Re-gifting becoming the norm?

[DishingOutDone]

Sat down this morning and had our obligatory re-gifted odd items from a pair of elderly relatives, everything from novelty socks to soap on a rope. We are fine with this, it usually quite amusing and sometimes the stuff they send proves very handy.

Moved on to younger, very comfortable family members/friends gifts and found the same had happened. Not so amusing. Some stuff you could see the boxes were damaged and they'd done the rounds for a while. Felt a bit sad for teenage DDs opening it all, of course they got some nice stuff from me/their Dad, but everything I'd sent out was new and everything we got back was re-gifted.

It made me wonder that if it has gone beyond elderly relatives doing it, do younger (20s-30s) people think its ok now to resort to re-gifting as the norm rather than something done now and again?

Positive to think of the environment. As long as regifts are thoughtful can’t see the issue.

Saying that I’m very reserved and most gifts end up as token gestures

I think regifting is fine if the gift is in pristine condition and if you genuinely think it is something the other person would love. Ie there has to be some genuine thought behind it.

YANBU.

Regifting is fine if it's something you think the new recipient would like.

If it's random crap that no one would want (old soap on a rope, crappy bath stuff, tatty packaging etc) then it shouldn't be regifted. Rather donate it so the people who end up with it chose it.

It's really poor form to give kids inappropriate presents :(

We get some regifted stuff but it’s toys from older cousins and they are appropriate and they get way more, think 4 sets of old Lego instead of one new one. It’s great, but I’d be really sad if they got something they’d never want to use.

It’s not great but do you expect people to add to land fill by chucking away something just so they can buy something else that’s brand new?

I agree @Vitaminsss.
If you want to protect the planet, just stop buying token presents no one ever wants.
And no regifting crap doesn’t class as savings the planet. It just perpetuates unnecessary gifting

I can understand your dismay. It seems to be an attitude of "That'll do for X", rather than any thought put into the gift, regardless of the cost.

Reminds me of the Christmas my cousin gave me a shoebox filled with 3 or 4 half-used bottles of toiletries. At least she had the decency to look quite embarrassed when I opened it!

I’m wondering if all thé people happy with regifting would also be happy with being receiver of the type of presents the OP’s dd received? Tatty, damaged, clearly been on the go for a while and unsuitable.

FWIW, if I was to receive something I really wanted/enjoyed, I wouldn’t take much notice of a damaged packaging. Just like DH regularly receives second hand books (because they are very hard to find new)

I do notice the tatty package when there has been no thought behind the present.

What OP is describing isn’t really regifting but more like people offloading their old tat and making our that they are presents. Normal regifting is just sending on something brand new that is either not to your taste or something you like perfectly well but you already have too many of.

People who are complaining about the lack of thought regarding a regift are not considering that these presents were perhaps not so well thought out when bought in a shop if the recipient has no use for them

I think it totally depends on the regifted item. I often get beauty sets as gifts but I'm not really into that sort of thing so I'll repack them and store them in a large storage box. When they're taken out to regift laterin the year they look brand new, no dirty scuff marks and no dented packaging.
If you're getting stuff that has obvious signs of having been shoved to the back of a much used drawer and you can tell it's a regift then that's a definite no no

Without regifting many bottles of wine (I don,t drink) and many scented candles (I am fire-phobic) would be dumped in a landfill.

I don't agree with regifting unless it's clearly relevant for that person.

My sister for instance loves the Bayliss And Harding hand washes for instance, so she'd be chuffed with something like that. I wouldn't however give her only something I'd been regifted.

There should be more in the way of bring and buy sales after Christmas. People would be delighted to shift unwanted gifts and you could get some bargains of things you actually wanted.

I think a lot of that kind of regifting is a sign that people are feeling obligated to buy too many gifts - people they shouldn't be buying for, things they can't afford.

Most people don't give gifts like that because they love to, they feel they have to.

The rules of re gifting aer that it must be immaculate and quality, unless from elderly or not well off acquaintances.

I would suggest to them not buying presents next year and see what they say. Perhaps they don't want to partake in it. I would gladly stop buying so many presents. At least this year the majority of the paper was recyclable.

I bought everything online this year and, like pp, received quite a few in bashed up boxes. (Amazon is about the only retailer where stuff arrived in pristine condition...) I really hope people don’t think I’ve just regifted 🙁

If we really want to do our bit for the environment we need to reduce the amount we buy. So, don’t buy so many gifts for so many people.
Reduce, reuse then recycle in that order.

Regifting on the whole is lazy and cheap but there are exceptions.

One year my friend gifted me a candle I remember her buying the year before and she had used it! It was very funny. I used to get gifts I didn’t need and didn’t appreciate, so many scarves and candles! It was stressing me out so I greatly reduced my circle of gift giving. I only buy for children in my family and don’t go over the top.
There’s so much crap out there.

I’m probably going to get shot for this but I am not a fan of regifting. I know we buy too much impersonal shit which goes into landfill etc but unless it’s something very carefully chosen it usually feels like a bit of a fuck you present tbh: I am passively aggressively going to both show you how unimportant you are while burnishing my sustainability credentials.

If you can’t afford to buy a gift just say so. Passing some old shite off as a present is the worst of all worlds.

I received few regifted things in my time, which honestly made me feel like receiving junk that after goes to the charity shop. I don’t regift ever, I choose presents thoughtfully to make recipient happy. If I don’t like something I don’t expect someone else to like it too, better give it to charity.
Regifting is a norm for some people , but if I notice that some people regifting junk that they don’t like themselves, then I just stop bothering with those people. It is the thought that counts in giving, to make someone feel happy by giving them something special. Nobody feels happy and special when receiving somebody’s unwanted junk.
Regifting is unethical in my opinion.

Regifting in itself can be perfectly fine. DS isn't into superheroes etc at all, and you can imagine how many times he received action figures or Avengers themed items from birthday parties over the years. Other children really like Avengers, so why shouldn't I re-wrap them and gift them again? It's a perfectly good toy, just not right for him.

However what I'm guessing you mean are items which are knackered from several rounds of regifting- cheap sets of smellies no one wants which are better suited to tombola donations. In which case, no, YANBU.

It got quite bad in our family about 5 years ago, lots of re-gifts and a very blatant relative who asked one family member (me) for a gift then gifted it on to my SIL THE SAME YEAR. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I'd written a message in it.

Said relative also gifted my aunt back the scarf she had sent her for her birthday.

My aunt, my Sil and I were very vocal about it ( in a humorous way and not directly to the relative) The fallout from it meant its all but stopped again (thank God).

Honestly doesn't bother me.

Its fine if you're giving something which you have surplus of and someone else wants (such as toys), or something very specific and personal like a book or game which you know a friend would like.

But sometimes it feels incredibly tortured: a friend regifted me something recently which was perfectly adequate and in good condition but not remotely something I'd want and she jumped through tons of verbal hoops to say "I didn't really want it because x but I thought you might like it because y". I felt like saying let's call a spade a spade: you can't afford to buy me a present -- just say so!