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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Re-gifting becoming the norm?

92 replies

DishingOutDone · 25/12/2020 13:02

Sat down this morning and had our obligatory re-gifted odd items from a pair of elderly relatives, everything from novelty socks to soap on a rope. We are fine with this, it usually quite amusing and sometimes the stuff they send proves very handy.

Moved on to younger, very comfortable family members/friends gifts and found the same had happened. Not so amusing. Some stuff you could see the boxes were damaged and they'd done the rounds for a while. Felt a bit sad for teenage DDs opening it all, of course they got some nice stuff from me/their Dad, but everything I'd sent out was new and everything we got back was re-gifted.

It made me wonder that if it has gone beyond elderly relatives doing it, do younger (20s-30s) people think its ok now to resort to re-gifting as the norm rather than something done now and again?

OP posts:

Chloemol · 25/12/2020 16:21

Re gifting good quality undamaged unopened gifts is not a problem as long as it’s suitable for the person you are giving to

It saves on waste, and what’s the difference between doing it sensitively and giving to a charity shop, where someone will only buy it and gifts it on?

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 25/12/2020 16:22

I guess it depends what it is. My now ex boyfriend bought me a load of bath sets one year despite the fact I'm allergic to most of them. I re-gifted them to my friends teenagers the next year. But its the kind of thing I used to buy them anyway so made no difference.

The year my Grandma died my Mum gave me most of the things she had bought for her because we liked the same stuff.

If its random tat you wouldn't want then that's different.

thepeopleversuswork · 25/12/2020 16:24

@Chloemol

Re gifting good quality undamaged unopened gifts is not a problem as long as it’s suitable for the person you are giving to

It saves on waste, and what’s the difference between doing it sensitively and giving to a charity shop, where someone will only buy it and gifts it on?

It's not a problem if its suitable... but often it isn't suitable.

More often than not you walk away feeling like the person doing the regifting wants a pat on their back for being a good green citizen and you're stuck with something you don't want and have to find room space for.

I'd rather people used the council for that than tried to rebadge it as gifting.

CoronaIsWatching · 25/12/2020 16:24

I wouldn't. I think it's hilarious how MN slags off Baylis & Harding but more than happy to re-gift it or donate it to school raffles. Now THATS cheap.

Crankley · 25/12/2020 16:25

I received two gifts from a friend who, had she thought about me for more than half a second, rather than wandering the aisles thinking 'that will do', would have realised that I would not use either gift.

Both were immediately rewrapped and given to other people who I thought would like them.

SwedishK · 25/12/2020 16:37

I have re-gifted things in the past and as far as I’m aware it’s gone down well. It’s mainly things like Jo Malone perfume, White Company diffusers and once even a Tiffany’s necklace which wasn’t to my taste but I knew DD would love it. I’m allergic to perfume but I always used to get stuff like that from work and I had no use for it. To me it depends a bit who it is that has given it to me. I wouldn’t re-gift something someone in my family got me but I don’t mind if it’s from my boss or so.

Mammy20 · 25/12/2020 16:39

Charity shop usually, or if I know someone that could use it, I give it to them but not as a Christmas present or Birthday present, but just offer if they want it without occasion. It’s more like I have this and this that was given to me as a present but I don’t like it , I don’t need it so you can have it if you want, as it will be going to charity shop anyway.

TheSunIs · 25/12/2020 16:45

One of my children got some really princess-ey stuff, not them at all. Unopened and will re-gift if we have on occasion to attend with someone who would actually like it! Otherwise, they'll go to charity shop. Re-gifting is okay, in my opinion, if the person receiving it would actually like it. I wouldn't gift to someone I knew wasn't into princesses.

withmycoffee · 25/12/2020 17:05

@FTEngineerM

If you don’t like a gift it’s still saving you money having to buy another present. Regifting is good.

If you are re-gifting something to someone without any thought of whether the gift is something the recipient would like, then you have completely misunderstood what the art of gifting is. If you give it just because you have it and don't want it then it is not a gift. It is treating the recipient as a dump to throw your trash. Gifts are supposed to be things the recipient would LIKE

DrManhattan · 25/12/2020 17:07

Its a bit mean and cheap to regift aload of crap to a child. If you don't want it, give it away but don't pass it off a new present.

Ohdoleavemealone · 25/12/2020 17:07

Regifting is fine where the presents are generic. Office secret santa, kids bday parties when they invite the whole class etc.

In these circumstances, where there isn't a personal connection to the gift giving, I feel it is okay to regift.
When you know the person and the gifting is supposed to be an act of love, then it is thoughtless to regift.

MintyMabel · 25/12/2020 17:08

I once got a clearly regifted box of guilyan chocolates and was miffed. Until I actually ate one and realised I loved them. They are on every Christmas list of mine now!

IMNOTSHOUTING · 25/12/2020 17:18

Regifting in itself I don't mind, if you're given a gift you don't want but you think someone else would love it would be crazy to throw it away because the box is a little dented. I also would much prefer a thoughtful, quality gift bought second hand that something new but generic.

Gift giving does become pointless though when you're just giving them some junk for the sake of it. If no thought has gone into it and you're just passing round the same old junk I'd much rather do nothing.

julieandertoninthewarehouse · 25/12/2020 17:27

I do regift BUT only if I think the recipient will really like it and usually as an added extra to anything else I'd buy them as usual. I wouldn't regift something that was bashed or old.

Wearywithteens · 25/12/2020 17:37

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

AliceinBunniland · 25/12/2020 18:19

@TonMoulin

There is regift and regift isn’t there?

Regifting something when it is like new and you think the receiver willl like it is ok imo.
Regifting something that is damaged and of no interest to the receiver is crap. It plainly showing you can’t even be arsed to find something generic for them.

If something has been regifted a few times I’d assume it’s crap too and belong to the bin

I agree with this

Mumski45 · 25/12/2020 18:44

A friend once regifted to my DS a tough set which I had gifted to her son the year before. I knew because the box had a bit of damage to it.
It was either deliberate because she thought I had sent something not quite perfect or a mistake because she had not been organised enough to make a note of who gave what. I gave her the benefit of the doubt at the time but I don't see much of her any more and we have stopped swapping gifts for each other's children.

I have no problem with regifting in principle as long as you think the receiver will like the gift. I would hate to see unwanted gifts just thrown away.

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