pleasure for getting me something I will love. Don't stress OP you haven't ruined a thing.

If he's really not into it can you return it? I wouldn't be down about it though!

My DH loves buying gifts. He buys all the presents and spends months doing it. He always goes overboard.
I hate being given gifts. I dont feel like I deserve them and feel like the money should be spent on the kids and house. I've had a few gifts from him that I've fake loved and then hidden them away at the back of my wardrobe. Honestly I'm pretty envious of how honest your husband is, he loves your idea just not quite the execution and if you work together you'll get the perfect piece he will love for years.

Jewellery is hard to fake liking - if you say you like it they will notice when you don't wear it.

I think it's also really tricky to buy jewellery for someone without any input.

This won't help you OP but it is about getting a gift wrong and it might make you smile . I bought some perfume for my friend's birthday earlier this month. It was a brand I know she likes. I got it from Amazon, it cost €23. She's just told me, very embarrassed, that it gave her a terrible allergic reaction. She took the bottle to the doctor who looked up the ingredients, three of which were well known allergens, and what's more it's being sold elsewhere for €1.39. So obviously a fake. We had a good laugh about it afterwards. She said she had to tell me in case I did it again!! (Amazon have withdrawn it so I can't even leave a bad review, but I am sending it back and saying why. I think I'll just give her the cash!)

Don't feel bad! You tried - no one always gets it right. My DH is usually really great at getting me fab and thoughtful presents, and this time, he def got it wrong but no harm done, we're all adults (and he's already offered to exchange it for something else).
And just to add, he's super-difficult to buy for, too, you're not alone!

When you are given a gift that you don't like then you act with some tact, today was not the day to raise it, he haa put a downer on it behaving like an ungrateful brat. Later on fair enough find a tactful way o , arranging and exchange, but on the day you say thank you and smile.

Put your big girl pants on. You bpughtca thoughtful gift. He hasnt learned to be grateful. Thats his problem. Don't make it yours

I’ve bought a few for my DH over the years that he’s admitted later that he hasn’t liked, usually because it’s never made an appearance afterwards. Although I’ve felt a bit bad I prefer that he is honest, I don’t want him wearing something that he doesn’t like. How many of us would say wear a top they’ve picked for us we didn’t like?

Gifts for anyone can be hit or miss. What someone mentions they 'love' in October they're disenchanted with in December. That's why DH and I do wish lists. We list everything from the 'cheap' to the practical to the ridiculous (cars, expensive jewelry, pricy electronics etc). We either choose from the list or use it to think of things that are similar to something on the 'ridiculous' list.

We've been married over 30 years. If either DH or I get it 'wrong' we simply thank the other for the thought and ask if it would be OK to exchange it? It always is, because it doesn't hurt our feelings at all. We'd rather the other get something they'd truly enjoy than hang on to something they don't like.

How many times are women told on here that if they don't like a present to speak up & get something they do like?

So why doesn't it apply to Op's husband?

Even if he's got a couple similar he might not want more for example?

Would people really rather that something went unused?

My husband normally gets things right but one year he bought me the most dreadful bead for my Pandora bracelet, really ugly chunky thing. I hated it as soon as i saw it, but put it on my bracelet and as soon as dh saw it on there he could tell I didn't really like it and I apologised but said I really couldn't wear it, so we took it back and got something I loved that had the same sentiment behind it but wasn't fuck ugly!!!

In previous years, I've actually caught him about to buy the present I've already got him so have had to stop him.

So you obviously do nail it sometimes. Don't worry - just go with him to change it for something he does like.